AIBU to want a colleague to stop commenting on my weight?

[YesIwasfat]

I was pretty large at one point, around 15 and a half stone and I am only 5’2 so it was pretty noticeable. Went on Mounjaro last August and lost weight rapidly, going from 15 and a half stone at the start of August 25 to 10 and a half by the end of January, all good.

I have always been open at work that it was Mounjaro.

But I have a colleague who won’t stop commenting on my weight. Every time she sees me (I only work two days) she says ‘you’re looking very slim!’ (I’m not, I’m still a bit overweight!) And if she’s asked me once if I’m still taking Mounjaro she’s asked a thousand times.

I know I can think of any number of cutting comments but given I do have to work with this person HOW can I nicely get her to stop? She is quite touchy …

Have you tried saying 'im done now, ive been doing some exercise and im happy with that' and then if she mentions anything again going 'im done losing weight now, remember i told you the other day?'
I realise this heads off the mounjaro but possibly not comments on your body, but worth a shot?

You've been so supportive about my weight loss [name], but I'm actually a bit uncomfortable talking about it as it's such a personal subject....

And just let that hang in the air.

I could but I think she’d still keep commenting on my size / weight. She probably thinks she’s being nice but honestly I am finding it very embarrassing, like all I am is how fat or thin I am!

I might try that although given she’s been doing it for the best part of a year it could be awkward but I do think I'm going to have to say something!

Have you tried saying “please could you stop commenting on my weight and on my personal medical decisions”? Just simply and clearly like that. Doesn’t need to be cutting, just clear.

I really admire you for being transparent but it’s really nobody’s business. I wouldn’t recommend clapping back; just smile and say you feel great.

@SilenceInside i know but that is cutting, it’s very abrupt and while part of me wants that I do have to work with her and I don’t want life to be awkward for me or other colleagues.

You need to tell her. It’s why I told all my friends and family but not colleagues. As people can be fucking weird. She’s likely jealous.

just say to her oh I’ve stopped and maintaining now. And if she comments you’ve lost weight say nope say as ever. And then comment on her weight. Every time. Like what about you habe you lost or gained?

Just say thank you, but you’re finding it embarrassing now.

Turn it back on her every time.
She tells you you’ve lost weight, tell her so has she and ask her how she’s done it.
And so on, she’ll soon get bored.

I know you mean well, colleague, but all this regular commenting is really making me feel uncomfortable. Could you please stop, and not mention it again? Thank you.

Just give her a sarky smile. She'll soon stop.

I had the same from a colleague every month at least for twenty years. The funny thing was that I was the same weight apart from pregnancy all that time give or take 7lbs-about a size 12-14, so not very overweight . English was her second language and she used to say, « did you lost weight? » It used to infuriate me. Every time I’d say, « No, I’m the same as always ». People are weird.

I think this is a great response. She probably thinks she’s encouraging you, it will be well meant even if it’s embarrassing.

You could say something cutting but this is someone you have to work with.

I’d go with a gentle pushback to start with. If it continues you can be firmer- “Thank you, but if you don’t mind can we not discuss my weight loss? It makes me feel monitored.”

@SilenceInside i know but that is cutting, it’s very abrupt and while part of me wants that I do have to work with her and I don’t want life to be awkward for me or other colleagues.

Ideally I would like to be direct but it’s difficult being so without being abrupt and sounding rude even if you aren’t, although I do agree it’s rude to endlessly go on about somebody’s weight.

It isn’t even the Mounjaro, it’s literally every time she sees me ‘you’re looking very slim’ Jesus!!

@YesIwasfat it’s not abrupt to ask politely, but I can see that it’s a level of confrontation that many people might find uncomfortable. But she won’t know that you find it uncomfortable for her to talk about your weight constantly unless you tell her, and I don’t think there are any form of words that would be guaranteed to make it not awkward.

She’s made it awkward though already, not you, by bringing it up all the time!

Ask her “ How come you’re so interésted are you thinking of trying it?” (Sorry - half joking there!)

If you want to keep the peace, just smile and say "ah thanks, let's talk about something else!" And then without taking a breath, immediately start talking about a TV show or the weather

Maybe pick up on her thinking that she is being nice.

"I know you probably mean it as a compliment but I feel uncomfortable about people commenting on my body. Could you please stop?"
Ans rinse and repeat every time.
"You commenting on my body makes me feel uncomfortable."

It gives her an out as not to seem like a super rude person and is pretty non confrontational.

Take her to the side.
"Susan can you stop commenting on my weight please. It's not something I want to speak about. Now I've told you this I hope you'll be respectful and not bring it up again."

If you want to soften it (you don't have to, but I can see why you want to) you could try to make it about you rather than about her.

"Ah I'm trying to get away from focussing on my size, would you mind if we talk about other topics in future. How was your weekend?"

Then repeat as necessary, getting gradually more direct! (It's not cutting if you started off gently!)

You are an Adult, you don’t need to be cutting or rude. As an Adult you have an Adult conversation, and ask her not to mention it anymore. I don’t think she’s doing it to be nasty, probably just thinks she’s paying you a compliment.

Just ask her to stop.

I'd just say 'thanks' and then rapidly change the subject. Every time.

I'd say "Thanks, but you know what? I feel like mounjaro and my weight loss has become my whole personality at work lately and I'm boring myself! New motto, not to talk about it anymore. Tell me how was XYZ (something about her life)?"

No need to be cutting

“thanks for all the support but the main joy of losing weight is never having to think or talk about it “

repeat if necessary

if she comments again just change the subject or say you are focusing on health and not weighing yourself as you dint want to

she is being supportive and kind so let her know you appreciate that