AIBU to laugh at what makes a marriage seem alright?

[FlamingoFloss]

So, on the train. There are 3 men sat next to me having full on conversations (mostly about football). Particular conversation:
’nah, my marriage isn’t great but she comes and picks me up from the train when I need it so..y’know, it’s ok’

Mate: ’yeah, she’s alright then. Not that bad’

seriously?! An ‘alright’ marriage is based upon the fact the wife will pick him up when he needs a lift?

Anyway, this did make me laugh a bit and then I thought, what are the things that make you think your marriage/partnership is ‘alright’?

Ha ha - do share any more of their wisdom!

For me: A cup of tea in bed in the morning

I mean, it's a little thing that indicates she cares, or at the very least wants to make his life a bit easier, so I sort of understand what they mean!

He sounds comfortable with nothing to complain about. Seems fine to me. He probably doesn't want to be over gushy with his mates.

I dont really think you can comment on the guys marriage from a snapshot of a conversation.

The best thing is that we are completely at ease with one another. It's not hard work.

It’s supposed to be light hearted

Love this. And I get it. My DH have been together that long and been through so much that we’re complete comfortable together now. I remember when we were first together- I’d never use the loo in front of him or squeeze a spot and now it’s just the norm

Yes maybe this is what it is. He could be deliriously happy. I would like to think that my DH would comment that he was with me - not because I only pick him up when he needs a lift 🤣

He makes dinner most nights. I’d live on crisps and toast otherwise.

Now this is a good one. My DH rarely cooks so I’d love this

I have the ugliest feet, but he will rub and massage them for ages when we are watching TV.

Actually I think that was quite sweet. Isn't he saying life's not perfect but she does the little things tthat matter for him?

It depends on what makes it not great in the first place, is it “she makes a rubbish sandwich but she picks me up from the station”, or “she kicks me in the balls every night at 6pm, but she picks me up from the station”? Context is everything… try to sit near them again tomorrow night.

Nope, that's awful. How old is he, 18?! Doesn't want to ruin his street cred in front of his mates? "My marriage isn't great" - that's a really depressing thing to say. There is no humour in this.

I mean YABU to try to start any type of tongue in cheek, lighthearted, wry, knowing, average or mundane thread on here.

People will have diagnosed you or these men with something, anything before the sun is up, probably on the phone now to 101 reporting abuse of lifts from the wife and suggesting therapy. There will be po faced, hand wringing, pearl clutching all night long. 'standards' and 'low bars' will be mentioned.
For all involved

Good luck!!

😁

Same, he has other uses I suppose

I'd proably prefer that DH didn't share the things that make us really good together with his mates, on a train full of eavesdroppers who will post the conversation on MN TBH.

I know this is lighthearted but I do honestly think a lot of men view having a wife like some sort of household appliance that does things for them.

Takes care of me when I’m ill, has always dealt with kids vomit, does all the cooking and fixes anything needing fixed, still makes me laugh

I knew if ever I needed him he would be there for me. He died 18 months ago. 😢

My uncle proposed to my aunt by saying "Im tired of takeaway burgers, will you marry me?"

They have been married for 45 years now. Very happily.

Absolutely! I'm mentally preparing a MN bingo list of comments.

Our marriage is alright I suppose. Forty three years on and we still sit side by side on the sofa and hold hands every evening in front of the tv. Plus we know how to make each other laugh.

I don’t think there’s any humour in you 😳 it’s really not that deep.