AIBU to think being wealthy is vastly overrated?

[ForLoudBrickMember]

I know this will sound really out of touch and I apologies in advance if I offend anyone, but I’ve been reflecting on my life recently and I truly think it is the most overrated thing on the planet. I’m 35, total pre tax income of about £2 million with half coming from working as a partner oncologist in the states and half coming from active investing. DH makes slightly more, total household income of about £5 mil. Now I’ve done it I can say the following;

1. It feels totally normal.
2. It is incredibly isolating
3. The pressure/difficulty is intense. Ours are still far too young for this and trying to avoid it but it’s very common the DC face intense pressure/stress.
4. So so much sacrifice. I left everything behind in the UK, put off DC until late, missed out on so much etc.
5. Being average isn’t much worse. People earning the average wage can still afford a comfortable house, decent car, food, occasional holiday etc. Mum was completely broke as a child and even that would’ve been fine if she didn’t make brain dead decisions constantly.

Yet the average person seems to believe it’s endless bliss, no stress and every rich person is a genius who never tires and never feels sad. AIBU?

Yours is the first post I've read
.this should be good.

I totally get your perspective!!
But that won't go down well with people that are currently struggling !
They will get annoyed !
It all depends on how u have gained your wealth obviously you have worked super hard and had to sacrifice things but not every wealthy person has lol 😁
But I think I agree about people on their lasts breaths families and experiences and being happy with oneself is the meaning of life and that's what truly makes u rich in life !!! 💖

Awww.

Do you use your medical expertise to do any charitable work e.g. offer free medical services in a clinic in a poor area? Surely this sort of thing would bring you some fulfilment (and give you something to focus on other than your wealth).

I was describing retirement?

I agree with @DerangedBillionaire and @krustykittens. If people think life is perfect when you’re rich, of course they’re wrong. Lots of stress, sadness and poor health follow rich people as well, and there are plenty of specific conflicts and pressures around money that look miserable.

But I’ve been penniless (then) and I’ve been very comfortable (now) and fuck me, comfortable is so, so much better. As Frank Skinner wrote about fame (of course slightly different, but he was talking about money as well). - ‘People say fame is hard. They should try forty hours a week in a drop forging factory. I have. Fame’s better’.

I think you should own it, tbh. You’ve worked hard, you’ve done well, celebrate. You can afford to do things with that money that go beyond stashing it away to calm the lifelong fears.

Go read Frank McCourt or the road to Wigan pier and tell us what you think

Does the premise of the opening op
Seems familiar for some reason.
Anyone else?

Are you for real OP? Are you in touch with reality?

Because who the fuck wants to live in the US, is why.

If there's lots of stress involved then no its not any better. And of course, ironically, stress is a contributor to cancer is it not? I'm asking being that you're an oncologist.

And sometimes I wonder why mumsnet has so many begging threads 😂

Oh yes swapping lives with someone who is genuinely poor would do op a world of good! Out of her 'undesirable area' and into a real shithole.

Some people choose to live with very little and are content. Not everyone wants or needs ‘stuff’.

Don't you have young DC?

Steak too juicy, lobster too buttery on the material front. You also get used to what you have and it loses it's allure.

I think what this shows is that there are other forms of wealth and happiness and money isn't everything - but it does help solve an awful lot of problems.

You also have the option for financial independence with that level of wealth so if there's a feeling of being trapped it's by your lifestyle and spending.

Well, yes, but as pointed out above, the real value of wealth isn't in 'stuff', but in security, freedom and lack of friction. So many of life's everyday worries and stresses are at least partially about money, or lack thereof.

You can literally change your circumstances to have an average income, more free time and so on. Most people who have average or low incomes are not able to do the same. So you either don’t dislike it as much as you say, or your are being cowardly about living as you wish. Neither of those things are real problems.

of course being rich doesn’t solve all of life’s issues. Course rich people can be bored and fed up and unfulfilled - but it’s markedly less stressful to be miserable and rich than vice versa.

I would hate to live in a society that values money and possessions like that. I actively avoid materialistic people who attempt to buy status and respect. A friend of ours killed himself two years ago because of the pressure he put on himself to maintain the lifestyle he had always prized; the flashy cars, the expensive suits, the multiple luxury holidays. His business was failing and he couldn’t cope with the shame. Such a dreadful waste. I recommend you watch ‘Money Game 1, 2 and 3’ by Ren (YouTube). They’re music videos/performance art, and they are very insightful and thought-provoking on the subject of greed, abundance and contentment.

You’re a card, @ForLoudBrickMember . This is easily the funniest OP I’ve seen in all my years on MN. I was sitting on my own in a public place grinning like a loon as I read it.

Its the choosing though @6ate9 , money gives you the opportunity to be as minimalist or materialistic as you choose.

You know what - I know a VERY wealthy couple. Mainly the wife as she is main earner (although husband earns 6 figures but a fraction of her income).

I said this the other day but she works so hard, like on the day of her wedding she was "finishing a project off off" in the morning and checking emails.

Her face looks twice the age it should be.

Yes yes, the house is nice (footballers estate huge, stables, land yadda yadda), their baby is looked after by a nanny and no doubt will be dispatched off to private boarding school.

But when I look at their life I feel more grateful for mine. It all looks really stressy. My male friend that married into this has changed completely too - he was so much lighter and happier before.

If I send you a bank account number, will you send some of your misery my way? TIA

You’re the one who is misinformed I’m afraid.

It should go without saying this was not from NHS wages but from investing. This is obviously not even close to the norm but it’s also not unheard of either for a medical student/foundation doc to be able to make a tonne of money through some other means.

Youngest theoretical age isn’t 35. Graduate 23, start IM residency 24, start fellowship 27, consultant 30, partner 32. This would be the quickest route.

Being breadline or worse is utterly miserable. Living affluently is far superior any day of the week. Of course it does not stop bereavents aging and sickness but money can buy you freedom and many pleasures.