If your dad didnt bother with you, then showed up 20 years later asking for a kidney for his child - would you say yes?

[hotmumshit]

Not a real scenario, watching eastenders, and have thought about being asked to donate something to an unknown sibling

I dunno, I dont know if I would 🤔

I'd be inclined to give my kidney to any child who needed it if I was a match. I'd want to check whether I was a match for my own kids first though, as I'd probably keep it for them in that case.

I forgot to come back to this

💐 xx

Its such an important topic, its piss taking when they dont do it well

It would feel to me that i was being used - theres just no way not to

Sorry @peachgreen , didnt see this!

No I wouldn't but this thread made me wonder...

As you probably know, in order to donate an organ, the donor needs to be 'alive' when the organ is removed which really means that (Excluding live organ donations like a kidney) only those on ventilators or in intensive care when they are assessed as brain dead can donate viable organs.

So my question is if you donate a kidney to a relative (say an aging parent) and then they die in hospital in circumstances where organ donation is possible and you are still alive... can you have it back again? Do they do that? That would be pretty traumatic having a loved one die and then go straight into surgery.

I don't think you can do that...at least not via the NHS

Dont remember this

I mean, how hard is it to test the blood match?! Could save so many problems down the line

Then again, could lead to family abandonment for the kid who isnt a match 🤔

I saw this on greys anatomy - although I think the guy was fully dead - he didn't get his kidney back and was treated as annoyance 😩

Peggy'd be proud!

I doubt they would. Most people do fine with one kidney, so there would be no medical need to have your old one back.
I am not sure it would be possible anyway. You would still need all the vessels etc to reattach your old kidney.

Nope. No way. I'm saving my kidneys for my own personal use, thank you very much, and would only consider parting with one for close family. I wouldn't consider him my family, really, if he hadn't bothered with me. The man in this scenario isn't a father. He's a sperm donor.

I searched and couldn't find it, maybe it was removed.

I know of a teenager who was turned down as a donor by the transplant team. They never even got to find out if they were match. The transplant team said they were too susceptible to pressure and emotions and couldn’t fully consent properly. The teen was absolutely furious at the time, but did say a few years later that they did feel under massively pressure from their family.

In Eastenders they need blood for plasma so not an organ. In that case, I wouldn’t think twice about offering blood to save a life. No way would I part with an organ unless my heart has stopped beating.

Was it this one?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5101267-living-donor-dilemma?page=13&reply=136195985

I’m keeping my kidneys in case my children need them and that’s the end of it.

Sorry Didnt mean to be so blunt 😩, was just thinking aloud

Aww I can imagine 🥺

For your own personal use made me chuckle dont even know why 😄

I think gatekeeping one's own organs is fine personally...

In the situation you outline, a person who's said no to being tested won't know they're a match with the other relative. So it won't arise. All I'd know in that situation is that I'm not a match with my kids.

No.

oh its ok. I do short answers sometimes on my phone 🌺

I'll just be selfish then! And keep my kidney for my OWN children!

it was! thank you. I know this is a hypothetical thread but there was quite a bit of useful onfo in that one.