AIBU to feel fed up about how much summer holidays cost?

[jumpinthecoolpool]

Summer is nearly over thank god and despite trying we’ve spent an absolute fortune. Free things never actually are, there’s always a catch. I got fooled by a kids eat for £1 the other day and it still cost £40 for two adult meals and an hour in a tiny soft play my eldest was bored with after ten minutes.

Has anybody managed not to haemorrhage money? Have had some subtle criticisms from DH and I’m tired of it.

You can end up spending a lot but I’m a big believer that you don’t have do be doing special things every day.

When mine were small we usually went away once or twice in the Summer which broke things up.

Then I’d do maybe one special day per week which could be a theme park, cinema, swimming, a farm. Sometimes this was free because you could do local free swimming and dh gets free Odeon tickets through his bank, we take our own popcorn.

Then maybe one day per week having a play date.

The rest of the time it was just a walk, park, feed the ducks, ride bikes or scooters. Perhaps I’m lucky but we have loads of completely free parks nearby where parking is free and some even have free splash pads. We could spend hours at the park.

Then we’d usually have lazy days where we’d stay at home, I might get the dc involved with some gardening, sorting their bedrooms, make a pizza on a base and watch a movie, I let them have way too much screen times some days but so what.

Sometimes I’d just drag them on a walk to the supermarket to get a few bits and grab a box of Rice Krispies and some chocolate and make cakes

Edited to add why is your dh making comments? Does he take his annual leave to care for the kids too and think of some ideas because he should do.

My DD is 18 now but I notice how there are fewer things available local to me that are free/cheap anymore.
Our library used to do several free/cheap events every summer and they seem to have stopped, I assume they’ve had cuts.
There was a local nature charity which would do some events, they’ve stopped.
The museum has cut its education staff and they don’t do the craft activities anymore, it’s just paid for events now with external people.
The church which did a cheap ‘kids club’ a couple hours a day for a few weeks stopped as the woman who ran it moved away.
i used to mix the summer up with the cheap days - craft at the museum then a picnic in the park etc with full days out.
we’re one of the areas where summer clubs are non existent unless you play football.
the town centre is horrible now and we just used to go and do some cheap shopping and a cafe visit the odd day, there’s no shops now anyway.
I’m glad I’m past sorting this now.

@AlwaysExtraHot i totally agree but that’s probably another thread!

I am impressed with some people’s research skills but even with a lot of research you can still get tripped up. We had what was actually a lovely day last week at a forestry centre and it was £4 to park all day, £3 each for a trail (with a medal!) so £10 and then with lunch and ice creams it was still reasonable and then the heavens opened and there’s small soft play there - £5 each so suddenly another £10.

@AtLeastThreeDrinks if you have the paint and the friends (I mean I do have friends but I can’t see them coming to mine to paint stones if I’m honest.) It was a nice activity; if you would rather be at home I’m not knocking that but just as coke tastes better with ice in a beer garden (true fact) it’s good to get out sometimes.

Dh dld the bulk of holiday childcare as he worked weekends and nights, he used to do one paid activity per week, but it was never anything expensive (like theme parks or zoos) - leisure centre, cinema, soft play and as dd got older dh took her to the arcade and bowling. On a Friday we might nip to the bakery for a Friday treat, but dh was never in the business of buying ice creams or lunches out.

I always took a week off and we went and stayed with my parents near the seaside, occasionally we went abroad.

We went to a national trust place yesterday was free as got a free family ticket with the newspapers they do it every year cost me £7 in ice creams. Can't afford to do anything else this week just school uniform shopping on the weekend. It's been a very skint summer, i know the government lowered the vat to help families but in reality it literally took pennies off prices it wasn't helpful at all.
It's mainly the cost of everything going up for businesses like rent being passed onto the consumer. Not to mention the price of petrol to get around a tank of £20 would of done us all summer 10 year ago, this summer it cost me £80!

If you have the paint and the friends (I mean I do have friends but I can’t see them coming to mine to paint stones if I’m honest.)
I thought she meant friends of the kids, not your adult friends.

Actually I reckon most of my friends would totally be up for coming to mine to paint stones or similar, and most of us don't even have kids... Maybe my friends and I are just odd

I went to my local library yesterday and they are doing events for kids in the morning and afternoons.

There is a happy medium somewhere 🤷‍♀️ we do a lot of free activities at our library, community spaces etc where the most we spend is maybe for an icecream or hot chocolate. We rotate yearly memberships as works out more cost effective that way, usually these yearly memberships are a gift from family for mine or DH birthdays as we never know what we want anyway so just tell family to get us a membership somewhere as that way we'll actually bloody use the present. We do at most one "trip" out somewhere expensive a week, but always take our own sandwiches etc. I have Bluelight and Boundless membership so can get into places like WWT, Kew Gardens etc for only a couple of £ which is extremely cost effective. Boundless costs me I think £40 a year or something like that but we live close to a WWT so even just going there twice a year pays for itself. The hardest part for us atm is actually being restricted by youngest DC (she is 1) naps as she naps like shit unless its at home in her cot 🙄

I love all these people saying that they get their kids a meal deal as a treat 🤣 I thought I was the only weirdo who did that. I always did that as it was way cheaper than going out for lunch and the kids loved it.

Op is there anything wrong with just staying home a couple of days a week? Do you have a garden they could paint stones in the garden to save the mess in your house, or just play. It’s been hot enough for water games, sandpit, ball games, plant some seeds. Draw with chalk

Pour a tub of Lego onto a big sheet so it’s easy to clear away, let them play, let them get bored.

Then maybe have a quiet afternoon watching a couple of kids movies. Mine used to love turning the living room into a cinema and we’d make pizza/hot dogs, snacks.

i do the meal deal as it is much cheaper than eating at cafes and also they eat it compared to picnics which they just wont eat.

It is Really expensive to entertain kids now.

The school holidays can be expensive and some of it might not be able to be prevented such as childcare. But I think aside from childcare most things are optional. Days out generally are expensive in terms of entry fees and food and fine to complain about that but that is a choice. You don’t have to that.

there are things you can do for free (excluding potentially travel costs) - parks, beaches, countryside walks, free museums etc. You can also do playing at home or in your garden if you have one.

We've had a UK holiday this year with lots of day trips and the actual entrance tickets didn't seem so bad (DH is great at finding discounts/vouchers) but the food really added up!

Staying in holiday inns/travel lodges was cheaper than a self catering holiday cottage/mobile home though so it hopefully evened out.

The rest of the summer we only did one day trip as the DC had to go to full day holiday clubs nearly every day which were tiring (and expensive!)

Ha yes, the kids’ friends! We’ve been to their houses too. Don’t get me wrong, I do love to get out and would rather be in a beer garden, but we recreate it with friends, someone’s garden and cheaper coke/wine. And less stress about keeping an eye on them!

I did mean that yes. I wasn’t trying to sound snarky, but I can’t see anybody coming over for a painting activity.

There are a lot of replies about ‘oh we don’t have big days out’ and I wouldn’t have said we have tbh. One farm visit and one visit to a trampoline park (cost £50 that did!) The others have been soft play, national trust, places were members of anyway. It’s still cost a fortune!

Don't entertain them. It's healthy for them to be bored and create their own games. They learn to be resilient and self reliant.

Yes that is the same here!
Previous years I was able to take mine to the library and there were two different groups that ran a holiday club type day but where parents had to stay. They offered a range of crafts and had different activities to do. One of these I know no longer offers this to the general public and only does it as part of the HAF scheme, and I guess the other no longer can fund it themselves (both happened at community centres).
The library still has some activities but these are now externally provided and cost (so like the OP if your child does these they soon add up, the cheapest was £3). Also they are aimed at 10 and under.
I think there is a real gap in the market for the 9-12 age group.

Also I agree with you @jumpinthecoolpool regarding the simple things. Yes we can replicate some of the activities that happen elsewhere at home but it isn't the same. For me my kids would now drift onto phones/tech whereas at least while out they would cooperate and know not to do that plus take their time over things. At home they will do it quickly to tick a box that they did it.

I think my reality is similar to yours. We have met up with people and supposedly low cost activities now cost more than in the past. The trampoline park near us is ridiculous, I am sure I used to pay max £20 for 2 kids but now it's closer to £30. Cinema used to do £5 tickets but they have also gone up to £6 for kids and £7.50 adults.
We do take our own food when we can, we take popcorn to the cinema, I try to go places where I know we can walk for free to avoid parking costs but it still doesn't make a big difference.

I also think the whole let them be bored only works for so long. When your kids are little they don't have the skills to cope with that for long and you need to put in the effort having things available for them to access.
As they get older they only want technology!

I suppose it depends what your budget is.

Are you going away on a holiday?

Is it a case of deciding what you’re willing/can afford to spend per week and then prioritising what would be the best use of the money?

As your kids get older you’ll suss out what’s really free and which places have hidden rip off costs.

Trampoline parks I find are an insane rip off for what you get. I know they have a lot of overheads but it’s just not worth it imo unless it’s a special treat.

Are there any places like a Crocky Trail nearby because those type of places can cost the same as a trampoline park but they are actually a whole day out rather than just an hour.

Swimming was always better value for money too I found.

Absolutely no three year old and five year old are going to happily entertain themselves all day. They just aren’t, no matter how well behaved and independent they are.

Swimming is unfortunately out due to ratios.

Honestly when I was only part time I just didn’t buy them anything that cost money. No ice cream out, you can have one at home etc.

Ignore the cries, eventually they get the picture. If it costs money, they don’t go on, it’s just a lifestyle choice that you get used to. You probably have the money there and then feel guilty and spend it. Try being a bit more strict and say actually no I actually can’t afford this so no.

They really are crazily priced when most people have their own trampoline in the back garden. Obviously they’re designed for rainy days but still. I think our local one is about £15 per child but then you need special socks and they HAVE to be ones from that particular trampoline park. Plus they’re always mega thirsty so drinks unless you’re organised enough to take multiple with you. Then they’re hungry afterwards so snacks. There’s a theme…

Yep I’m exactly the same! It just disappears. I’ve also had no fridge / freezer for almost 2 weeks now so I’ve been going to the shop for fresh food , milk or buying sandwiches out it’s absolutely criminal how much stuff costs. We try to do free / cheap days out but always end up spending something.

We have a big trampoline that the kids mostly ignore 🤷‍♀️ I won’t pretend it makes sense but they do really enjoy it so I’ll go with it!

What a nightmare!