AIBU for giving a distressed woman a lift to safety?

[Shouldihavehelped]

Hi, long time poster just name changed for this one.
This morning on my way to work lady walked in front of my car waving her hands about 5am in the morning. She was very upset and told me her boyfriend destroyed her phone and attacked her. She asked for a lift to a friend's house and was struggling to speak with how upset she was. I let her get in my car and took her to a friend's house. I then went to work as normal.

This is my AIBU my colleagues told me I was gullible and it could have been very dangerous. She could have stolen my car, my phone, my money. Could have been a kidnapping etc. My mum said the same aswell. I don't regret helping her, I've watched my dash cam footage since coming home and could hear the panic in her voice. She could have been hit by a car or even kidnapped herself. So was I unreasonable for what I did.

Yabu: should have ignored the woman and continued on my day.

Yanbu: did the right thing helping.

I did a similar thing a few years back. Late at night, a young woman, dressed for a night out crying in a narrow unlit country lane. She'd had an argument with her BF and he'd thrown her out of the car.

Would I do it again? Yes.

The voting is not the usual either/or.
I would not have given her a lift, nor would I "continue with my day".

It is a well-known ploy, & nice - but gullible - people fall for it.
I would have called 999, & probably waited until they arrived - if she hadn't already run off when she was rumbled.

I would have kept my car locked and called the police for her. There's absolutely not chance of me opening my car door for a stranger - it's too easy a ploy to then take advantage of you. If it's a genuine person you're still getting her help, without risking your own safety.

O agree with those saying you’re gut tells you.

I once had the same but the woman was alone and there are a few drug addicts known in that area for pulling scams. She also looked like an addict and wasn’t distressed. This was 4.30am.

She was heading towards the train station so I pulled in there where I could see her, there were others around and called the police.

Once she was seen in the vicinity of the station the police advised me to leave as I had my physically disabled ds in the car with me so if she tried anything physical he was at risk.

You did a good thing and k hope the woman gets the help she deserves.

I would. I hate to think if my daughter was ever in that position. I would be forever greatful to anyone that helped.

It was a risk, but I would have done the same and did something similar last year.

This
🙄

I have done this, came across a very distressed girl, the same age as my son, on my dog walk one dark winters morning, had been abandoned by her friends and she was lost, I walked her back to mine to get the car and drove her the 10 mins home. I was more concerned she’d got into a strangers car (mine) and told her she must not do it again.

In all fairness though, when I was in this situation, I could rule out a carjacking pretty quickly as my car was old and decidedly unglamorous

And robbing would have got them nowhere as my phone is equally old and I was only carrying a small amount of cash.

It's about weighing up all the facts and risks. I tried calling the police and it was going to take them 20 mins to get to us! I drove us to a shop and then the shop kindly locked us in and looked after her (and me) till the police could get there

Dh is a helper everytime time so far he has been pulled into a world of chaos.

How many women do I know who’ve ever been distressed and vulnerable in a public place (clue: a lot!)

How many people do I know who have been carjacked in the U.K.? (0)

So yes; I’d have gone with my gut and helped.

With the one caveat that where you were in the country probably affects the risk assessment.

I have a friend, a big muscly bloke, who was caught out by this and attacked. He was working at the time and what he did went against our staff safety rules. He said it had never occured to him that men could be attacked too. You did a good thing but perhaps not in the safest way.

Nuts imo. You should’ve phoned the police with her location.

Its a difficult one.

My DB did it and it was a robbery but he also says that he’d always stop if a women looked like she was in trouble and would take the risk again if needed (although would call the police too).

I would also hope someone would do it for me and my DDs.

So would I, although I suppose you’d have to be desperate to try to nick a ten year old Ford Fiesta.

I don’t think it would occur to me if I saw a woman on her own that I was more at risk than she was.

As she was a woman it was much less risky than helping a man

I wouldn't have taken that risk, I would call The Police and ask them to come out and do a welfare check though.

A man dressed as a lady kidnapped someone in my area so I wouldn't even feel safer if the person looked female.

Well, you obviously weren't gullible in this instance, because you seemingly read the situation correctly.

You did take a risk, but it's the sort I'd probably take (hard for anyone who wasn't there to evaluate).

I have picked up several strangers off the side of the road, locally and when travelling up and down the country. All of them male. Locally a bloke with trade plates and another time a teenager, both walking on a really dangerous bit of road.
Picked up three students on the M1, heading back to Sheffield after a festival and dropped them back to their digs, its a boring journey back to Leeds from London and was glad of the company, I was a similar age to them.
I also once rescued a very drunk man who was lying in the middle of the road, but had company for that one

its not the car, its your phone, wallet, jewellery and so on.

the scam risk is a woman who stops the car and a man/men hiding nearby

the problem is that if it is a carjacking, they don't know that your phone is old and your wallet not worth it. My car is old but my phone is not.

Did anything happen to you? Are you still here to post about it?

this is your answer

True. But I think most car jackings happen because they want the car and there's not a criminal in the country who would want to go out of their way to steal my car.

Someone gave me a lift only recently when my car broke down on a country road. Thank god for her kindness.