1st cousin marriage

[Wiseplumnet]

AIBU to ask your opinion on 1st cousin marriage?.I have read that the government is looking to ban it. I know it is more prevelent ( but declining) in the UK among people of Asian origin. I am not coming from a judgemental or racist angle. I am just interested to know how mum'snetters of all ethnicities feel about marriage between 1st cousin's. I know it used to be more common in the west at one time, apart from keeping money/property in families, people travelled less widely, so there was less choice of marriage partners.I worked with a girl ( White British) who was in a secret relationship with her 1st cousin and they are very reluctant to tell their family, so there seems to be a cultural taboo in 1st cousins being romantically involved.Genetic factors resulting in disabilities (statistically twice as many as in unrelated parents) is sometimes given as a reason for banning cousin marriage, however we have genetic screening now, and disabilities aren't always serious.As so many babies died in infancy before we had vaccines, better health care etc , it was probably difficult to differentiate whether the close relationship between parents was the cause of any disabilities their children . Speaking for myself,I can't imagine wanting to marry any of the cousins I was brought up with as they seem more like brothers to me, but I could understand why someone may be attracted to a 1st cousin who they first met as adults. Or does it give you the instant 'Yuk' ? Also is banning 1st cousin marriage the same as banning 1st cousin sexual relationships and children, or would that become illegal? Maybe there's no need for a legal ban as the tradition will just die out over time

It's gross to me. My cousins are family and that's a defo no no to me.

That's an interesting question. I suppose they could require parents' birth certificates as well to check for mutual grandparents, but that would be quite a headache for future brides and grooms.

This is what popped into my mind when I read the title of the thread.

It's an episode of Dispatches.
When Cousins Marry.

It's a heart breaking documentary about British Pakistani families in Bradford save attitudes to marrying your cousin. It also shows the consequences for some families. It's quite an eye opener and heart breaking.

ban it. Theres no benefit to the overall population.
The costs of disability and sen sen schools healthcare etc are so high now.
What % of nhs budget is being spent and education?

I do also consider the costs of things like Down syndrome and people generally having kids later increasing potentially rates of autism.

The uk is generally in the crap, with asking everyone to work longer before retirement, students paying 9k a year, parents funding rest of that etc etc.

It's never been common in the west - distant cousins married in royal and noble circles to keep wealth in families / marry those of similar rank, but not ordinary people - and even royals and nobles didn't marry their first cousins. The medieval church knew it led to birth defects over a thousand years ago - they banned cousin marriage up to sixth cousins in the 9th century (and relaxed it to a ban up to fourth cousins in 1215) - they've never supported marrying first or even second or third cousins.

Personally I think it should be banned because of the risk if the offspring also marry cousins.
But it is a really dodgy argument to make - having parents over 35 carries comparatively high risk of health issues, but am not sure how many would support enforced abstinence/ coil/sterilization /vasectomies on 36 year olds.

I used to work with children who had severe disabilities. A significant proportion of the children were born to parents who were first cousins and often in arranged marriages. The parents were often shocked to be told that the child’s disability was genetic and a direct result of their close family relationship.

Shocked at 58% saying you are being unreasonable!!! Seriously....

I'm not sure I'd characterise anyone in Mansfield Park as happy, and he didn't seem to be wildly excited to marry Fanny in my reading.

No. Cousin marriage isn’t in itself a problem. It’s repeated cousin marriage that causes such problems.
When marriages are arranged or coerced, there are family pressures that mean cousins are married. As long as people are choosing their own partners, there won’t be any issue with consanguinity.

Educating the communities where there are problems and targeting forced marriageable will resolve it far faster than changing the law.

Changing the law will make those women who are vulnerable even more so. Religious marriages will still happen, with no legal protection.

If it should be banned or not I don’t know, but I don’t think it should be encouraged either. Making the gene pool smaller can’t be healthy. Just look at what has happened to certain breeds of dog. Inbreeding has been rife in some breeds and now they are very unhealthy and prone to a lot of different life limiting/ending illnesses.

When it comes to those with genetic problems I also think they should be very careful. It is not ethical to knowingly pass on a painful, life limiting or ending illness. I met a young man once who had a genetic disorder. I can’t remember for the life of me what he said it was, but the result was that at 17 he needed an organ transplant. I can’t remember which organ it was either. He had a younger sister who did not have the disorder. His parents found out after she was born that they both carried this gene as the boy was undergoing tests. They then went on to have SIX more children who all inherited the disorder. It was a miracle that the eldest daughter didn’t have it yet they then knowingly went on to have many more children. All of whom may die before adulthood.

What if it's a same sex relationship between cousins then?

What if the married heterosexual couple chose to stay child free?

I am aware of two married cousins, but they didn’t have children as older.

Completely pointless discussion. There’s no way to enforce it. If they want to marry their cousins you can’t stop them.

Needs to be banned and anyone entering the UK to live forever shouldn't be allowed in with a first cousin marriage. The NHS can't cope as it is without more disabled children being born from incest.

Could the registrar not look up their family history when they announce they want to marry? I presume there would be a way.

I knew someone who dated their first cousin for years. They then split up and it was difficult because they couldn't move on easily. Every big family event they were always there, eventually with a new partner.

It should be avoided just because of that imo, nevermind the genetic issues.

It just gives me the creeps. Imagine being two siblings happy that your children are going to be banging

I had neighbours who were first cousins (Jews from Iraq) they had 3 children. I did not know them very well but the mother told me she thought her daughter had very little hair because her husband was her cousin. The child wore a wig.

Thats a false equivalence. Saying “you may never have children” is very different from saying “you may not have children with these 6 people, but you’re welcome to procreate with any of the other billions of people in the world”. The right to found a family is a fundamental human right, but we already place restrictions on who you’re allowed to found a family with. For instance, you may not marry a sibling.

Covering up sexual abuse is one of the reasons it needs banning. As is forced marriage.

It should be banned, It won't be banned because of fear of offending other cultures who have chosen to bring their culture with them to the UK.

So, marry who you please but if your child has medical difficulties as a result, pay for the treatment yourself.

This could be done by taking out insurance or by having your wages or benefits docked. Any assets that you acquire would have a charge placed upon them so that, if they are sold, the state has first dibs until the bill is paid.

Alternatively, stay in a culture where it is acceptable to have children with your first cousin, although in those cultures, I don't suppose you will get treatment until you have paid up a hefty deposit, if not all of the cost.

So, whatever you please but the NHS won't be bearing the cost of your choice.

I know some bleeding hearts will come along with....whatabouuuttt fat people or smokers.

Whatabout them? This is another culture choosing to make expensive, dangerous choices, so bollocks to that.

Had no idea it was actually legal and am a bit horrified to find it is!

No but you will find that big NHS bills for which they-and they alone -are responsible for will go a long way to stamping it out.

No, it wasn't common or widespread.

1. Christianity is kind of against it.
2. You would say who married a cousin because it was abnormal, noteworthy. That's why there was no reason to ban it. People just didn't rush to marry their cousins.
3. Why would anyone even 'care' about wider society if anyone in their family is just marrying other people in the family.

DD is a HCP at an NHS hospital in a city known for its population whose heritage is from countries where cousin marriage is the norm. It is not fake news that there are a considerably higher number of children and young adults with significant health needs and disabilities whose parents are from these countries.