AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

But, they are not refusing to give up their bedroom for YOU. They are refusing to give up their bedroom for your husband.

I can’t either.

He’s just sleeping - hardly a particularly private activity. Presumably he’ll be wearing pyjamas or something and have some kind of bed covering?

Your DH should just sleep on the sofa. You are making this a bigger issue than it needs to be.

Indeed. Why is this so complicated?

I just wouldnt go. Obviously this tradition of you all going over at the same time has come to an end. You have a baby on the way. It's only a matter of time before your sisters are the same.

Oh well, never mind. He'll be fine.

What do your parents say? They could start looking in Facebook etc for a double sofa bed which might be a solution going forward. They work well in box rooms, sofa most of the time and no floor space when open, but did the job!

What about one of you staying at a friend's house? If it's the family home and some are in their 20's surely there are people nearby who wouldn't mind giving a bed ? Can just sleep there but have all meals at your parents?

I’m tempted to add photos of all three bedrooms to show everyone what the rooms look like, people don’t seem to believe that not everyone has big rooms in their house! Two of the rooms are narrow and the other one has a wardrobe in it, there’s nowhere to move it to so we can get an airbed in.

You're not unreasonable wanting a bed.

You are unreasonable getting annoyed with your sisters. It's your parents' house. All the beds are your parents' beds. If they'd rather make themselves uncomfortable than make one of their adult daughters sleep on the sofa, that's their problem.

Sleep in your parents' bed and enjoy the comfort.

Not sure your point or why that’s relevant.
Would he expect to sleep in his SILs childhood bed instead?

You dont have to sleep on the blow up mattress though your husband can, but what about when you have the twins where will everyone sleep then ?.
You wont be able to visit for the night then unless your sisters are visiting at the same time. Let your hubby sleep on the sofa its just for one night. Im surehe wont mind if you ask him.

I don't really see why its better for your sisters to have no privacy rather than your husband. If all these bedrooms are so small how are you going to all stay over when the twins come. I think you should start looking at and getting used to alternative visiting accommodations now anyway if none of the other rooms fit a double.

What will happen once the grandchildren do start to arrive ?

is this going to be the last time the 3 daughters all visit at the same weekend.

why this weekend - is it a special birthday for someone ?

I can't see why the man can't sleep on on sofa and get up for the day when the family start getting up to let the dog out etc.

I think I'd make up some pg related excuse and back out of this ridiculous arrangement TBH. Let the sisters go and you and DH visit another time. Unless there is a big celebration/gathering for something or other? If it's just a visit I'd defer it.

I'm not pg and even I would hate the sound of this crush in a small house. Nope I'm worth more than that at this stage of my life! I understand the cost issue in getting a hotel, and also the uncomfortable feeling of your DH sleeping in the living area. I mean what adult wants that?

I think if you speak to your husband, he will gladly say he’ll sleep on the sofa.

It just means he’ll have to agree to get up a bit earlier to fit in with when your mum needs to see to the dogs. Im sure he can cope!

I understand you are getting frustrated at your sisters but I think they’ll be expecting this of your husband. Im sure if it was just the 3 sisters and 2 beds, the pregnant sister would not be on the sofa.

Just speak to your husband and dont worry yourself.

Agree with this. Not sure why you’ve positioned this as your evil sisters not giving up their childhood beds to accommodate your pregnancy! Your husband can sleep on the sofa and if that’s too small then an airbed in the living room.

You are about to have twins so there won’t be anywhere for them to sleep in that house if not even room for one airbed.

sadly it seems like an alternative location will be needed from now if you all wish to sleep in the same house.

There isn’t space, it’s not complicated. The three single rooms do not fit an airbed. My parents would’ve put a double bed in years ago if there was the space but there isn’t. I’m not being difficult for the sake of having an argument, it’s just the situation we’re in. I’m not lying about the size of the rooms 😭

I'd just stay nearby in a hotel, unless they can get a double sofa bed or double blow up bed in the living room the house isn't big enough to have a couple staying over.

You say "ideally I don’t want to be on a blow up mattress if I can help it! But I think that’s going to be how it is"

That phrasing made me think there are underlying issues going on between you and your DH. No one here has suggested for a minute that you should be in a blow up mattress! Everyone is suggesting that you DH should be. Yet you say it's going to be you. Why is that? Are you worried about your DH's reaction if he's the one in the least comfortable place? My assumption is that you're worried he's going to be sulky or surly and you are blaming your sisters for not helping you avoid the situation!

This sounds like it’s a longer term issue then as you can’t go stay with the babies. Just leave your husband at home or find a cheap hotel or accept that you can’t all go stay at the same time. It’s not going to work to do this again.

Alternatively pick the biggest single and move every single bit of furniture out of there except the bed. You should be able to squeeze a single air mattress on the floor. My son’s room is tiny but if we take out the book shelves and desk we could jam in a mattress on the floor.

For goodness sake OP your husband can kip on the sofa for a weekend and give his pregnant wife the bed!

This shouldn't even be a conversation even if he does get disturbed.

You're carrying his twins and he's worried about his discomfort?

I've heard it all now 🤣

you are describing the issue as your sisters not being willing to give up their bed to you, a pregnant woman

but that is not the issue they are seeing. You are asking them to give up their bed to pander to your husband.

It’s obvious that he’s the most appropriate to sleep on the sofa in this instance

at the moment it just looks like you care more about men, and particularly your man, than anyone else

you need to accept the no from your sisters and he sleeps on the sofa or you both stay at a hotel?

I wouldn’t want to sleep on the sofa with someone’s husband wandering through in the morning. That’s totally understandable. Stop on your way for an inflatable mattress. Long term, you’re going to need a better set up, because where will the babies sleep? Your husband needs to prepare now for the challenges of sleep ahead. With our first, Dh slept on a mattress on the floor at our house for 18 months! Me and dd needed the double bed. This is parenting.

Have you actually asked your husband about any issues with the sleeping arrangements? He might be perfectly happy on the sofa with his ILs walking past to deal with the dogs.
I’ve said no because I would hate that. I’m quite particular about where I sleep and privacy. He might not be bothered. The comments on here are fairly split too so you may be worrying needlessly.