AIBU for giving a distressed woman a lift to safety?

[Shouldihavehelped]

Hi, long time poster just name changed for this one.
This morning on my way to work lady walked in front of my car waving her hands about 5am in the morning. She was very upset and told me her boyfriend destroyed her phone and attacked her. She asked for a lift to a friend's house and was struggling to speak with how upset she was. I let her get in my car and took her to a friend's house. I then went to work as normal.

This is my AIBU my colleagues told me I was gullible and it could have been very dangerous. She could have stolen my car, my phone, my money. Could have been a kidnapping etc. My mum said the same aswell. I don't regret helping her, I've watched my dash cam footage since coming home and could hear the panic in her voice. She could have been hit by a car or even kidnapped herself. So was I unreasonable for what I did.

Yabu: should have ignored the woman and continued on my day.

Yanbu: did the right thing helping.

Of course its a risk but everything is a risk. Sometimes you just have to follow your gut. I would of done the same

Agree but op. There's no point in questioning it now. You did a good thing and nothing bad happend to you.

To anyone who is uncomfortable don't just ignore, you don't need to actually let the woman in your car but at the least please call 999

This is a well-known ploy for carjacking and robbery - an accomplice waits out of sight and then jumps in.

Clearly your lady was genuine though, unless she took something from you that you haven’t noticed yet.

You were quite naive - it could well have ended differently.

In this situation I would have called 999 for her.

edited for clarity

No you weren’t unreasonable. But you know that. Have kudos.

Well surely only you are the judge of any risk to yourself? You felt at the time she was genuine and she was so your instincts were proved right. In another situation you might have got a different read on the situation and refused.

This is why people are so scared to get involved with anything now.

Yes, it could have been a scam and you could have been hurt.

And she also could have been genuine and murdered by him if you just drove away and left her.

You'd be called an idiot for helping her and evil for driving away.

You can't win either way.

I took a similar risk. In fairness in that case I saw the woman being attacked. I haven't regretted it but I wouldn't judge someone who felt it wasn't safe to help.
In my rapid risk assessment I did factor in that my car is a little rust bucket and I had no valuables on me!
I took her to the police and it's clear she was already known to them as a victim of DV

I have done this, and it would never have occurred to me not to. I don't think you are unreasonable or stupid at all.

Yes in my case my original plan was to call 999 but then I shifted and decided to just let her in my car

Difficult one OP.

Where I live (tiny village in NE), yes I would. Inner city Birmingham, maybe not.

But well done. You did a good thing today.

I would have done the same. Not for a man though. I have told my nieces if they see someone (male) looking for frantic help or on the ground phone 999, don’t get out to help when there is no one else around.

I did similar once, drove past a girl on a country lane absolutely bawling her eyes out walking in the pouring rain and asked if she was okay. Let her in my car and said I’d help, she said she was 16 and her mum was abusive and she needed to go to her friends up the road. I dropped her there and then rang 101 who said I should have waited with her not in my car and rung 999 as she was a venerable person.
in heinsight this makes sense as she could have been tricking me as stated above or could have accused me of doing anything I guess with her in my car but she was genuine and neither of these things happened. I didn’t get in any kind of trouble

I would probably have done the same as you, but yes, there was a risk and I understand why your colleagues and mother think that.

But the options aren’t only “give her a lift” or “ignore her and carry on with your day” as you suggest. You could have offered to call the police or a friend of hers for example, if you wanted to help but didn’t feel safe to let her in the car.

Thankyou,
At the time I didn't think about ringing the police. I should have done though. I think I just wanted to get her away and out of the road.

I wouldn't let a total stranger in my car, no.

I wouldn’t have given her a lift, but I’d have called 101.

So she stands o ntbe street for a hour hoping a police officer will coem, meanwhile her partner comes back, coerced her back into the house and....

Obv you're not wring about it being a risk, but statistically I'd say odds are in ops favour here

I did this once with a teenage girl who was very clearly distressed on a dark night. I took her round to a friends house nearby and spoke to the parent to ensure it was a safe place for her. Several people who were “safeguarding experts” (self proclaimed!) told me I’d put myself at massive risk however I also spoke to a friend who was a child protection police officer who told me I did the right thing - she said that by the time the police had arrived (assuming I didn’t take her to a safe place and just rang the police) the youngster would likely have run off and put herself at greater risk. I couldn’t leave a young girl very distressed at the side of the road. She’d already made to leave when I said I needed to get help

I've given strangers lifts and have accepted lifts off strangers

Really, how often does this car jacking ploy happen? Id assume most distressed women are genuine.

Yes, up to you to judge at the time, in the knowledge that it might be some form of distraction scam, or someone distressed. I probably wouldn’t have let her in my car, but would have called a friend or the police for her.

I have done similar - dropped a very distressed woman and her dog at her friend’s house. I would do it again.

Do not call 101 in this situation call 999 its an emergency

Sadly every time I've heard about it, it wasn't. Ex stopped to help a woman collapsed in the road-she was faking. We once had a whole staff email sent about carjackers posing as people in need, and they would have verified that before they sent it. The most disgusting was a woman holding a baby, assuming people would be tricked by a mum.