1st cousin marriage

[Wiseplumnet]

AIBU to ask your opinion on 1st cousin marriage?.I have read that the government is looking to ban it. I know it is more prevelent ( but declining) in the UK among people of Asian origin. I am not coming from a judgemental or racist angle. I am just interested to know how mum'snetters of all ethnicities feel about marriage between 1st cousin's. I know it used to be more common in the west at one time, apart from keeping money/property in families, people travelled less widely, so there was less choice of marriage partners.I worked with a girl ( White British) who was in a secret relationship with her 1st cousin and they are very reluctant to tell their family, so there seems to be a cultural taboo in 1st cousins being romantically involved.Genetic factors resulting in disabilities (statistically twice as many as in unrelated parents) is sometimes given as a reason for banning cousin marriage, however we have genetic screening now, and disabilities aren't always serious.As so many babies died in infancy before we had vaccines, better health care etc , it was probably difficult to differentiate whether the close relationship between parents was the cause of any disabilities their children . Speaking for myself,I can't imagine wanting to marry any of the cousins I was brought up with as they seem more like brothers to me, but I could understand why someone may be attracted to a 1st cousin who they first met as adults. Or does it give you the instant 'Yuk' ? Also is banning 1st cousin marriage the same as banning 1st cousin sexual relationships and children, or would that become illegal? Maybe there's no need for a legal ban as the tradition will just die out over time

Far too close a kin. Surprised it has ever been allowed to be honest. Second cousins getting married should be the closest. (The children of cousins...) But even that is a little odd. My DC would cringe at the thought of dating any of my cousins children! They kinda grew up together when they were little, up to about 11-12 when they went to different secondary schools .. (they are similar ages.) And when we moved out of the area when our DC were 18-20ish - when all our parents died fairly close together, (mine - and the parents of my first cousins,) we lost touch pretty much...

First cousin marriage is (as has been said) pretty much incest. It's as bad as uncle and niece and auntie and nephew. Makes my toes curl just thinking of shagging either of my 2 male cousins, or any of my uncles. EWWWW! 😖

I definitely think that any kin this close should not have children.

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How could they? There’s no international database of family trees. The only way of enforcing it would be having to take a DNA test before you get a marriage form.

Cousin marriage was banned in this country over one thousand years ago.

The Catholic Church would not marry cousins, nor second cousins nor even third or fourth cousins and until the reformation that was the only place to get married.

Although it was never banned by statute and different churches had different rules so it became possible. Cousin marriage did become accepted in some communities. Queen Victoria married her first cousin, so did Charles Darwin but was never widespread and by the twentieth century it was becoming taboo again.

How will it make women more vulnerable?

Surely if it’s banned then these forced marriages are less likely to happen.

There is already education about not reproducing with family since Darwin was around - although I agree education should still happen.

But if something is illegal then you grow up knowing it’s wrong and action can be taken if you report it.

Like FGM - it is illegal in this country so it is much less prevalent than in a country where it is not illegal.

We have less guns and shooting in this country than America and the punishment is therefore much higher because the law is clearer.

My main reason for wanting it banned is to protect vulnerable women who are forced or feel coerced/guilted into doing these things so I’m interested why you think it wouldn’t help them.

Which led to haemophilia.

The only 1st cousins I know that married didn't know each other as children at all, then ended up at the same uni and only got to know each other then.
They chose not to have children though.

Whilst we are at it, lets outlaw male circumcision and non-stun slaughter

I thought it was illegal already. Shocked that it’s not

Dh has an aunt and uncle who are first cousins and their daughter has been in a relationship for years with her ( and DHs) first cousin. I think DHs cousins relationship is a bit off as they would have grown up together as the families are close.
They're white, Irish people ( not travellers)

It's not just Christianity that is against cousin marriage. Hindu customs have prohibited marriage in the same "gotra" or family for thousands of years, and I assume this was to reduce birth defects.

Plenty of laws aren’t easy to enforce. From seatbelt wearing to the consumption of swans.

The laws remain because they serve as boundaries for the majority.

Laws aren’t made according to the ease of enforcing them.

Because their families will still marry them to cousins, probably with just a religious ceremony, but they won’t have the protection of a legal marriage. So all the problems, none of the protections.

What on earth has that got to do with it?

Agree there is probably a case for banning it. Nobody needs to marry their first cousin.

The issue with many cultures in the Indian sub continent is that you have not just one generation of cousins marrying, but the pattern replicated through multiple generations. It does cause issues with genetic disorders, which are more prevalent in societies which practice cousin marriage rather than just endogamy or marrying within the community.

However, most of these cultures which practice cousin marriage are Islamic and unless the couple also go through a civil ceremony, they are not legally "married" in the eyes of the law, they are just married religiously. So unless the Imams and the religious leaders get behind the idea that cousin marriage is bad, it's unenforceable. Unless you want to go down the route of DNA testing all newborns and their parents which is a bit like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.

The problem isn't really a one off marriage it's when cousins marry over generations. It didn't work too well for the Hadsburgs.

First answer nails it.

Chin chin.

The repeated marrying of first cousins down the generations is known as endogamy. One off marriage is neither here nor there but restricting the gene pool repeatedly definitely is. If you live in an area where this is common and work in support or health services,you will see the utter misery that families and the affected child have to endure. There are some incredibly rare illnesses/ disabilities resulting from this avoidable practice.

As mentioned, it's also a way of controlling women's choices (lack of) and keeping money and property in the family.

It absolutely needs banning and this should be explicitly spelled out to the communities most affected . That would,at least, send a message to young women that they should be free to decide who they procreate with.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_II_of_Spain#/media/File:Juan_de_Miranda_Carreno_002.jpg

A ban should not be ruled out but I would like to see the matter thoroughly investigated first, look at every option short of a ban - education programmes etc - plus the practicalities of a ban - what happens to couples who marry abroad etc. Also look at the effect of other countries laws.

It should be banned absolutely because children born to first cousin parents have double the risk of birth defects. You can't say, well it's too difficult or they'll do it anyway. Imans or whoever that conduct these ceremonies should face prosecution.

I am against cousin marriage. Maybe as a one off it's fine. But if it continues for generations, where first cousins marry their first cousins, you get to a point where the gene pool has shrunk so drastically that the risks are exponentially higher. It just feels like it should be off the table for everyone.

Yes, it was allowed in the past (but so was child marriage); they didn't know then what we know now. Even dog breeders try not to have close relatives mating.
What's more worrying than cousin marriage is how many people might be dating someone related to them, as a lot of people don't even know their father these days-and apparently we're more likely to be attracted to someone who is a relative, but that we don't know is a relative-look up GSA. Some people have found their boyfriend is a step-sibling, because their mum never knew who the father was, and they randomly find out.

I can’t get my head around it, I’ve thought about this as I have a lot of cousins and the fact that parents of bride and groom are siblings. I think it’s crazy that it’s allowed.

Sex between cousins should be banned and prosecuted if proven. If DNA testing proves parents are cousins, we have prisons, don't we? Few inforced and well publicised cases would do a lot of good.