AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

He'll be fine on the sofa, and it doesn't matter at all that it's in the main room. It's a couple of nights, no big deal at all.

And obviously, don't take your parents' bed.

Then maybe just accept that the period of time the whole family can get together at your parents house has passed? It's hardly going to work once the twins arrive.

Bit of an odd suggestion, but DH might prefer being in a tent in the garden to the sofa bed?

Unfortunately your DPs can no longer host this many people at the same time. They have room for three guests, no more, but if there's no room for an airbed, there's no room for a travel cot. Either people have to come at different times or someone needs to book a hotel.

It's unfortunate but just the way it goes as families change and expand. You can maybe stick someone on a sofa or tent this time, but going forward you either essentially "book," two rooms and your parents have to say no to the last person asking to come or you book a hotel.

He wouldn’t walk through, as I’ve said, people walking through will be my family dealing with dogs in the morning

Then you have no options? You’re refusing any advice. My husband would
just put some cushions on the floor or something. Make a nest- in face my husband does this a lot 🤣 when we need to.

You’ve said no to a hotel , no to the sofa and no to the airbed.

Is the post just for a rant rather than a solution? Basically just go home and don’t sleep.

You won’t be able to stay moving forward anyway with twins so you might aswell start staying in a hotel anyway. Surely one bathroom between all of you would be grim?

I can understand your sister being abit miffed being turfed out of her bed in exchange for your partners comfort.

single camping airbeds are tiny.

No one has suggested a tent in the garden yet. Is this an option for DH or you both?

Also having been 20 weeks pregnant with twins myself I understand that it can be uncomfortable but is there at all an element that you are mentioning the fact that you are pregnant ‘with twins’ rather too much for your sisters’ liking?

I understand lack of space - the house I grew up in had 3 bedrooms with bathroom downstairs, so upstairs was small! The room my sister and I shared had bunk beds with chest of drawers opposite, leaving v little space - but would have just got an airbed in if moved chest of drawers out, my brother's room had a cabin bed with wardrobe etc underneath, leaving enough room for airbed (though you had to lift it to open/close door!). So I just wondered if there were any solutions with moving furniture to give a bit of space in some of the rooms, as quit unusual to have 3 bedrooms that fit a single bed and nothing else at all. But if that's your parent's situation, then I think your only option is to stay in a hotel/ B&B as sofa doesn't work for your sisters and rightly or wrongly if they won't they won't.

You’re portraying this as your mean sisters not giving up a bed for their pregnant sister, but that’s not the case! (Existing sibling rivalry from you?!)
You have a bed, you are actually asking them to give up a bed for your DH.
The obvious solution is DH sleeping on the sofa. If the only issue is someone walking through the room to the kitchen I’m sure he can cope with that. It’s hardly going to be every half hour all night is it.
In future, don’t all visit at the same time!

the whole family is pretty comfortable together so sleeping in a communal room isn’t an issue but hubby isn’t going to be as comfortable as the rest of us in that situation. im not putting my husband above them in anyway, I’m just trying to make sure he feels welcome and has a private space

???? How ridiculous. Of course you are putting your DH above everyone else. He can man up and get comfortable with the situation ffs. ‘Private space’, you have married an utter snowflake if this is an issue.

This. either you go to a hotel or you can't all visit together. Simples

Is the sofa comfortable?
Mine is and I frequently sleep on it when I have visitors

I am with PP, it would seem unusual that absolutely none of the rooms have sufficient floor space for a small airbed or rollout camping mat. Surely a bit of furniture can be moved around to accommodate?
If there is really no space at all then hubby will have to sleep on sofa and that is that. He will have to cope with getting up early that morning. And you will have to accept that you can never visit again when your sisters are there. Because once you have twins it is clear that your parents will not have sufficient space for you. If you cannot fit an airbed you cannot fit 2 travel cots

I cannot see why your husband is refusing the sofa.

Me neither and I love mine. So what if people have to walk through to let dogs out can't he wear pyjamas for the night?

How do you get into the single bed in the box room - stand in the doorway and fly like superman onto the bed?

What do you want people to tell you? No one is going to give some magical way to force your sister to skew on the sofa of her family house for the sake of your husband.
You’ve poo pooed every suggestion people have given you so the only option is for your husband to stay home and not visit.

I’d just go another time when it’s just you and DH visiting.

Yeah absolutely, my mum and I were talking about it this morning and she’s thinking maybe they’ll have to move in the future or lose one bathroom to extend a bedroom… families absolutely do change, and very quickly, it’s just unfortunate that this weekend those big changes can’t be made!
I think my frustration stems from the fact that id give up my bed for my sisters without hesitation! My sisters have always been a bit like this, wouldn’t share things, everything is “mine” etc, we went on holiday when i was in my early 20s and there were 2 single beds between 3 of us, so of course I ended up on the floor on a makeshift bed made from cushions 😂 I just hoped they might return the favour!

This is exactly what i thought - Ha ha!!!

It’s making him sounds like a bit of a diva. What sort of man refuses to sleep on the sofa due to ‘privacy’ but thinks his sister in law should let him sleep in her childhood bed while she sleeps on the sofa instead? It’s really weird.

How far away from your parents do you live? If less than 3 hours, could you just go there and back in a day if you can't afford a hotel? If it is more than 3 hours away and you are too broke to afford a hotel, perhaps you shouldn't even be spending out on the petrol that it will cost you, or the train fare, as that money could be better used for things the baby needs.

Your husband is part of the family. He is not a guest. There is no reason why he cannot sleep on the sofa. Though, your sister's attitude is quite childish, fhrowing a tantrum like that at her age. Does she not like you?

A few questions:

Is your husband really going to care if his MIL walks through quietly to let the dogs out? I mean he’s only sleeping and surely can wear a pair of PJs or shorts and a t-shirt?

If he’s not comfortable to do that, could he not just let the dogs out (potentially feed them) himself? That way no one needs to walk through.

How old are your parents? Given your ages I doubt they are that old so one of them should be fine on the sofa.

Your sisters are being a little unkind, but equally I think you are being overly precious about your husband.

I dunno, my late husband wouldn't have even fitted on my late Mum's sofa