1st cousin marriage

[Wiseplumnet]

AIBU to ask your opinion on 1st cousin marriage?.I have read that the government is looking to ban it. I know it is more prevelent ( but declining) in the UK among people of Asian origin. I am not coming from a judgemental or racist angle. I am just interested to know how mum'snetters of all ethnicities feel about marriage between 1st cousin's. I know it used to be more common in the west at one time, apart from keeping money/property in families, people travelled less widely, so there was less choice of marriage partners.I worked with a girl ( White British) who was in a secret relationship with her 1st cousin and they are very reluctant to tell their family, so there seems to be a cultural taboo in 1st cousins being romantically involved.Genetic factors resulting in disabilities (statistically twice as many as in unrelated parents) is sometimes given as a reason for banning cousin marriage, however we have genetic screening now, and disabilities aren't always serious.As so many babies died in infancy before we had vaccines, better health care etc , it was probably difficult to differentiate whether the close relationship between parents was the cause of any disabilities their children . Speaking for myself,I can't imagine wanting to marry any of the cousins I was brought up with as they seem more like brothers to me, but I could understand why someone may be attracted to a 1st cousin who they first met as adults. Or does it give you the instant 'Yuk' ? Also is banning 1st cousin marriage the same as banning 1st cousin sexual relationships and children, or would that become illegal? Maybe there's no need for a legal ban as the tradition will just die out over time

Doesn’t mean you can get ahead of yourself and call it incest.

It’s appalling and a tremendous drain on the NHS because of the health outcomes of this inbreeding.

After 3 generations of 1st cousins marriage you are genetically speaking marrying your sibling.
If anyone needs to know how that works out over time just look at the pharaohs and the reason for the each of the dynasties ending.
1st, 2nd and 3rd cousin marriage should be outlawed and classed as insest

Not your body? Not your choice right?

But once you find out it's your cousin, you couldn't, could you? Like talk about a passion killer. You're not an animal.

I thought it was already illegal? It’s very weird. Your DMiL is also your aunty 🤣

Excessive alcohol consumption costs the NHS England £5 billion a year, are you calling for alcohol to be banned too?

Imagine going so out of your way to defend marrying your cousin with all these weird arguments!

It makes you an utter wrongun should be enough to put people off!

How on earth are you defending marrying and pro creating with a blood relative in 2026 with all we know about genetic makeup.

there is loads of it going on and it’s not just one offs. It’s generation after generation doing it which results in genetic illnesses and deformities. It costs the NHS. Just go into a paediatric hospital and look around you. It is clearly a big problem.

It’s not Asian communities, it’s Pakistani/muslim communities. Overall in Indian society, cousin marriage is akin to marrying a sibling!

I can see the reasoning for wanting to ban it.

But what about someone like me, my brother and 2 of my cousins. We're all adopted and none of us are blood related, to each other or to our other 12 cousins.

Not that it was ever an issue, but should one of us have been 'banned' from marrying one of our cousins? There would have been no genetic issues and no 'consanguinity'.

Rather than naming a specific relationship, perhaps it should rather be on degree of consanguinity by DNA test. Or an exception for relatives who are not 'blood' relatives.

I agree with you. Genuinely lost for words.

God, I don't know. It's so much more far-fetched as a scenario to randomly meet and be attracted to a full sibling than a first cousin that I really have no idea how I'd feel. It would just be a more complicated situation all round and of course that would make you slam the handbrake on. But cousins? Perhaps if you've grown up knowing yours it's hard to imagine having no idea about them. We know that human beings tend to be attracted to people who look like them. I kind of think a cousin might be similar enough to be attractive but not so similar it was like shagging your brother. And of course the implications are different if you're beyond childbearing age. I honestly haven't thought about it as closely as you seem to think I should though.

Some people are so open minded that their brains have fallen out.

I think it's a wind up

The huge difference is choice.

You have to assume the decision to have a baby is a given, or its a whole other conversation about who should be allowed children at all, and that's not the discussion here.

So:

If you're going to have a baby and risks are higher because of age - well, you can't make yourself younger, you have a baby knowing the risk exists.

If you're going to have a baby with a relative, you're actively choosing a higher risk option for your child, knowing you could make, quite literally, millions of different choices about their other parent and not expose them to that risk.

I think that’s the worst part about it.
It’s not just 2 cousins marrying, it’s the relatives before them that have done the same thing.

If you read my posts, you’ll see I’m pleased the practise is falling sharply.

It’s you that can’t seem to make a point without insulting someone.

Well what about someone like you?

Do you feel repulsed at marrying, shagging and raising a baby with them or has the idea ever taken your fancy?

It must be.
To me it’s an abhorrent practice, and anyone defending it is either a wrong ‘un, or trolling.

I think it’s icky and unnecessary - would fully support a ban. Plenty of people out there to marry, doesn’t need to be your cousin!

This kind of gets at the heart of why I would be against a blanket legal ban.

Though for the record, I would find it "weirder" for adopted cousins who grew up knowing each other to contemplate marriage than cousins who are basically strangers. (I appreciate you said it was never at issue - just clarifying for the pp who were questioning my ick-ometer upthread).

Yep, It's very creepy.

It should be banned and it’s time for genetic testing before pregnancy. My cousin has life changing developmental issues because my aunt married a distant cousin in Ireland (she didn’t know - met him in England). I also came across it in Asian and Jewish communities many years ago in a professional capacity and there were devastating consequences for the families involved.

The harbsburg jaw would be the most famous