If your dad didnt bother with you, then showed up 20 years later asking for a kidney for his child - would you say yes?

[hotmumshit]

Not a real scenario, watching eastenders, and have thought about being asked to donate something to an unknown sibling

I dunno, I dont know if I would 🤔

most people thought that the OP in the old thread was not being selfish...and there are always a few from the "be kind" brigade

I've just re-watched Steel Magnolias and love that a mum can extend her adult child's life by donating a kidney. Imagine if the mum (M'Lin?) had already given her spare kidney to a rando and wasn't able to give it to Shelby - you'd be actually devastated.

I would donate a kidney if it were the only option and was life changing for the recipient, whether they were a stranger or my long-lost half brother.

She pretty much took the "it's upto you" approach but I don't think she was surprised by my answer.

As far as I'm aware he's still alive but he didn't contacted me again after the kidney request was refused.

I had to stop watching. Not necessarily because it was triggering but because it was actually enraging.

My son also ended up in multi organ failure due to sepsis caused by cancer, both of his kidneys were severely damaged and I was told worst case scenario, he may need a kidney transplant if he survived sepsis. He was on continuous dialysis for 4 weeks and thankfully after a rest, both of his kidneys fully recovered.

I'm very glad I hadn't already donated a kidney. I do donate blood/platelets (he received god knows how many blood and platelet transfusions) and I'm on the stem cell donor list (thankfully first line treatment worked with my son but second line treatment would've been a stem cell transplant).

Nobody is getting my kidneys until I have quite finished using them. I don't mind who gets them after that.

I've only got one kidney, so it's a no!!! 😂😂😂

I have no idea who my father is. He’s not on my birth certificate or anything. Not a chance on this earth would I. Especially more so if it’s hereditary you might need yours for the kids xx

I have an absent father who went on to have two more children so I have half siblings who also have children and I've never met any of them.

I've actually thought about what I'd do in this scenario or if my father suddenly turned up trying make amends if he was dying or something and I'm pretty sure the answer would be no. He chose not to be part of my life for the past 40 years so I've no need for him or desire to help him in any way, he's no more significant to me than any other stranger in the street.

NO!

Maybe for a lot of money as compensation from loss of kidney plus loss of dad!

I had thought I'd happily donate a kidney if someone needed one, but when I looked into registering I read about the risks involved and decided, Nope! Not a chance unless I love you. For stem cells it's very different and while I'd donate if it was a family member I didn't know but who hadn't "wronged" me in some way, for a dad who didn't bother with me for 20 years, I'd say "No". As it is I don't qualify for the register as far as I'm aware.

I'd be happy to give stem cells to a stranger, so I would have no problem donating them to a hitherto unknown half brother. However, donating a kidney is a much bigger and potentially more dangerous operation, so that would be a definite no.

This happened to me!

Kidney diseases runs on my family. Faulty gene.

Dad was abusive, cut him off 14 years ago. Tried to get a message to me via a friend last year and ended up asking me to donate a kidney to HIM 🤣🤣🤣

I told him they are reserved for my children. I don't have the gene but he clearly does!

No. I don't think I'd give a kidney to anyone, unless it had been possible to give one to my cat who died of kidney failure - I would have for him if it were medically possible, but not for any human.

'Thanks biological father... Will get me and the kids tested incase its hereditary! - tatah now!' 🤭

I would have bought one from a butchers and posted it to him. Special delivery and all 😆

I would if I was the only possible match available.

I wouldn't risk a child dying just because my dad was an asshole.

However, I don't have children so it's an easy decision for me. I think it's a very different & more complex decision for a parent.

It's marginally different, though, as in this hypothetical case, the father of the stranger is also your own father, albeit a stranger to you.

Non, nein, no, nao, nope,

😄😩 well done

No way! The only people I’d help are my hubby and daughter. After my late father died an autopsy and a coroner was involved, after having a massive stroke whilst being given anaesthetic. Unfortunately he had conditions we weren’t aware of and these were the issue.

I found it very hard to accept that his body had been violated during the autopsy, it freaked me out. I’m not religious by a long shot, but I’ve made it known to everyone that I don’t want ANY of my organs donating to complete strangers. I can’t explain why I feel like this. My husband has an organ donor card, I’ve explained to him I still have to give permission regarding his organs, and I highly doubt I could do it, there is something that stops me that I can’t quite explain 🤷‍♀️

I would probably consider it, as I would also consider tracking dad and asking for donation if it was the opposite. But luckily I know both my parents and know both would tell me, no shot we don't have the time for all that faff!

In the case of eastenders. It’s literally a cheek swab and and a blood draw. I’d do that. I’d do bone marrow as well. Or liver. I’d be hearty with kidneys because what if my other one failed??

It is more than that. It is a daily series of injections too, along with lengthy blood draws.
Sometimes the cells are taken directly from your bone marrow, which means can GA.... which is not without risk.

It is not like going to donate blood in a van in car park.