AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

It was a massive overreaction op, yeah its a bit annoying but why did you need to be so aggressive towards the boy? You climbed over the seat, and drove home - it didn't actually cause you any issues so chill out - yabu obviously.

Are you the same person calling someone a cunt in Waitrose?? This is all ridiculous. You parked in a terrible manner (blue badge notwithstanding), someone parks likewise and you speak offensively to a child. This probably felt quite threatening to the kid. I’m sure he was able to take your registration btw.
Just apologise for goodness sake!!

No, from you. You say his dead left him to deal with the wrath of whoever he parked next to, but he didn’t did he? Because you CHOSE to act like, using your own words here, a complete psycho. You say you didn’t swear at the kid, you were just swearing, but you did actually swear at him directly as you’ve said here because you told him to tell his dad he was a cunt.
I get it, you were frustrated, but that was completely uncalled for and I hope you get some sort of formal warning from the police to deter you from behaving like this again if you’re refusing to apologise to an innocent child.
You also clearly came here for everyone to agree with you and aren’t accepting that most people think you’re being unreasonable.

The kid's dad might well be a cunt, but that's no reason to start swearing at a child. Behavior of an absolute lowlife.

You parked illegally, you were abusive to another human, who may have hidden differences and may have recorded you.

Apologise - move on, reflect and learn.

And next time, park properly, get your DH into his chair and if someone has parked next to you when you return, reverse, put your hazards on and get your DH into the car.

I appreciate it must be v tiring caring for a disabled partner.

Perhaps also be mindful that the person who parks next to you may be the Mayor/leader of the council/Chief Inspector's Partner/brother, etc.

You intimidated his son. How would you feel if someone did that to one of your kids?

You sound absolutely vile, that boy had done nothing wrong.

If you were my mother/sister I'd be utterly ashamed of you.

Which is a fair point because there was absolutely no way of telling why you had done this
and nobody was trapped

Sorry op YABVU

Regardless of what his dad did, the issue is that you directed your anger at a minor, who played no part in the parking. That is your issue. You put him in a difficult situation. I massively lacked confidnece and self esteem at 15 and would have been upset if you had spoken to me like that for something that wasn’t my fault.

He wasn’t trapped. His dad was able to get out of the car and therefore so was he. Stop being so dramatic. It’s also dramatic to call the dad a psycho.

Yes what happened must have been incredibly shit for you, but your own behaviour and attitude is appalling. You’ve had the police at your door so take this as a lesson for yourself and apologise to the son.

You were no better than the other driver.
Your swearing and language was intimidating, especially as you were swearing at a minor.
You say were not swearing at him but he was the one that was there and had to hear it. Telling him to tell his dad he's a cunt.
If you were that annoyed you could have waited for the dad and have had it out as an adult to adult.
You decided to act big infront of a minor who didn't answer you back.

You were totally unreasonable. But obviously it's your choice if you want to believe that or not.
I think the boy deserves an apology.

Set a good example by apologising to the boy.

The way the dad had parked is a seperate matter. Definitely not by intimidating a minor.

How would you feel if someone did that to your child? ( for whatever reason)

My guess is his Dad is a police officer.
His actions speak of spite and officiousness

Would you have called the dad a cunt to his face? Of course not. You should apologise, the kid didn't deserve this at all. Probably his dad isn't very nice in a bunch of other ways so you've just added to his pile of woes too...

You sound like the psycho. Why would you speak to a teen like that who is completely innocent in it all? How was the man to know you needed space for a wheelchair user? If there were plenty of other spaces why not just pull out and go into another space for your DH to get in? That would've been the sensible option, not speaking to a child in such a vile manner.

I would apologise admittedly because I would be frightened by the police turning up at my house 🙂. Should the dad have parked like that no, should he have reported it to the police? I find that quite odd tbh. If he parked like that deliberately wouldn't he have thought that the car owner would be annoyed? He sounds very peculiar.

Sure. But why take out your frustration with the dad on his innocent son? You must have scared him and I don't understand why you don't feel any remorse? It's not the kid's fault his dad is a twat. You should feel ashamed of yourself.

You can’t “park illegally” on private land like a Tesco because it’s not a public road. It’s, at best, a breach of contract and a wholly civil matter.

Do “minors”, or indeed parents, get the police at their door when they swear at their teachers? Which they do frequently, by all accounts.

Or should teachers just suck it up and accept it, along with the abuse they receive from pupils and parents every day?

Double standards.

Uncivilly then.

You have been very unreasonable.
I think you need to calm down. Reflect on your behaviour. You did swear, you were intimidating towards the minor.

Whether you want to admit that or not is completely your own choice.

The action of parking the car like that was committed by the dad, what had the boy done to be targeted and get verbally assaulted like that?

The boy had been left in the car by his dad, he was innocent, an apology to the boy for the swearing would mean you are the decent person. In my opinion it would show a good example.
Otherwise, coming on here and justifying your behaviour just shows that you lack any decent characteristics.

He wasn't trapped. He could have got it the other side.
Also you did swear at him. You said Tell your dad he's a ......
You were threatening and nasty IMO

Not the point but - Why wouldn’t you move into one bay after your husband was out of the car? I appreciate if someone needs the space as a driver but you were driving.

Either way, punishing a child for his father is unacceptable. Obviously not a great dad to deliberately trap his kids in a car so the boy probably has all sorts at home already. No need to make his life worse. You must know he was never going to pass along your message verbatim so you just escalated things through a child which is gross.

The police have no business showing up at your door and they will absolutely not take this further. As with policing tweets and hurty words, they do this to get their numbers up as it's easier to go after a respectable person at their home than actually chase criminals down in the street (which is what the public wants). A third of constabularies in the country have not solved a single burglary in the last 5 years (effectively decriminalising burglary because they cannot be bothered). Do not speak to the police or say anything to them. If they arrest you (which they absolutely won't) don't speak to them without a lawyer. They are just chancing it and frankly it's so pathetic that this is what policing has come to.

What situation?

Do you think the dad was some kind of psychic who knew in advance that a) the driver of the car was going to come back before he did and b) would kick off like a swearing machine at the son?

And he was wearing a black shirt and had a ham and cheese toastie for lunch. (I assume we are all just guessing and making up random stuff about this like, since you clearly did)

You don’t get to behave like that and then be taken seriously when you accuse others of being an ‘absolute psycho’. It makes you a hypocrite. As well as rude and nasty to a kid.