Dh says the U.K is f***** and he never wants to go back

[Chippednailtoepolish]

These were his words this morning.

We live abroad in a place where a lot of people are coming to live, escaping the uk and America.
He says with everything on the news, the way it's going and what the people coming to where we are tell him, that we'd be mad to return.
Is he being realistic? I want to return to be with family desperately and have a strange feeling that I need to do it soon

Would we be mad to return at this time? If yes, then when!

It is curious that the Op has family here

but she hasn’t asked them?

Totally agree.

I would say things are really difficult everywhere in the world in many ways, and some countries it is far far worse. They do not have the safety nets we have in the UK. Most people that live here have no idea how lucky they are...but that is mainly because they haven't had to pay for healthy care, education, prescription for their children (eye watering) and are cosseted to such a degree by the state.

I have lived overseas for a long time, for many years in the past op, and I do understand there is nowhere quite like home, and this comes into sharp focus when there are several wars in the world, even though it doesn't directly impact you or us, it is still uncertain.

Yep it’s irritating. On any thread people use the accusation. Obviously the U.K. can be a different experience depending on where you are.

I’m in that 30 to 40 age range and are fortunate enough to have saved for a good pension, but many my age absolutely haven’t been able to and I agree it was cause massive issues!!

this is one of the reasons I want my son to get out!

We moved to eastern Canada 15 years ago, no plans to return to the UK, but still visit family often. Some personal observations:

• vape shops everywhere, replacing actual shops.
• everywhere is crowded, can't visit any kind of attraction on the spur of the moment, have to prebook.
• traffic jams everywhere - feels like 100% more traffic on the roads than when we left.
• trying to get a train anywhere likely to lead to delays, a replacement bus, and a massive expense.

These are common to both central Scotland and southern England, which we visit often. These are the kind of surface issues visible immediately to anyone visiting. We hear plenty about the politics from family. Also, my husband has been trying to move a small pension from Phoenix Life to an accredited Canadian pension scheme, and they seem to be refusing to give it up. We're currently on the third attempt, but the level of inefficiency and obfuscation from Phoenix Life is unbelievable. Seems like they don't want the cash to leave the country.

Of course it’s not true, at least not everywhere and for everyone. The NHS is absolutely there when you need it - I’ve just had a hysterectomy after only a 10 week wait (no cancer, so not because of that), and when I developed a post-op infection, I was whipped in for a week’s inpatient treatment on IV antibiotics. The care, and aftercare since I was discharged, have been second to none. My dad had a stroke recently and was treated in a specialist stroke unit where teams from occ health, physio, optometry, pharmacy and medicine visited and got him back on his feet within a week, again with excellent aftercare. If you need an ambulance you will get one, at least in my area, which is very overburdened, but triage works. Also have good care from our GP surgery with triage available every day and a call back from a doctor within 2 hours to decide what needs to happen next - either signpost to pharmacy, prescription over the phone or in person appt the same day.

The housing market has levelled out recently and interest rates have risen slightly but if you are selling property where you are and are moving back with cash to buy somewhere here, you will be able to do so - the market is sluggish but there are plenty of homes for sale.

Several posters have demonstrated that crime is falling rather than rising and it is a dangerous myth peddled by the right that streets are lawless and knives are everywhere.

The cost of living has risen but wages are catching up, and if you have a decent income then it’s not hard to live well. Food is still, despite higher prices due to increased transport costs, NMW and energy costs, cheaper than many other countries in equivalent nations.

Recent changes in renters’ rights and workers’ rights mean that these groups have additional protection which has improved their lives.

Please find good sources of factual information and don’t be swayed by social media manipulation and nonsense from biased ‘news’ sources which are trying to sow division and discontent.

Crime has actually decreased massively over the past three decades in the UK. There was a really interesting programme about it on radio 4 a few weeks ago.

It’s so safe where I live that I once left my bright lime green purse on the passenger seat of my car , parked outside my house, for several days and no-one smashed my car window to nick it. Also have left my car unlocked overnight, bike unlocked outside my house all evening, front door unlocked overnight. ( can you tell I am absent minded!). All fine. Zero crime here. I live in a city suburb. It’s boring as hell here, but it’s safe!

You are right about the vape shops. We visited Keswick in the Lake District and it was bad. The locals must despair.

You see crimes on the UK news because they're shocking.

I used to live in a country where you expected to be robbed a few times a year, shootings happened every evening, children were openly prostituted, the police were mainly corrupt as were government officials, and drug-related gang crime was epic in scale.

I loved it, actually, it had a lot going for it as well! But the point is, this stuff never made the news except as dry summaries on an inside page of the paper. It was so normal, and there was so much of it, it wasn't news. Individual crimes were only reported when there was something out of the ordinary about them.

You see our media reporting crimes because they ARE out of the ordinary. Also, you need to be careful which media you pay attention to, because a lot of them lie and/or distort the facts. Stick to grown-up, reliable media like the Times, for instance, and the five mainstream TV channels.

Don't you have family and friends living here? Are you talking to them? How often do you come to visit?

vape shops everywhere, replacing actual shops.
In my ordinary little town we have 1 vape shop out of over 30 shops

everywhere is crowded, can't visit any kind of attraction on the spur of the moment, have to prebook.
There are over 140,000 miles of footpath, 7.000 square miles of national park and 27,000 public parks in the UK.
Libraries, many galleries and museums are free for all and, unless there is a specific exhibition, you rarely need to book.

traffic jams everywhere - feels like 100% more traffic on the roads than when we left.
You're not wrong there.

trying to get a train anywhere likely to lead to delays, a replacement bus, and a massive expense.
Of the last 30 train trips I took (intercity) I have only had one delay. If a train is delayed you can claim compensation so hard to see what the massive expense is.

I agree. I can't wait for the fallout. It's going to be popcorn time for sure.

It’s fine. I can take the digs. Usually it’s an accusation of being a bot, so it’s rather refreshing to just be criticised for losing my job.

Yeah totally. Just been for a country walk near where I live, beautiful scenery, N.Wales, temperate weather , no poison critters biting or attacking me. Back home , drinking water straight from the tap, electric on at the flip of a switch . Depends what parameters your husband uses to say " its fucked" . Plenty of worse places to live .....

That’s rich spidering he is an immigrant himself!

People will have different views of the UK as they live in different areas. Also. People can have very different views of the same area.

My view. The NHS is crap. We are paying a fortune for private treatment. we can’t really afford as our Health Board provides no treatment for my son’s condition. Waiting lists are huge, service is poor. MH NHS is only for the most acute cases. If you live somewhere now with good healthcare thar is a huge boon.

State education is shit if your kid has any additional learning needs, even basic ones like dyslexia. The system works for the most academic kids and no-one else.

Housing is absurdly expensive.

Its harder and harder to get a job especially entry level jobs for young people, with decisions by the last Labour government been a big contributor to this.

The country is in absurd amounts of debt that is costing the government a fortune that we all as tax payers are going to have to pay for.

We have low caliber politicians and massive problems.

It is hard to see things improving.

Perhaps that’s the difference. My area is not nice. It’s dirty and full of Vape shops. I would be delighted to pay more tax if I didn’t feel like those who dictate the rules to us weren’t taking the piss and just giving the money away. I would be very supportive of council tax changes based on community depravation.

Those of you living in leafy suburbs enjoying your Barista coffee and avocado toast should absolutely pay a premium for the land and help out those of us who live in areas that aren’t so nice, so we all get to enjoy our environment.

Honestly I'd think long and hard about it.

We've not full dystopia just yet but it ain't good. There seems to be another CoL hit pretty much daily and consequently quality of life for anyone with an average income is going g downhill fast.

It's nigh on impossible to see a GP without jumping through a dozen digital hoops and everyone knows the situation with dentists. We have an ageing population that someone needs to pay for, unless they are the ones that can't afford to give up work, which along with AI and all the usual stuff is contributing to unemployment.

If you're in Spain/Portugal it's presumably not too difficult or expensive to pair back for visits. If you were in Australia and that was a factor I'd be more inclined to consider it but from
Europe...I think I'd stay put if I were you.

I have family who have relocated there. They have a lovely life. They have enough money not to worry about rising costs and are at an age where finding employment isn't a priority. They are also super skilled in trades skills and therefore pretty self reliant.

It's not home though. I understand why you would want to return to the UK.

There's no difference to the lives of me and my family. Costs have gone up bit since covid/brexit but no significant difference in quality of life. I'm not Jewish or Asian, they may have had different experiences. I do think there is a lot of scaremongering.

To answer your points:

Immigration - yes very high but isn't that the same in most European countries? The UK does attract people due to the welfare state and NHS
Safety - I don't feel unsafe, London is very busy and mobile phone thefts were very high but police focus seems to have worked. I recently felt less secure in Italy when walking solo.
Cost of living - Yes, energy and housing is expensive. Taxation is going to be higher but salaries are still very good around the major cities. If you want to pay for private education it is expensive.
Quality of life - depends on where you live. Still some idyllic places to live, village life, good schools, sense of community, safe. Theatres, NT, parks, variety of scenery all within easy reach.

I would encourage you to subscribe to some US migrants who actively promote the positives of the UK. Often we forget how positive it is here. Examples they give is safer roads for driving, sense of humour, ability to visit theatre, museums.

I think an awful lot of people in this country are completely blinkered as to how good we have it here. I have lived in other countries in Europe and my close family live abroad in Asia and the US. There is good and bad everywhere and nowhere is the same as it was 10-15-20 years ago.

Food prices have rocketed everywhere and we found it more expensive in the US and parts of Europe when we have travelled recently for example, but so many people here seem to think it is just us. I wish the media did a better job of setting out our position in the global context some times.

This is not the ‘crime’ I think OP is referring to..

it sounds like they read right wingy newspapers that constantly talk about the country being ‘taken over’ by immigrants and what rapists all the brown men are. She just doesn’t want to say.

I agree with your husband.

Its like any country. If you have the money to have decent lifestyle then its much of muchness.

You live in cheaper area of the uk with decent wage you can pay for private healthcare, NI still has grammar system if u want private style education, if not you go private.

It ll boils down to money