Upset DIL has gone home?

[ItSmellsFishy]

I’ve had a fractured relationship with my DIL for about 5 years. We’ve booked a caravan holiday together and seem to be getting on fine.
last night she started sneezing and said she thought hayfever, by tonight she says she feels terrible, is aching from head to toe, pounding head etc. she says she might go home as it’s only an hour away and leave DS and DGC with us.

really? Why can’t she just stay in the caravan bed? She says she just wants night nurse and her home comforts.

what’s your opinion?

A caravan with a MIL with whom you don’t get along. She says she is leaving you with your son and grandkids? This sounds like a win all round to be honest and at least she tried/

Team dil here! Sounds like flu or Covid to me

My first thought would be how is she getting home safely. Is someone driving her ? Going on the train with her ?

If she is being driven home, will someone be able to do a shop, get meds in etc, then return to the holiday once she is settled in.

And in the meantime make sure the other folk and kids are doing all the handwashing, a quick spray and wipe of surfaces, just in case it is transmissible. You know, put all that covid training into action. It will be a good learning experience for the kids perhaps.

And then once all settled, make sure to take photos of the rest of the holiday to send to the patient. With get well soon messages.

And this is why MILs have been the source of comedy routines for generations. Although you seem like a shitty person generally and not just a nightmare MIL. Poor DIL. You also make me appreciate and love my darling MIL all the more.

Even a bad cold can come on extremely fast sometimes. Some years ago I started a night shift at 8pm feeling fine, a few hours later I started sneezing and then within another few hours I was barely able to stand up and was feeling terrible by the end of my 12 hour shift. It happens.

But it sounds like you don't think much of her anyway.

You very obviously don't like your DIL so why are you so bothered if she goes home? The way you speak about her makes it very clear how much you disapprove of her so I'm pretty sure that she picks up on your dislike for her.

You seem like a text-book example of a difficult MIL.

Look, maybe she is putting it on for whatever reason, but you said you’ve been getting on well recently? Also it’s a holiday with her kids she’ll be missing out on.
It’s not that strange to think a horrible virus might be hayfever at first. A PP said fluA is going around, covid is certainly going around or it could be another virus. Of course she’d rather be at home - what’s the point of her being there if she feels like crap and what’s the point in upping the chances of passing it on to you and the kids so you all feel like crap? If she feels better and it’s just a bad hayfever day, she can come back from an hour away.
If she’s lying, there’s not much you can really say or do about it.

Team dil

What a lovely caring person. Warms my heart. No doubt you'll be coming off posting vitriol on MN and organising a nice care package of lovely soups, night nurse and flowers to be delivered to the mother of your grandchildren and then making sure that those children have a fabulous few days.

You sound pleasant. I understand why she wants to go home!

Make her a cup of tea you mean old hag

#TeamDIL

I had the same last week. Fine on Monday morning but got worse rapidly and had a high temp and congestion by Tuesday morning, still dealing with a chesty cough and general malaise now even though the fever was mild and only lasted a couple of days. It’s unpleasant! I’d definitely want to be at home vs a caravan if it was an option.

Is this a reverse? Fun as you sound, why not leave her husband with his family while she recuperates?

Not in UK so I thought night nurse was a person, and was thinking hell yeah I'd go for a night nurse rather than looking after kids. I see now it is a medication. Could some be bought?

In her place I would not even leave the children with you. You sound extremely callous.

This post is a good indication of why you have a ‘fractured’ relationship.

If I read this I’d be taking my whole family home.

what an awful person you are making yourself sound.

she’s sick. Let her be sick. And yes illness can get worse very quickly.

I think she’s doing the sensible thing.

if you want to fix your relationship with DIL I’d perhaps start with fixing your attitude.

What’s the problem? If she goes home you have your son and grandkids to yourself so you can drip your poison into their ears about what a terrible mother she is.

Read your posts back. There might just be a clue as to why your relationship is “fractured”.i hope your son treats her better than you do. You sound utterly vile.

Well there you have it.

We can all see why she left!

@ItSmellsFishy the last two times I've been ill, I've gone from perfectly fine to a little sniffle (wondering if it's allergies), to feeling I was hit by a truck within a couple hours. My GP said I were discussing this once, specifically how both Covid & Influenza are known for this.

I think you see your DIL in a certain light and the challenge is, if you keep seeing her through that lens, nothing she does will be good enough/accepted as is. It will permanently fracture your relationship.

Give her the benefit of the doubt, tell her how sorry you are she's ill and remember a healthy relationship is at least in part, your responsibility too. Take that responsibility seriously. She's the mother of your grandchildren who you get to enjoy a lovely holiday with. Many many grandparents don't have that luxury!

You are a dreadful MIL

I'd say DIL is looking to get away from you, and honestly I dont blame her.

Just let her go home, keep your sly digs to yourself, and try to be someone your DIL wants to spend time with.

Maybe she's diplomatically leaving a hostile and uncomfortable environment? I feel sorry for her and I don't even know her!

So she can looking after the kids and grandma can just have fun time.

DIL can’t win, she goes and takes the kids with her and she’s taking away the grandkids; she leaves them there and the woman who clearly hates her is pissed anyway.