AIBU to feel hurt about last minute party cancellations?

[HR313]

Long story short but feeling a bit let down and sad - my daughter is due to have her party this weekend and handed out invites back in June before her friends at pre school and nursery finished for summer - we had so many invites declined for various reasons and in the last few days had at least 3 people pull out of her party. We still have plenty of children attending but some of the friends we invited we are quite close with and feel like they just couldn’t care less lots of ‘sorry to let you down’ but it’s just left a bitter taste in my
mouth. I always like to put effort into other friends and others we know but after this I just feel like why bother. I don’t know what I’m asking but just feel upset on my daughters behalf I know she won’t mind and will be too busy playing at her party to really notice I think it’s more me that feels hurt by the number of people that have either pulled out last minute or feeling like they have better things going on, when we have celebrated their child’s party in the past..

My birthday is today!
I never bother with a group meal or party, as too many people are away/have last minute plans for the last BH of the year (other than Xmas).

Parties within school holidays are always poorly-attended. I’d wait until school was back next time.

We are going away for BH; it wasn’t booked in June.

Gosh, I can't agree with you there. I think it's far better to say "Sorry, Child won't be able to come. Hope Yours has a lovely birthday", which covers all sorts of scenarios, than name the actual thing you've decided to do instead because it's so much nicer than going to the party.

Bank holiday - worst timing for a kids party!
we’ve got a family wedding this weekend and are begrudgingly going - it kills the long weekend and meant we didn’t go away as we normally would.

I totally understand - I am supposed to be going to a party tomorrow with my youngest but the car is in the garage and I cannot get there now. I really don't like letting people down (especially a little girl on her birthday)....

It's always difficult over a school holiday. My son's birthday was always during the Christmas holidays. We learnt to either have a party before the holiday or the first weekend after or no one really wanted to come as they were busy with other things.
I hope your daughter has a lovely birthday despite the no shows.

I have 3 dc and sports most weekends. A birthday party on a bank holiday weekend would not stop us from grabbing an opportunity to go away

It’s a Bank Holiday weekend isn’t it? People probably have far better things to do. Your DD’s just in nursery ffs. There’ll be many more parties.

End of August party with the invites given out before the end of school this was always going to happen.

im sorry you are upset though.

personally, ive just this week made plans for the bank holiday weekend.

Can you not get a taxi?

Mine is the 15th Aug and we are probably of a similar age. However, I can't remember going to a single kids birthday party. It just wasn't a thing back in the day (unless everyone disliked me and I never got an invite!).

My daughter is a late August birthday and it is hard as lots of people are away over the summer and lots don’t fully plan what they will do in advance. She wants her party on her birthday or at least the week of it some years and it means some people are not able to make it but we’ve always had plenty of kids who can and have a had a nice time.

If I was invited to something 6 weeks ago for the bank holiday weekend I would hesitate to commit. It's a lot to ask of people to commit a bank holiday.

I think that’s the point though isn’t it- if there is nothing in your calendar and you want to go- you say yes and keep your word!

Not say yes but then cancel when you make better plans

This is part of the reason it’s not appropriate to send out kid’s party invites with huge notice
Family things/ working things etc will all pop up and no one is going to say “sorry I can’t do that C has a preschool party on the date”.
A bank holiday is also a bad weekend for a kids party.

People go away for bank holiday weekend. If they’re anything like my DH, it won’t have clicked that it’s the BH this weekend when they agreed to it. In future have the birthday the weekend after they go back to school rather than during the summer holidays.

But the point is a preschool party is never going to be a priority. No one turns down an invitation to stay on a cottage with friends or family over the bank holiday because they received a 4th birthday softplay in June.
The party of a random kid in your DC’s nursery class is something you do one or two weekends in advance when you have nothing on, not something you block out of your calendar for months at the expense of bank holiday plans.

. In June, people have no idea what they are doing a weekend in August.

I domt understand this mentality. They do know what they are doing, they've received a party invite. If you havent got anything in the diary yet you're free. Not "free until something better gets organised" . Its incredibly rude and flaky to accept but then just bail out if something else you prefer comes along.

That said, i would never organise a childs birthday party for august bank holiday weekend. Birthday parties for children are best held in term time. My child has an august birthday so we do their party before the end of term in july every year.

@HR313 mine are summer born and we always do it either before school ends or just after it starts in September. Its nothing personal really, people prioritise their own families always so I do it then to be sure!

Normally I would agree with the keep your word aspect and that if you have already made an agreement to go to something you should stick to it, but in this case invites for a young child's party have been sent out 3 months in advance! That is far too much notice and if people were pushed for an answer were likely to say yes at the time.
However as pointed out, being a bank holiday weekend for many people this is a good chance to get a last minute break or even see family. These plans might not have been known at the time and as it's a preschool child the invited child is not even likely to know they are missing someone's party. Even then, a weekend away is going to be prioritised over a 2 hour party which there will be many of!

Hopefully from reading the comments the OP will realise to next year do a party early or late if she intends to do one. It's hard if it's your first child and don't really know what works.

But then if you know you'd prefer to keep the weekend free you politely decline up front. That way if everyone declines, the parent can choose to reschedule.

You do not accept it so you've got it as a back up if nothing else comes up, knowing you'll bail last minute if almost anything else gets planned. Its not fair, the parent who thought you were coming has paid etc based on rsvps.

Where i live, if you dont get the invite out a month before, no one is free. I do think preschoolers parties however most people find to be a hassle.

A month's notice I think is fine and completely normal, but this is possibly 3 months as invites were sent out in June!

My DDs birthday is on the 6th January. She has never had a school birthday party. But many very special family celebrations. She’s an adult now, with many fond memories.

As you say @HR313 your DD will have a wonderful time and won’t notice.

It is the last weekend before back to school and Bank Holidays.

People have cancelled because of plans not because it is personal.

Have a great day best wishes to Birthday girl!

You are not being unreasonable to feel hurt. However having a party on the August bank holiday weekend was always going to be problematic. Child in DCs class had end of August birthday and always used to have her parties before everyone broke up in July to ensure a good turn out.