1st cousin marriage

[Wiseplumnet]

AIBU to ask your opinion on 1st cousin marriage?.I have read that the government is looking to ban it. I know it is more prevelent ( but declining) in the UK among people of Asian origin. I am not coming from a judgemental or racist angle. I am just interested to know how mum'snetters of all ethnicities feel about marriage between 1st cousin's. I know it used to be more common in the west at one time, apart from keeping money/property in families, people travelled less widely, so there was less choice of marriage partners.I worked with a girl ( White British) who was in a secret relationship with her 1st cousin and they are very reluctant to tell their family, so there seems to be a cultural taboo in 1st cousins being romantically involved.Genetic factors resulting in disabilities (statistically twice as many as in unrelated parents) is sometimes given as a reason for banning cousin marriage, however we have genetic screening now, and disabilities aren't always serious.As so many babies died in infancy before we had vaccines, better health care etc , it was probably difficult to differentiate whether the close relationship between parents was the cause of any disabilities their children . Speaking for myself,I can't imagine wanting to marry any of the cousins I was brought up with as they seem more like brothers to me, but I could understand why someone may be attracted to a 1st cousin who they first met as adults. Or does it give you the instant 'Yuk' ? Also is banning 1st cousin marriage the same as banning 1st cousin sexual relationships and children, or would that become illegal? Maybe there's no need for a legal ban as the tradition will just die out over time

It's what should separate us humans from animals. Come on, we're not animals, we don't shag our relatives. Like nobody should have desires like that.
On top of that, we are educated to know about the genetic problems associated with it

It does cause disabilities, and among the Asian communities where first cousin marriage is most prevalent, I dare say the risk is greater, because previous generation cousin marriages may well mean that the risk of genetic abnormalities is more concentrated, so to speak. More chance of whatever gene it may be, combining with a counterpart, and it’s a fact that two recessive genes that meet, will become dominant.

It's horrible. A small gene pool is never a good thing.

Name change for this as it is quite outing . But I worked for a while in a clinic for people with rare inherited diseases . A significant majority of the people attending had parents who were first cousins . The disorders the children had were very significant and ranged from people who had special diets their whole lives and could die of a simple infection , to kids who died within a few months of birth due to disorders incompatible with life . One family had 3 children who died one after the other . A lot of us are carriers for rare diseases and we are not aware of it and it never affects us. The problem is when you marry within your own family there is a much more significant risk you will marry another carrier and end up with a fully affected child. So I can understand why it would be banned . People need to be aware of the risks .

Have you seen this documentary, OP?

We share 12.5% of our DNA with our cousins. I used to work in an area where first cousin marriage was normal. The amount of disabled children (some families with 6+ heavily disabled children) was astounding, to the point that an extra special school had to be set up to serve the local community.

Consanguinity is also a problem in some other fundamentalist faiths, to the point where certain genetic disorders are wildly overrepresented in those religions (e.g. fumarase deficiency in the FLDS, Tay-Sachs disease in the Ashkenazi Jewish faith, maple syrup urine disease in the Amish, etc.).

Relatives of my mother’s (non-Asian) married as first cousins; their elder child had learning difficulties and their younger child had an Inherited retinal dystrophy/disease (retinitis pigmentosa) and is now totally blind.

Even if you put that to one side, and you could guarantee normal health, you still wouldn't wanna do it though 🤢

@Mindthenicedeadpeople The family has always been disjointed.

Disjointed is one way to put it when cousins are shagging!

As with any inbreeding the risk of deformity in the offspring is much higher. It should be banned on those grounds alone

It literally wasn’t that big of a deal for us. We have an awesome son and the wider family was never going to start being close anyway. No regrets.

An example is galactoseamia which is 80 times more prevalent in Irish Travellers than in the general population . There are many other similar disorders prevalent in that community . I am not sure many Travellers are educated about this prior to marriage . It’s quite a sensitive topic .

I know a well to do white British couple who are first cousins and married. Both in their 70s now and chose never to have children. Caused a bit of upset in the family at the time.

Encouraging family to look at each other sexually never ends well for women in particular. If the cousins are sniffing about so are the uncles.

There's billions of people on this earth and you chose your cousin.

It should absolutely be banned asap

If it helps, I did shag multiple other people too.

If the issue is genetics related then surely it should be about banning unprotected sexual relationships between cousins. What if for example a couple do not intend to have children, why should the ban apply to them? I don't have a strong view, I'm just throwing it out there

The trouble is, it doesn’t tend to be a one-off. If it keeps happening for generation after generation then the risk of genetic problems is high.

Name changed.

Not everyone in Asia follows this, so stop saying 'Asian origin', which is a broad brush.

But like animals it's very common in western society and sleep around and hook up and be non-commital because it's "fun".

You want to police what two adults do in their bedroom in the very instance?

She also took a lot of opiods.

Science has advanced significantly since then, as have social values.

You have missed out the tight visa rules including earnings that are required when a spouse moves from Pakistani to the UK.

Apart from the genetic problems I would worry about coercion and abuse. It’s ine thing to expose your husband for abuse it’s quite another thing to expose your cousin. Literally none of my muslim female friends wanted to marry their cousins when I was a teen 20 years. It’s already difficult for women from conservative communities to get a divorce, I imagine the pressure is ten times worse if you are married to family.

Anybody who doesn’t think it should be banned should watch this:

We shouldn't aspire to be like animals though. Like I say, it's things like this that should separate us. As for policing it, it shouldn't really need policed/banned as you shouldn't have the desire in the first place. But obviously some people aren't put off about it. I read on here a lot about 'icks' in dating. I can't think of a bigger ick than "he's part of your family." 😆