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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think if we need to politely ask men not to rape women (or men), then we don't want such people in the UK? PART 2

698 replies

CoventryCity · 24/08/2026 11:09

'Don't rape, sexually assault or make kissing noises' at people, asylum seekers warned in guidance about living in UK

UK arrivals have been told to treat women equally, not sexually assault partners or have sex with children in a new Home Office pamphlet. As well as the guidebook, a series of posters have also been designed by the government.'

https://news.sky.com/story/asylum-seekers-warned-not-to-make-kissing-sounds-at-people-in-new-guidance-about-living-in-uk-13574744

Previous thread here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5568695-aibu-to-think-if-we-need-to-politely-ask-men-not-to-rape-women-or-men-then-we-dont-want-such-people-in-the-uk?page=40&reply=154338993&utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Page 40 | AIBU to think if we need to politely ask men not to rape women (or men), then we don't want such people in the UK? | Mumsnet

Don't rape, sexually assault or make kissing noises' at people, asylum seekers warned in guidance about living in UK UK arrivals have been told to tre...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5568695-aibu-to-think-if-we-need-to-politely-ask-men-not-to-rape-women-or-men-then-we-dont-want-such-people-in-the-uk?page=40&reply=154338993

OP posts:
Thread gallery
19
BubbleAndLeek · 25/08/2026 11:41

chirrupybird · 25/08/2026 10:59

Surely explaining UK law on; consent and rape, domestic abuse, harassment, etc, etc to people who have arrived from a totally different culture is a reasonable thing to do? Would you rather the government didn't tell them? There is the wider question of how they got here, whether they should be allowed to stay, etc, etc, but while here they need to be aware of the law and abide by it.

Would you rather they just not be here? Dangerous men from a land where women have no rights.

5MinuteArgument · 25/08/2026 11:53

Deafnotdumb · 25/08/2026 10:47

The original 1951 UN Refugee Convention had geographical and time limits. It was written with the post-war problems in mind. Those limits got removed in 1967 - before mass travel took off and smartphones were a thing - and then the ECHR codified the principle of non-refoulment (sending people back to where they came from because of credible torture threats).

In a nutshell, that's our problem. If an Afghani rapist can't be sent back, what do we do with him? And yes, we have our own homegrown rapists (and I have and do campaign for swifter justice, better courts and supporting survivors), but that does not mean we should let anyone in without cvetting. People who come the iregular route know damn well they would not get a visa any other way. The Danish data also shows that men from certain countries do commit rape at a higher per-capita head than the native population. Excluding groups that have incompatible values with ours is not rocket science - we already do it for ISIS supporters.

Ultimately, I think we need to return to a pre-1967 settlement and have geographical/time limits combined with explicit routes for economic migration, faster third country applications/processing/return and more help for the neighbouring counties of war zones. We also need to sort out the problem of visa overstayers - that group is much larger than the boats, but not so photographic, so it gets ignored.

Yes, i agree with this, but I also believe we could take a much more robust approach even within the outdated international laws. Lawyers, judges and pro-migrant charities have tied us up in legal knots so we're told we have to accept rapists, murderers and criminals and we have no choice about it.

Also I heard Germany is now deporting Afghan asylum seekers back to Afghanistan. Probably because some really ghastly crimes have been committed by Afghans and they're terrified of people voting AFD.

Nuthatch26 · 25/08/2026 11:54

I thought this might be of interest to posters on this thread. A UK journalist has done the crossing on a small boat earlier this month. He managed to save a woman on board who was being trampled.

I tricked my way on board a migrant dinghy. Here’s what I learnt

www.telegraph.co.uk/gift/4b036775bc577743

MaturingCheeseball · 25/08/2026 11:56

surreysarah · 25/08/2026 10:30

The thing that concerns me most about that article is that a number of the migrants in that centre reportedly have TB and scabies! Should we be worried about it potentially spreading into the wider community?

It has been reported that healthcare professionals in Ceuta are really alarmed at the diseases the migrants are presenting with. Diseases that have been eradicated or are very rare in Europe.

5MinuteArgument · 25/08/2026 12:01

MaturingCheeseball · 25/08/2026 11:56

It has been reported that healthcare professionals in Ceuta are really alarmed at the diseases the migrants are presenting with. Diseases that have been eradicated or are very rare in Europe.

Yes and there's loads of migrant men still left in Ceuta, they haven't 'all gone home' like the msm tells us. And they're causing problems for the local population including crime and sexual assaults.What a surprise.

MaturingCheeseball · 25/08/2026 12:11

The young Moroccan men mainly skipped off home, but the sub-Saharan men who had journeyed further are refusing to leave and demanding to go to Spain. Jet skiing is now a method of getting to the mainland.

LuckyHazelFox · 25/08/2026 12:13

The fact that they need teaching something as fundamental as consent should be a deterrent from having them here. We teach young boys this on puberty. We don't expect to be teaching grown men. The elephant in the room is their culture, which is why it's futile for some constantly saying but white men. No amount of literature is going to stop their 'needs'.

LuckyHazelFox · 25/08/2026 12:15

5MinuteArgument · 25/08/2026 12:01

Yes and there's loads of migrant men still left in Ceuta, they haven't 'all gone home' like the msm tells us. And they're causing problems for the local population including crime and sexual assaults.What a surprise.

They've put them in warehouses haven't they? Tents and warehouses in 2026, housing people who travel illegally. That's where we are at.

GunnelVallquist · 25/08/2026 12:56

NancyThompson · 25/08/2026 12:48

Unbelievable.

Ladyfromthehill · 25/08/2026 13:08

WOnder if OP is going to comment on this?
"The 2015 British Ministry of Defence poster campaign aimed to educate military personnel on sexual consent and reduce sexual offenses. Preventive education targets specific groups to set clear behavioural standards, and public reactions often depend on the context of the campaign and the demographic involved"

AIBU to think if we need to politely ask men not to rape women (or men), then we don't want such people in the UK?  PART 2
Smeuse · 25/08/2026 13:26

Nuthatch26 · 25/08/2026 11:54

I thought this might be of interest to posters on this thread. A UK journalist has done the crossing on a small boat earlier this month. He managed to save a woman on board who was being trampled.

I tricked my way on board a migrant dinghy. Here’s what I learnt

www.telegraph.co.uk/gift/4b036775bc577743

This 'journalist' is a Reform activist.

His mentor is Isabel Oakeshott, Richard Tice's partner.

Did Reform pay the fee for his crossing?

Nuthatch26 · 25/08/2026 13:36

Smeuse · 25/08/2026 13:26

This 'journalist' is a Reform activist.

His mentor is Isabel Oakeshott, Richard Tice's partner.

Did Reform pay the fee for his crossing?

No idea, ask Reform. I don't care either tbh.

EasternStandard · 25/08/2026 13:38

Smeuse · 25/08/2026 13:26

This 'journalist' is a Reform activist.

His mentor is Isabel Oakeshott, Richard Tice's partner.

Did Reform pay the fee for his crossing?

Why does that change the information? He details what happened.

Smeuse · 25/08/2026 13:48

EasternStandard · 25/08/2026 13:38

Why does that change the information? He details what happened.

Don't you think he should have mentioned that he is a Reform member? Especially as Farage is promoting this story

It is not exactly unbiased or investigative journalism.

He also has done this before in Calais migrant camp.

It's Reform propaganda.

EasternStandard · 25/08/2026 13:51

Smeuse · 25/08/2026 13:48

Don't you think he should have mentioned that he is a Reform member? Especially as Farage is promoting this story

It is not exactly unbiased or investigative journalism.

He also has done this before in Calais migrant camp.

It's Reform propaganda.

What do you feel strongly is incorrect?

He gets on a boat which is pretty nuts given the criminality of those selling spaces.

I’m surprised he managed to convince the seller that he was a legitimate payer, but maybe they’re not wary of undercover anything yet

Anyway which part strikes you as not being true?

Nuthatch26 · 25/08/2026 13:54

Smeuse · 25/08/2026 13:48

Don't you think he should have mentioned that he is a Reform member? Especially as Farage is promoting this story

It is not exactly unbiased or investigative journalism.

He also has done this before in Calais migrant camp.

It's Reform propaganda.

You obviously follow Farage much closer than I do. If other parties want to focus on this issue, they are welcome to do so.

You haven't mentioned anything in the actual article. I'm grateful that a British man was on board to help the woman.

Would you prefer it if the crossings weren't covered in the press?

JuliaBraverman · 25/08/2026 14:08

chirrupybird · 25/08/2026 10:59

Surely explaining UK law on; consent and rape, domestic abuse, harassment, etc, etc to people who have arrived from a totally different culture is a reasonable thing to do? Would you rather the government didn't tell them? There is the wider question of how they got here, whether they should be allowed to stay, etc, etc, but while here they need to be aware of the law and abide by it.

I don’t really think that these man are mindful of the law though do you? Politely asking them not to attack women and girls when they have travelled from a culture where women and girls are bottom of the pile won’t really work will it?

NancyThompson · 25/08/2026 14:21

Ladyfromthehill · 25/08/2026 13:08

WOnder if OP is going to comment on this?
"The 2015 British Ministry of Defence poster campaign aimed to educate military personnel on sexual consent and reduce sexual offenses. Preventive education targets specific groups to set clear behavioural standards, and public reactions often depend on the context of the campaign and the demographic involved"

You mean something from ten years ago and not the topic of the thread?

NancyThompson · 25/08/2026 14:22

Smeuse · 25/08/2026 13:48

Don't you think he should have mentioned that he is a Reform member? Especially as Farage is promoting this story

It is not exactly unbiased or investigative journalism.

He also has done this before in Calais migrant camp.

It's Reform propaganda.

What sources of journalism would you describe as unbiased, out of interest?

Nuthatch26 · 25/08/2026 14:22

NancyThompson · 25/08/2026 14:21

You mean something from ten years ago and not the topic of the thread?

Also, it was dealt with on the previous thread.

LuckyHazelFox · 25/08/2026 14:57

Ladyfromthehill · 25/08/2026 13:08

WOnder if OP is going to comment on this?
"The 2015 British Ministry of Defence poster campaign aimed to educate military personnel on sexual consent and reduce sexual offenses. Preventive education targets specific groups to set clear behavioural standards, and public reactions often depend on the context of the campaign and the demographic involved"

How many of those military personnel are traceable, in the case of a sexual assault?

smallglassbottle · 25/08/2026 15:01

Does anyone realise that the government doesn't actually care about what happens to the public at the hands of people entering the country? They're driven by ideology. We're merely numbers to them. They hold us in contempt.

LuckyHazelFox · 25/08/2026 15:03

So now we've got the military as the latest whataboutery subjects. You have to laugh when an old flyer comes out that targets a confined group of men in any military base. Their identity having been fully checked and filed with the MOD.

Smeuse · 25/08/2026 15:19

NancyThompson · 25/08/2026 14:22

What sources of journalism would you describe as unbiased, out of interest?

One who discloses their ties to a political party and their political intentions.