1st cousin marriage

[Wiseplumnet]

AIBU to ask your opinion on 1st cousin marriage?.I have read that the government is looking to ban it. I know it is more prevelent ( but declining) in the UK among people of Asian origin. I am not coming from a judgemental or racist angle. I am just interested to know how mum'snetters of all ethnicities feel about marriage between 1st cousin's. I know it used to be more common in the west at one time, apart from keeping money/property in families, people travelled less widely, so there was less choice of marriage partners.I worked with a girl ( White British) who was in a secret relationship with her 1st cousin and they are very reluctant to tell their family, so there seems to be a cultural taboo in 1st cousins being romantically involved.Genetic factors resulting in disabilities (statistically twice as many as in unrelated parents) is sometimes given as a reason for banning cousin marriage, however we have genetic screening now, and disabilities aren't always serious.As so many babies died in infancy before we had vaccines, better health care etc , it was probably difficult to differentiate whether the close relationship between parents was the cause of any disabilities their children . Speaking for myself,I can't imagine wanting to marry any of the cousins I was brought up with as they seem more like brothers to me, but I could understand why someone may be attracted to a 1st cousin who they first met as adults. Or does it give you the instant 'Yuk' ? Also is banning 1st cousin marriage the same as banning 1st cousin sexual relationships and children, or would that become illegal? Maybe there's no need for a legal ban as the tradition will just die out over time

A unanimous parliament voted to ban marriages between cousins and other close relatives.
The new law means an unconditional ban on cousin marriages, and foreign cousin marriages will, as a general rule, not be recognized in Sweden.
The aim is to counteract honor-related oppression, violence and other pressures.

https://swedenherald.com/article/sweden-bans-cousin-marriage-and-other-marriages-between-close-relatives-law-takes-effect-july-1-2026

We had married first cousins on both sides of our family, an uncle and his cousin and two first cousins on my mothers side neither are my mothers siblings.
even as children we knew it was weird and I just remember my parents and extended family were embarrassed about it. They were unable to have children, I just assumed it was because of their being related
on the other family, they had one child and one adopted

I didn’t marry mine but we had a child together. I’m not all for it but not against it.

Not sure how much more ‘all for it’ you could be. Surely you are the epitome of all for it by having a baby with your cousin!

And your family and child know?

It shouldn't need to be banned. Nobody should have the desire shag their cousin in the first place. Absolutely disgusting.

I come from a family where there is a very rare blood factor deficiency and there was a serious warning issued to them in the 50s to avoid cousin marriage as the scientists studying this had concerns over what would happen to the chidren from such relationships. It was never a factor in our lives, fortunately.

Odd cousin marriage, you'll probably get away with if unless there is something significant like that, but generation after generation of cousins marrying and having kids( the important bit) isn't OK and is going to lead to issues.

It isn't just people from SE Asia, look at the Hapsburgs. It is what happens, genetically.

What was it about low level incest that was so irresistible?

Yep family do. Child isn’t at the age where we need to have that conversation. And our family all hates each other so no real cross over or awkward situations.

Well not all 😆

We didn’t meet until we were adults. Were attracted to each other and it just wasn’t a big deal to us. We were together 3 years.

How did it come about then? I mean you don’t have to answer obviously 😅 If the family all hate each other it seems even stranger unless that’s why they hate each other.

Double cousins can marry too. Which i feel is too close.

Sarah Beeney's sons are double cousins. Sarah's husband Graham has a sister. That sister is married to Sarah's brother.

Both couples have children and one cousin could marry another. This is despite both branches having the same set of grandparents.

I agree. I see a lot of it in communities that I work with (the first cousin marriage, and the disabilities in many of their children). In my opinion, it’s not fair to put your children at that risk.

There's a documentary cant remember the name but its very sad to see. I guess its not something you go round asking. I know of 1 person who married their cousin and she said they didnt grow up together. I think its very wrong.

I voted, but it's totally unclear what you felt was BU. I think it should be banned.

Two of my cousins are as hot as hell 😂 We didn't grow up in each other's pockets, so my sisters and I can easily see their appeal. Not that marrying (or shagging) them has ever been on the cards, I'm just mentioning it because you did.

The majority of cousin marriages in the UK are within Asian families. The genetic risks from a one-off cousin pairing are minor, but problems multiply very quickly when cousins from those pairings reproduce. It's hard to break a millennia-old tradition so the most straightforward approach is to make it illegal.

I’m not saying it would be difficult to enforce, I’m saying it would be impossible.

It would be useful as a signal of our values, but as a law it’s meaningless.

As an Occupational Therapist I saw the heartbreaking outcome of what is, after several generation of cousins reproducing with cousins, simple inbreeding. Children with awful disabilities living pitiful lives. In many cases I saw several children in the same family, all with complex needs. These were all Asian families and culturally the exhausting, relentless care fell upon the mothers.
So for the sake of these poor children, who have no say in being born with the genetic odds stacked against them, then yes I would support a ban.

It is a very serious issue, and there is an 18 year old study into it in Bradford

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c241pn09qqjo

But endogamy, the practice of marrying within a close community is a bigger problem:

Prof Oddie thinks the main risk to genetic health in Bradford is not cousin marriage, but a similar issue known as endogamy, in which people marry members of their close community. In a tight-knit ethnic group, people are more likely to share common ancestors and genes - whether or not they are first cousins, he says.
Endogamy is not unique to Pakistani communities in the UK. It is an issue too in the UK's Jewish community and globally among the Amish and also French Canadians.
"It's often the case that the exact familial tie can't be traced, but the gene occurs more commonly within a certain group, and for that reason, both parents carry the affected gene," Prof Oddie says. "It's an oversimplification to say that cousin marriage is the root of all excess recessive disorders in Bradford or in Pakistani communities. Endogamy is an important feature."
Rather than a ban, he stresses the power of education - or what he calls "genetic literacy". It's a phrase that crops up again and again from the people we speak to. For many years there's been a campaign in Bradford to inform people in the Pakistani community about their genetic risks. Couples are given specialist advice at their GP; at pregnancy classes, information is shared with expectant mothers.

The family has always been disjointed. We met as adults despite no contact between our parents. It was a long time coming, we met when I was 21 but nothing happened until 5 years later.

Should be banned, has been responsible for a lot of disabilities and medical conditions within children born from incest, which I think 1st cousins should be reclassified as

I know two couples who are married and first cousins. Both older generations. I'm from a huge family with loads of cousins. I couldn't imagine finding any of them remotely attractive. Ugh makes me shudder!

Gross! The thought of it gives me the shudders! I grew up very closely with my cousins so its a massive no no for me.
My kids would very equally grossed out at the thoughts of a relationship between either of them and my cousins kids because of how they were brought up.

Prosecuting what 2 consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom? Authoritarian much?

I worked with children in the NHS who had all types of severe disabilities, 98% of our clients were Bengalis and the majority were 1st cousins marriages. You have to realise in these circumstances that 1st cousins marriage will go back generations, so the gene pool is minute. Even having disabled children and total awareness would not stop them marrying off a child to a 1st cousin. It needs to be banned with prison sentences, its child cruelty! These babies are lucky if they are Deaf or blind, some have horrific disabilities.