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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh says the U.K is f***** and he never wants to go back

635 replies

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 14:55

These were his words this morning.

We live abroad in a place where a lot of people are coming to live, escaping the uk and America.
He says with everything on the news, the way it's going and what the people coming to where we are tell him, that we'd be mad to return.
Is he being realistic? I want to return to be with family desperately and have a strange feeling that I need to do it soon

Would we be mad to return at this time? If yes, then when!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
EvieBB · Yesterday 21:22

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 14:55

These were his words this morning.

We live abroad in a place where a lot of people are coming to live, escaping the uk and America.
He says with everything on the news, the way it's going and what the people coming to where we are tell him, that we'd be mad to return.
Is he being realistic? I want to return to be with family desperately and have a strange feeling that I need to do it soon

Would we be mad to return at this time? If yes, then when!

In what way is the UK f***??

RogerBakewell · Yesterday 21:27

UK is 5th largest economy. Punches well above its weight.

Lived in the Middle East for part of my life. Liked it a lot. I like the UK too.

Think Marcus Aurelius had it right long ago when he said "Where someone can live, they can live well". It's all inside you, you can choose to appreciate and enjoy.

AnonyMumAuDHD · Yesterday 21:27

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 20:41

It's Cornwall. It's different from a lot of the uk i'd say?

No, Cornwall is no better or worse than many places in the UK. My PIL live in Shropshire - beautiful, safe, historic sites, low crime in their town. I live in the Surrey and London - both places are wonderful. National Trust properties, castles, protected forestry sites to walk the dogs, many of the top 20 junior and secondary schools per the times lists (state and private), multiple universities within reach, London under and hour. And London? Vibrant, clean air, culture, marathons, theatre land, art galleries and as safe as any city in the world. I have friends and family in Norwich/Norfolk, Hants etc - they are ALL amazing places. And that’s before you consider parts of Scotland and Wales (Snowdonia national park, Conwy castle OMG stunning), or the northern parts of the uk. Or the Lake District, The Peak District, the Yorkshire dales, York and Harrogate as cultural centres for the arts. And then there is the fact that London/Heathrow is a gateway into the cultural riches of Europe - so easy to access Madrid, Prague, Venice, etc for city breaks. ETA and did I mention the Cathedrals?!!

I’d actually never even consider living in Cornwall, despite how pretty it is - the traffic in tourist season is atrocious, it’s full of drunk teenagers all summer for the festivals and surfing, you are miles from hospitals and amenities as you age, restaurant/Hospitality is stretched due to lack of staff (due to lack of affordable housing for locals) and many businesses pretty much shut down in the autumn/winter as a result. It’s 4hours and £200 by train to London (and therefore the main airports for summer holidays), you can never find a quiet beach in the summer, and every other house is a rental/second home so the local community feel is dying.

TLDR: You have a very warped idea of what the UK is. I’d take the UK over pretty much any country in the world with all its imperfections.

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:28

Theendoftheroll · Yesterday 20:44

And you’d move there?

Yes

OP posts:
Dersie · Yesterday 21:31

SpidersAreShitheads · Yesterday 18:17

Where in the U.K. would you be moving to OP? I think that makes a difference to what your experience will be like.

I used to live in London but now I live near the Cotswolds. It’s like chalk and cheese - while government policy is obviously the same across the country, my lifestyle and surroundings are completely different. People are different here too.

I love the U.K. and wouldn’t ever want to move - my brother has lived in lots of countries around the world and while there have been elements in each which are better than the U.K., there’s always also been elements that are much worse too. It’s not an easy time anywhere right now; dickheads like Trump and Putin affect us all. But overall I’d much rather be here than anywhere else and I don’t think it’s anything like how the news portrays.

Is your DH British too?

I hhink it really does depend on where you live.

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:32

Theendoftheroll · Yesterday 20:47

Yes but would YOU be moving to where they are and very happy?? It’s like pulling teeth

What's like pulling teeth?! My whole post was about Dh and many others saying the U.K. wasn't great anymore. I wanted to see what a range of people actually living there say, that's why I asked. I (think/hope) I would be happy living there as i'd be with them, but I obviously don't know until I do it

OP posts:
Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:33

nomas · Yesterday 20:49

You agreed with that poster that the whole of the Middle East is hideous.

We really don’t need these attitudes here, consider if you’d be a good fit.

I didn't realise they said the whole of the middle east, a few posters assumed I was in Dubai. I personally wouldn't live there

OP posts:
Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:36

justasking111 · Yesterday 20:55

Millionaires are decamping from Norway now. Switzerland and Portugal being favoured countries. It's not just British opting to up sticks.

Why from Norway?

OP posts:
FlyingApple · Yesterday 21:36

I'm in the same type of situation but I can't come back home to the UK because it doesn't feel safe for my family and I can see it getting much worse. I'm very sad about it but they come first.

Just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:39

ClimbTheLadder · Yesterday 21:12

Deleted as I realised OP had answered the question (eventually)

Edited

?? There are pages and pages of posts, you can't realistically expect a person to remember every single one and reply to everything. It's a lot to keep up with and I read through when I can, I can't always answer immediately

OP posts:
LanaDelBoi · Yesterday 21:40

bananaobama · Yesterday 15:04

Yep, dont come back. We only want people who have a positive attitude to our country

So that rules out the vast majority of fighting age men from Muslim countries? Only positive people who love the culture of the West and the UK.

Theendoftheroll · Yesterday 21:40

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:32

What's like pulling teeth?! My whole post was about Dh and many others saying the U.K. wasn't great anymore. I wanted to see what a range of people actually living there say, that's why I asked. I (think/hope) I would be happy living there as i'd be with them, but I obviously don't know until I do it

He isn’t going to change his mind!

so you should be posting in relationships if you really do want to move back here

Theendoftheroll · Yesterday 21:42

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:28

Yes

So you’d move to be where your family, who you love and trust, are very happy and love living there.

So why are you asking Mumsnet for opinions? Your family, where they live, are telling you it’s great! And you would be living where they live and love!

ThisCraftyAquaHedgehog · Yesterday 21:45

Depends where you live.
Where I live it's very safe, beautiful and people are lovely.
In other parts I wouldn't want to spend more than 2 minutes.

The UK as a whole is still pretty decent.

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:46

AnonyMumAuDHD · Yesterday 21:27

No, Cornwall is no better or worse than many places in the UK. My PIL live in Shropshire - beautiful, safe, historic sites, low crime in their town. I live in the Surrey and London - both places are wonderful. National Trust properties, castles, protected forestry sites to walk the dogs, many of the top 20 junior and secondary schools per the times lists (state and private), multiple universities within reach, London under and hour. And London? Vibrant, clean air, culture, marathons, theatre land, art galleries and as safe as any city in the world. I have friends and family in Norwich/Norfolk, Hants etc - they are ALL amazing places. And that’s before you consider parts of Scotland and Wales (Snowdonia national park, Conwy castle OMG stunning), or the northern parts of the uk. Or the Lake District, The Peak District, the Yorkshire dales, York and Harrogate as cultural centres for the arts. And then there is the fact that London/Heathrow is a gateway into the cultural riches of Europe - so easy to access Madrid, Prague, Venice, etc for city breaks. ETA and did I mention the Cathedrals?!!

I’d actually never even consider living in Cornwall, despite how pretty it is - the traffic in tourist season is atrocious, it’s full of drunk teenagers all summer for the festivals and surfing, you are miles from hospitals and amenities as you age, restaurant/Hospitality is stretched due to lack of staff (due to lack of affordable housing for locals) and many businesses pretty much shut down in the autumn/winter as a result. It’s 4hours and £200 by train to London (and therefore the main airports for summer holidays), you can never find a quiet beach in the summer, and every other house is a rental/second home so the local community feel is dying.

TLDR: You have a very warped idea of what the UK is. I’d take the UK over pretty much any country in the world with all its imperfections.

Edited

Ok 😂

OP posts:
Shatenoeuf · Yesterday 21:46

Honestly.... everywhere is a bit fucked atm.

The US is a bit of an AI bubble. Take that out & theres far less growth, massive wealth & health disparity, a huge drug problem, and the orange man of course.

China is facing a huge demographic issue and waning consumer confidence, trade wars with the us.

Australia is incredibly exposed to China, facing rocketing house prices, inflation.

A lot of Europe is struggling with similar issues to uk (low growth, lack of productivity gains, rise in mental health problems).

If i had to go anywhere Id be tempted by Norway but in reality they are living on oil money.

EasternStandard · Yesterday 21:46

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:36

Why from Norway?

New specific taxes I think

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:47

FlyingApple · Yesterday 21:36

I'm in the same type of situation but I can't come back home to the UK because it doesn't feel safe for my family and I can see it getting much worse. I'm very sad about it but they come first.

Just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

Edited

Thank you x

So sorry, do you mind me asking why it would be so scary for your family?

OP posts:
Shatenoeuf · Yesterday 21:47

Oh and i live in a lovely part of the uk & life is good, i love it here, DH and i are doing ok, we have good health care services, education & transport.

MrsF111 · Yesterday 21:48

strawberrybubblegum · Yesterday 18:49

The Left are so racist! Do you really think everyone who emigrates to the UK (or to another country, like OP has) is the same? Why do you pretend that you can't tell the difference between them Confused

I hugely appreciate my colleagues, friends and family members who have moved here legally from overseas (from India, Pakistan, China, Hong Hong, Singapore as well as Europe). They are highly-educated, contribute hugely to the UK both economically and culturally and enrich my life.

I'm angry at and about both legal and illegal immigrants who don't integrate in the UK, commit crimes, take far more in social benefits than they will ever pay in tax, and bring over tens of 'relatives' who will do the same.

I'm really angry at the amount of violent and sexual crime committed by men coming from countries with no respect for the law or women. Afghan nationals (like the ones who raped that 14 year old on the train) are convicted of sexual crimes at 20 times the the rate of British men.

Assuming that the OP's husband is in Spain/Portugal legally, is working and contributing, and isn't raping children then it's perfectly reasonable for him to be concerned about UK immigration - it's not 'rich' at all.

Are you so racist that you don't realise that well-integrated UK immigrants are just as concerned about our ridiculous immigration policies as native Brits are?

Edited

This is so well written! 👏

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:49

Theendoftheroll · Yesterday 21:40

He isn’t going to change his mind!

so you should be posting in relationships if you really do want to move back here

How do you know that? 😂

I don't need to post in relationships for the particular thing I was posting about, which was how bad the uk actually is now..,or in fact, isn't
If this post is annoying you, you don't need to engage it's ok!

OP posts:
Theendoftheroll · Yesterday 21:52

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:49

How do you know that? 😂

I don't need to post in relationships for the particular thing I was posting about, which was how bad the uk actually is now..,or in fact, isn't
If this post is annoying you, you don't need to engage it's ok!

Op, he isn’t going to change his mind 🤷‍♀️

and i get from this ambiguous response that you need to post on relationships for other issues

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:53

Theendoftheroll · Yesterday 21:52

Op, he isn’t going to change his mind 🤷‍♀️

and i get from this ambiguous response that you need to post on relationships for other issues

Edited

Again, how do you know. It may take time, more visits back and some persuasion

OP posts:
AnonyMumAuDHD · Yesterday 21:53

FlyingApple · Yesterday 21:36

I'm in the same type of situation but I can't come back home to the UK because it doesn't feel safe for my family and I can see it getting much worse. I'm very sad about it but they come first.

Just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

Edited

Perhaps you should spend less time looking at the 5mins of negative news each day and actually visit?

I have wondered around Peckham of an evening, a bit lost looking for a venue, dressed in 1930’s costume, an older white woman, easy pickings for reportedly one of the most crime infested high streets in the uk… and lost count of the number of locals who spotted our outfits and worked out where were were heading and smiled and gave directions. They were lovely again at 1am, when DH and I were bladdered, in helping find cabs. I can walk anywhere in the UK pretty much and still feel safe. Obviously ANY city, in ANY country alone, drunk at 3am is dangerous but I have even done that after a conference. My extended/adopted family is Iranian/muslim (asylees after the fall of the Shah)- never had any issues living here. They are doctors, lawyers, accountants with kids in good schools and universities, so I don’t even live in a white middle class bubble.

My 18yo and his girlfriend are off to a festival in London this weekend, after a day at Lords with DH and friends. The only reason my DH is staying up there too is in case they drink too much, loose their phones/wallets/keys and get locked out.

If you believe the hype and hysteria on SM and the worst of the TV news, you’d never step outside your front door wherever you live. You’d be building a bunker and stocking up on beans and bottled water.

Visit. See the reality. Live a little and discover what Cook Britannia is really about. And no, it’s not Farage and his cronies. They are not who we are, in case that is what you are basing your opinion on.

Theendoftheroll · Yesterday 21:53

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 21:53

Again, how do you know. It may take time, more visits back and some persuasion

Reread your own op
no way is someone with that mentality going to change his mind