AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

[AutumnLighting]

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

@Lurkingandlearning It’s only just turned September! It’s not Christmas. I’d be unhappy looking at this tat too. I bet everyone else is pissed off too.

Because, really, Christmas Day is a set day, and most people often celebrate with a big roast dinner, presents, overspending, and fighting with the relatives. 🙄

Is there an Autumn Day? I remember Harvest Festivals, years ago, but that was it.

Autumn is lovely, colour wise, and natural wreaths can be very attractive, but I’ve just never ever seen Autumn lights 🤷‍♀️

Your neighbours sound unreasonable.

You are also unreasonable as light pollution impinges on others.

YABBU. You are both being unreasonable.

Who does that- someone who is seriously affected.

Just take the lights down! Wildlife will thank you.

They do sound mad. They just stood at your door after you told them to come back later? That’s funny 🤪🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 At 7am I’d have told them to fuck off. Weirdos.

Jokes aside though, be careful as this really isn’t normal behaviour.

Who does that? Fucking weirdos, that’s who does that!

Oh gosh they don’t stay on all night do they?

Your lights do sound rather tacky but your neighbour is being OTT.

Ignore the stupid neighbours more like.

So many grumpy old killjoys here! I read, back during covid, a nurse saying how much she was cheered, coming home late at night from her shifts in hospital, by people having lights up over Christmas. I think lights look cheery, provided they're not too bright or overly active. I'm all for them, all year round

And I don't believe anyone gets a migraine from them

I mean, they sound absolutely hideous and she’s likely more offended that you’ve clearly lowered the tone. As if Christmas gaudiness wasn’t bad enough, you’ve now put up lights for, er, Autumn? 🥴

But if they’re not flashing or overly bright, there’s no real reason for you to remove them if you like them. Tasteless lights are just a modern day scourge, unfortunately.

Maybe they're just paying OP back for her selfish behaviour. To me the OP sounds completely bonkers with her "autumn lights".

Nature makes autumn beautiful enough without tacky lights being added to it. Just take them down.

I thought OP was talking about what to do at Christmas time, not that she had her nutcracker illuminated right now.

Autumn has lught. You don’t need to add more.

get a telescope and look at the stars instead, you need dark for that.

Can you even see these lights from inside your house, or are you just inflicting it on the neighbours?

You can believe what you want, but people do get migraines from bright LEDs even when they don’t flash.

Outside lights are terrible for wildlife. Why do humans insist on polluting in every medium possible?

Ok, that’s interesting. I have never wanted curtains open at night because when it’s dark outside and I have the lights on inside, the inside of my house through the window is like a bright picture to anyone passing by, or to the houses opposite.
I have curtains open in the heat so the air can get in the open windows, but always with the lights off, otherwise we get swarmed by insects. I guess when ‘summer lights’ become a thing, I’ll be very grateful for my eyemask!

Not from houses set back with long driveways so they’re far away they don’t! The neighbours sound deranged. They have moaned about lots of other things other neighbours have done. I imagine they’re disliked by the other neighbours they’ve moaned at for kids playing, going to work and fence issues.

You sound annoying and selfish with this mania for needless lighting that bothers others. They sound annoying waking you up at that time but if they want the lights gone, that’s one strategy given that you’re weirdly wedded to doing it. Might as well annoy you like you annoy them. If you don’t want the aggro, ditch the lights. The night is perfectly nice without silly titivating.

Have you read the thread because if you had you will see the answer is yes they can.

They do sound deranged. Cheeky to turn up to your house so early in the morning.

There's nothing they can do, they can't force you to take them down. I don't believe for one moment that she gets a migraine.

Don't go to their house for a discussion.

Flashing lights really disturb sleep even if they slowly fade on and off. If they are constant it is easier to get used to but still annoying. I LOVE Christmas lights and usually the more the merrier, but flashing lights could be contributing to migraines and disturbed sleep so think that you should tone it down for Christmas and Autumn lights are not needed! Surely you can't see them in the house anyway so maybe put them on a timer for the half hour you arrive home so you can see it looking beautiful but then it goes off to protect the peace in the street?

You didn't leave them on all night, did you? Deary me. Please at least turn them off when you go to bed!

I'm assuming you've moved into a nicer area than you're used to and you've lowered the tone with your tastelessness. I'd be pissed off, too.