AIBU to feel hurt about last minute party cancellations?

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Long story short but feeling a bit let down and sad - my daughter is due to have her party this weekend and handed out invites back in June before her friends at pre school and nursery finished for summer - we had so many invites declined for various reasons and in the last few days had at least 3 people pull out of her party. We still have plenty of children attending but some of the friends we invited we are quite close with and feel like they just couldn’t care less lots of ‘sorry to let you down’ but it’s just left a bitter taste in my
mouth. I always like to put effort into other friends and others we know but after this I just feel like why bother. I don’t know what I’m asking but just feel upset on my daughters behalf I know she won’t mind and will be too busy playing at her party to really notice I think it’s more me that feels hurt by the number of people that have either pulled out last minute or feeling like they have better things going on, when we have celebrated their child’s party in the past..

It's very disheartening, especially when you are the type to make an active effort to attend parties and events.

Unfortunately the timing of this birthday / party probably plays a huge part in dropouts. In June, people have no idea what they are doing a weekend in August. Add to that they won't have seen eachother for a few months. Plus, people end up on holidays or even just doing their own family stuff before back to school.

I know a friend of mine has a daughter with a birthday end of August (a few days ago). She sends the invite home the first week of school, and has a party mid-September. Yes, it's 3 weeks late but she just takes the birthday girl to softplay or somewhere for actual day.

I agree it's probably the time you are doing it. I think a lot of summer borns either go early and do class parties in July or go late and hand out invites first week back for mid September.

As the PP says, in June people aren't likely to know what they will be doing that far ahead and as it's a bank holiday weekend I would suggest many people use that as a long weekend to go away on a mini break or visit family.
Also as some schools are still on holiday and don't go back til the week after, sometimes the last week can be cheaper so some might be odd on a last minute week away.

It's a bank holiday weekend - the last one before Christmas - so people may be going away. I don't think it's a reflection of how much people like your child or you. Is your child disappointed or just you? I suspect she'll still have a lovely time. Maybe have her party in early September next year?

Even 50 years ago when I started school it was the same. My birthday is 31st Aug so never really had parties due to it

It's hard but take heart in those who are coming, not the ones who aren't. Your little one will have a great day. But I am sorry they let you down 🥰

Agree with the bank holiday timing. Many people make last minute plans for bank holiday weekend and they are probably genuinely sorry to let you down, but in reality if a couple of hours of a petty for in my way for a much bigger plan, I’d decline too

My teenager has an August birthday. We learned very quickly to have her party the first weekend in September when most people are back and available. Too many people are away, seeing relatives or simply have other plans during the summer holidays. A slight delay saves a lot of heartache. Even now she does her bday gig the first weekend in September.

we do a family celebration on her bday - no pressure but an extra special day with just us, doing whatever the bday girl chooses.

Bank holiday weekend in August? Not surprised unfortunately. In future I’d have the party in September.

I would have had the party before you broke up or when you go back to bed honest. As disappointing as it is it's a bank holiday weekend and it's inevitable that people would make other plans.

Agree with pps — my sister and I have August birthdays, and always postponed our parties till school was back. A bank holiday weekend in the summer holidays is just too difficult.

Bank holiday weekend in August is the last time for many to get a decent long weekend away. Not being able to go because of a nursery child’s party is a tricky one.

But you’d say that though, or I would - ‘oh hi we’re so sorry but decided to go to the seaside for the weekend so won’t be able to make Olivia’s party, I hope she has a lovely birthday.’ Not just ‘sorry can’t come!’

Sometimes that’s the curse of having a summer born baby. Both mine are July/August and arranging parties that are always in the summer holidays was a nightmare every year. Everyone’s on holiday or doesn’t want to commit.

I am an August baby and have a late July DC. It has always been this way. When I was little I had a party before school broke up and do the same for my DC. On the day we either go on holiday or we do a nice day out, see family etc.

Can't believe how many people think it's unreasonable to expect adults to commit to their agreement to attend a kid's party-you didn't make them say yes, and it would have be fine for them to say they might have other commitments, but to accept and let you down, without a really good reason, is not ok.
You always get some flakers (and some genuine issues) but if it's people you considered friends, that has understandably upset you now you know what they're really like. No point saying much, unfortunately, as they've shown you who they are. Just be civil and don't put yourself out again for them (obviously don't flake on them, as that wouldn't be fair to the kids).

I had it all through the primary years as one of my DDs is a late Aug birthday I tried all
combos a party in July before break up. Party in the school holidays & a Sept party. The best ones for school friends were July ones having the party the month before school broke up & then just family on the actual day.. hope she still has a fun day.

It's too easy to cancel with modern technology. If you had to speak face to face or even a phone call, I think fewer people would cancel.

Really sorry, it is upsetting for you and annoying. But I agree with PP - bank holiday weekends, school holidays and weekends bookending school holidays should be avoided. All my DC’s friends with summer birthdays either have their parties a few weeks before school breaks up or in mid September. One of my DC has a birthday very close to Christmas and we always have his party in early Feb so it doesn’t get lost in the Christmas busy period.

My DD is a late August baby and this always happened to her. She's now at uni and while most of her uni friends had a fuss made with cake/drinks/nights out, she's had to make do with messages instead. She's hoping to have belated celebrations when she gets back or failing that have a joint celebration with her October born best friend, but we'll see! I guess it's marginally better than a Christmas birthday!

Tbf I think you'd just get more no shows rather than cancelling ahead of time

I prioritise my own family on the bank hol
weekemd.

The obession of inviting the whole world to kids partirs need to stop how on earth do families have time to do normal things if tall they ever do is have to buy presents and arrnaging attending kids parties, I am sorry but there is more to peoples lives then keeping track of all the parties

Walk this all back and think. What do you want for the party?

You want your child to feel like they've been given a special day, friends to play with, and to enjoy her birthday. You've already said that's going to happen. That's all you need really.

I agree that August bank holiday is probably the worst time to pick for a party.
I remember that whatever plans we had in laws would always demand attendance. So people may have had other commitments cropping up. its a long time since June. And everyone hasn't been meeting at school every day.

Next year. hold it in term time and have a family party on the bank hol.

Its completely understandable that you feel hurt by the Flakes.. but I think people view children's birthday parties as a very casual thing, they think loads of kids are attending so they wwon't be missed. It would be different if it was your next milestone birthday and you'd organised a big do.

Also, people end up going to so many children's birthday parties, they meld together and are viewed in a very casual light. So and so can't come because of the chickenpox. Another one has been sick, or hurt their leg.

You say you put a lot of effort into other people's birthdays and that's partly why it hurts. That's really kind of you but I think you need to take a little step back and only do that for the really special people in your life.

forgive the other lot. The plus side is your DD will be invited to their party.. and she has a whole year of lovely birthday parties with friends ahead of her. I hope you both have a wonderful day.

Put all this behind you and look forward to seeing her happy and enjoying herself. I hope you have a wonderful day together.

Next year you should arrange the party for September or before school breaks up. There are too many variables in the summer holidays to get a good turn out.

It's a Bank Holiday weekend, and probably some get-togethers are happening that hadn't been planned in June. Most people are not going to turn down meeting up with family or old friends for a pre-schooler's party. It is unfortunate, though.

Tip for the future: we usually ended up having DD's party on one of the start-of-year teacher training days - everyone was back from holiday, and holiday childcare had finished. It did mean I needed to have parents' contact details to arrange it.