I had an affair and I want my affair partner to be discovered

[Gemitf]

Had an affair with a married man who has young children. I’m also married with young children.

Since it ended recently, he has gone back to his wife and kids and is living happily like nothing ever happened. I know his wife to say hi to as our kids are at the same school. Everytime I see her it kills me. I can’t bear knowing that he has ‘got away with it’ and hasn’t taken any accountability for his actions.

These feelings are made worse by the fact that my marriage has suffered so badly as a result. I haven’t yet told my husband, but I know I am going to have to if I want any chance of saving the marriage. I can’t continue living dishonestly for the rest of our lives. I assume he will (rightly) want to divorce me. Everything inside me wants to tell my affair partner’s wife what has happened so that he can experience the pain I am experiencing. The bitterness I am feeling is so strong. I want him to be exposed. Should I tell her?

No. Stop and think. You know this is nasty. Dont do it sort yourself out.
and don’t pretend that you are doing her a favour by telling her. That is not your business.

If you want revenge then the best thing you can do is hold your head high, tell AP to do one as you're better than being dragged down by him and block him immediately.

Don't let him anywhere near you or your family and focus on them. If you want your marriage to be over then admit what you have done and and accept the consequences. If not then keep quiet.

I’m starting to think this is a troll now. Surely no one can be this much of an ars*hole.

This

Never act out of bitterness. You and he both cheated on spouses.

There's no point in confessing to your husband or revealing all to his wife just to make you feel better - the feeling better won't last if you hurt others.

Put it behind you and move on. Try and make your marriage work and leave his to him.

Focus on your husband and children. Obviously the guilt and responsibility hasn't hit you yet! You have no right to your righteous anger.

It doesn’t sound as though you want to save your marriage. Leave and divorce your poor husband as you are only interested in in the other man.

Maybe you should of thought of his kids and his wife and decided not to trash someone’s family because you felt like acting like a free prostitute.. for god knows what reason

The people saying keep quiet, what the hell.

tell your husband, deal with the reaction. Deal with your kids knowing, deal with the whispers on the school run, deal with people looking down on you.

You don’t love your husband or respect your vows and he deserves to make his own decision on what to do. You didn’t give a shit about him pulling your clothes off for another man. Give him respect now.

You want to break her heart for some sick twisted revenge on him? You’re a piece of work aren’t you? Leave her alone. You’ve made your bed now lie in it.

I wouldn’t tell either your husband or his wife, why wreck their lives just to make you feel better? You feeling bad is the price you pay I’m afraid.

Unfortunately your update shows delusion pro max.

Of course he’s keeping you sweet and quiet with the wuthering heights essays. Was your husband the first man you’d known or something? Men are not complicated. A man who can have an affair is already an expert in compartmentalising and does not feel guilty about getting his rocks off. In fact, most men will still fuck a woman they don’t even like anymore if it’s convenient so you must have really put him off somehow. Perhaps it was the crazy shining through, and now he has to treat you with ‘meaningful’ coffee and kid gloves so you don’t fuck his life up.

Old me would have damned you - but new me not damning anyone. Nothing is ever
straight forward in life - nothing ever really goes to plan. Would I go this route,
probably not. We can all be too ready to condemn - what I'll say is STOP and have a
deep rethink, asking yourself why you wanted that affair and I mean ask yourself.
What was it to achieve- and yes these are questions for yourself to acknowledge and
deal with. Ask yourself did you make a mistake. Ask yourself what will you achieve in exposing yourself to your husband and beyond. Consider yourself as the sacred feminine and acknowledge your mistake and grow. "Know thyself" seems like an easy task BUT it is not and looking more deeply will expose that dark shadow self we all try to tuck away and hide!

I would tell her OP. But she and her husband will hate you.

What ever she decides to do FIRST she needs to examine her own actions - her reasons and rationalisations - without which she is heading herself into disaster! It is too easy to condemn and judge and that won't help her - her marriage and the children caught in the mess. Taking responsibility for a mess first means sort out in your own mind what the heck you were thinking and weren't thinking and looking more deeply into examining your own actions and reactions - take account look at the shadow self and make admittance's first to yourself.