My wedding, AIBU?

[JustPearlLurker]

Hi there!
Long time lurker, first time poster! I am engaged and am super excited! Wedding is booked for next year and I couldnt be happier! I am a bit confused and would like to know if this is a thing and I am just out of touch. Wedding date is confirmed and it is the day of a friends husbands birthday. The friend in question has asked if I can get the people making my wedding cake to do a special cake just for his husband since it’s his big day and it will be missed otherwise by the wedding! My gut quite frankly is fuck off, he can have his special forty something birthday the day before or after our bloody wedding! Would appreciate some thoughts.
Many thanks

One of my relatives got married on my birthday. They organised a small cake to be quietly delivered to my table during the meal. It wasn't mentioned during the speeches. I thought it was a lovely thing for them to do. I wasn't expecting it and it wouldn't have crossed my mind to ask to be recognised on their special day.

CF's husband can have his cake for his birthday breakfast.

When my son and daughter in law were married it was my daughter in law's Mother's birthday. During the speeches it was announced that to celebrate the occasion she was supplying a free drink at the the bar for anyone presenting their place card. It was a very kind and generous offer. Suggest that he might like to do that!

Is this the world we live in where a friend invites you to their wedding and the immediate response is "ok but you must get my husband a birthday cake for his special day"...
Crikey. The embarrassment of a grown adult wanting to geg in and have some of the attention on them!

Going against the grain...it was one of our wedding guests birthday on our wedding day. We had a cake made for him, and I got everyone to sing happy birthday

Why would you want attention on your birthday at someone else's wedding? You said his husband, maybe your friends husband doesn't know anything though about it?

I got married on my mother-in-law's birthday and we didn't do anything at the wedding. We arranged and paid for her to get her nails done for the wedding as a little surprise, but I can't imagine any of my family or friends asking for their own cake at a wedding. I mean... they're invited to a big fancy party, that seems like a decent celebration to me!

Absolutely ridiculous 😂 I hope you laughed in her face. He is a grown man. Surely, he’s had to do stuff on his birthday before? I’m away at a conference on mine this year. Will be waking up alone in a hotel room and stuck in 8 hours of conference presentations. 🤣 I was last year as well. We celebrated the day before I left. 🤷🏻‍♀️ She can buy him a bloody cake to have in their room that night!

This wasn’t her place to ask! Was she proposing to pay for the cake too? I was a bridesmaid on one of my birthdays (as a kid) and they did arrange a cake for me and everyone sang happy birthday. At another wedding I was bridesmaid at as an adult there was two birthdays in the room and the bride arranged a bottle for each of them. It was a nice gesture but totally initiated by the couple and your friend was very rude to ask you to do this.

Jesus that's nuts. My close friend got married on my birthday (very close friend actually, I was a bridesmaid). She did acknowledge that it was my birthday when she booked it, but she really wanted a Saturday in the summer and there weren't many left, c'est la vie. I certainly didn't expect (and didn't get) a cake on her wedding day!

Christ how embarrassing ... I wonder if the DH even knows! Don't do this OP, madness 😂

It's somewhat like announcing pregnancies at weddings or engagements.

Just keep it to yourself. I love celebrating a birthday of mine.However, for somebody's wedding, I would just celebrate my birthday another day. My partner would give me my gifts in the morningpossibly or wait and keep everything until the day.We're celebrating

A wedding happens once and a birthday is every year.

That’s hilarious!! My DN got married on my birthday! Our immediate family did cards and pressies in my room before the wedding and we popped back there for cake & fizz in the break between the reception and the evening do but there is no way I would have expected any.reference to it at all at the wedding I just said thanks for giving me a great day!!

It's a no.

I think you say "hi friend, we cant accommodate that so if babyman can't defer the celebration by a day, it's best they decline and make their own separate plans celebrate his birthday. You understand entirely no hard feelings yada yada

An insane request. Please tell me they weren't expecting you to pay for it?

At our wedding it was one relatives' birthday as well as one of my friends. So we sang happy birthday towards the end of the evening before dessert. The difference is though that this was our choice, not something that was demanded by one of the guests 😅 It would never have occurred to any of us to bring in a whole separate cake just for this purpose. (Although to be fair, we also forgot to cut the wedding cake before people started leaving 😂 So maybe we're just not very cakey people!)

Surely he can have a birthday breakfast and then spend the rest of his birthday at someone else's wedding? It really isn't that big of a deal.

Thank you all for the responses! I don’t in any way wish to be a bridezilla (can’t promise I won’t 😂 ) but this utterly shocked me! They’ve had their engagement, stag dos, weddding, many moons and I thought that this our wedding could be about….. us!
it’s not a big birthday 43/44.

Thanks for the responses, was getting in my head a bit!

That's ridiculous. Not even a milestone birthday

Talk about main character attitude - the cheek of asking the bride to organise the cake!!

“Sorry Chloe we won’t be doing that. I’m sure Dave will be fine with wedding cake.”

Just tell her no, that’s completely outrageous to even ask. What a bloody cheek, get your cake maker to make him a birthday cake? Absolute insanity!

Like you’d have the time and head space to be concerned over that. She needs a reality check.
i would reply saying
1)no. Or..
2) she is more than welcome to bring a small cake and give to him in the evening but it won’t be something you can organise as it is your wedding day…ffs….

What the f, not even ‘can I bring a cake to your wedding (to hijack your special day)’, but will YOU get YOUR wedding cake people to make him a special cake, absolutely not lol, fuck right off , who are these entitled ppl

This is WILD!
My friend was best man on his 40th. He started his speech by thanking everyone for coming to his birthday, big LOL, then moved on to the actual wedding speech. Did his birthday celebration the weekend after ( and was fine with his bezzie not being there as he was on honeymoon!!!). No dramas. Tell your “friend” to FRO!

I’d reply “lol no can do, but you’re welcome to bring him a cake for your table if you want!”

Just no , that's ridiculous.

I’d do the small cupcake with a candle or have the venue do something special for his desert plate to be served at his table. I’d also be happy for it to be mentioned during the speeches or for the dj/band to make an announcement and have everyone sing happy birthday.

it seems a bit bridezilla to expect a guest’s birthday to be ignored completely.