Strange question from TA?

[solioo]

DS has just told me about something that happened just before the summer holidays.

There is a (male, not sure is relevant)TA that also teaches them music once per week (year 2).

DS asked to go to the toilet and when he came back, the TA pulled him to the side and asked “did you do a number 1 or a number 2?”

AIBU to find this a strange thing to ask?! Or am I being OTT?aib

Maybe he was concerned that your son was gone for a length of time.

It does seem odd but there could be several innocuous reasons, from trying to make sure that the toilets are left fit for others to use, through wondering why DS was such a long time to checking (depending on the layout of the school) that he hadn't gone for a wander.
I wouldn't do anything about it atm but if DS comes into contact with the TA next year, just monitor how your DS feels about that and, if necessary mention it to an experienced teacher.

Yes it’s a weird question.
Unless your child needs help in the bathroom or the toilets are not flushing, then it’s an inappropriate question.
As it happened before the school holidays, it’s too late to bring it up but you should ask your child to tell you if this teacher asks him anything this personal again.

Perhaps he was gone for a long time, or perhaps there was a whiff when he came back in and he wanted to checked he’d wiped properly.

It’s all very strange..

Does your dc have trouble wiping? If there’s a smell maybe that’s why he asked. Otherwise weird!

Strange

He pulled him aside not in front of the class, he could said you were a long while did you have a poo for the rest of the class to snigger at.
seems a fairly normal question to ask in infant school! Though We often ask to all anyone need a poo when we smell it in our unit.

It’s not too late to bring it up. It’s not serious but would be worth mentioning to school so that you’ve marked his card, and in case any other parents mention any other comments. They might just do a bit of staff training around it!

I’d assume there was a smell and he just wanted ti check he had wiped properly? Or he had been gone a while? So he was just checking. I wouldn’t say it’s inappropriate. (Teacher here)

Sounds normal to me. It might be about not washing hands long enough. Or about wiping. Or about the smell

Maybe there was a poo smearer at the time, maybe he was gone a really long time, maybe he came back smelling of poo or with a suspicious stain on his trousers.
You often end up having to ask toilet questions in infant school.

Primary school teacher

I have needed to ask many times for various reasons: time taken to return, child appearing unwell before or on return, accidents, etc.
I would never expect anyone to question it as I am ensuring that the child is OK.

I assume he was gone a long time and he wanted to check he had actually been in the toilet the whole time

I don't think it's that strange and as a TA I can imagine asking this if

• the child had been gone a long time (though I would usually point this out and that's when they will say they went for a poo 😂)
• there is a bit of a whiff (so has the child had an accident or not wiped properly so need the TA to assist)
• linked to the first point, there are wider issues surrounding the class going to the toilet and they are checking who's there at the same time as other children (and if they are taking a long time due to chatting or actually damaging the toilets, yes this even happens in lower years!)
• another child has come back and reported an issue (again potentially linked to child taking a long time.....or even worse poo on the floor or walls - again this does happen!!!)

If it is concerning it is not too late to bring up 🙄

Another TA here, I work in Y1 and it’s something I’ve asked kids before as for all the reasons mentioned above. Not weird at all.

Could be lots of think - length of time gone, he might have been stinky, it could be that there’s an issue with the kids not flushing… it’s probably innocent but I’d maybe follow up a couple of times and ask “did you talk to (TA) today?”

It’s probably nothing though.

TA here . You would be surprised how often we end up asking questions like this 🫣

you can definitely ask him if you’re unsure (although if he’s any thing like me he will have spent the last 6 weeks trying to repress all poo incidents )

in addition to the suggestions above- I have also asked a similar question if a child has had a few visits and I’m wondering about a tummy bug or water infection

I agree with above posters.

Why do you think it’s strange OP? What’s on your mind?

The way it is written here, it certainly sounds a weird question.
But remember that you have no perspective, no tone and just the recollections 6 weeks later from your young child. Maybe the teacher is known for being a bit jokey and your DS was a long time, so he said it in more of a jokey way like "oh blimey, that took a long time! Were you doing a number 1 or number 2?!"
I'm kind of intrigued how the subject came up... Was it a case of child is worrying about returning to school because of this or did it just come up casually in conversation.
Personally, I'd either watch and wait, whilst encouraging child to come to me if they had any concerns or feel uncomfortable about him again, or, if child seems distressed about it, I'd follow up with school as soon as they are open and find out why he was asking such a personal question.

Former teacher here, based across nursery, reception and Year 1/2 for the majority. Asking questions about toileting ended up a part of my daily routine! I’ve had plenty of kids even in Year1/2 who can’t wipe, have issues with accidents or can’t/ won’t clean up so leave a mess either in the toilets or on themselves. I’ve changed plenty of kids in the school environment or helped them clean up, so asking questions about poo becomes a regular occurrence! The TA is clearly not asking for the hell of it 🤣 Totally normal question to ask at that age, you’re being extremely unreasonable I’m afraid.

The child is in Yr 2. Is there any chance he hasn't accurately reported the nuance of the conversation? Why does this need posted on Mumsnet to fuel sinister speculation? If you are that fussed, contact the school. If not, afford them a bit of professional trust.

It could be a number of reasons. They may have been gone a long time and they were concerned. Your child may have smelt & they wanted to ensure they’d wiped properly or to encourage them to go back to the toilet & try again if they hadn’t been. They may have asked because the classroom smelt of farting kids (yes that’s a thing) and wanted to eliminate who has stomach issues. They may have noticed they didn’t wash their hands..

He probably got a whiff.