Do you agree with me or DP on this?

[Partylapaa]

DD’s birthday is second week of November. She’s going to be five so is fully aware of Santa and Christmas. We’ve been looking at venues for a party and the place we have decided on has availability the week before her birthday or the second week of October. I feel strongly that the October date is better as by mid November the venue will be very Christmassy with Christmas songs etc which I think takes away from her birthday celebration. DP thinks I’m being ridiculous but I know that he also wants the November date as he has a golf day that he wants to do the day before the October date and I highly suspect he wants to protect this weekend so he can have his hangover in peace the next day.

AIBU or do you understand where I’m coming from?!

Edited to add we will do a family celebration in November on her birthday

November. You’re overthinking this.

November. Also speaking as someone who has a December birthday, Christmas themes around your birthday are just something you get used to - it definitely doesn't detract from the day.

You choose the date closest to your daughter's actual birthday. It's nowhere near being Christmas in early to mid November so I don't understand your thinking. Even if it was during the festive season, life doesn't stop just because it's Christmas. So your husband is right, not you.

October too early

I think November too, sorry!

November, she won't associate the 2nd week in October with her birthday and neither will her friends. Or even better, find a different venue that won't be doing Christmas until December. If you are born in December, then you probably can't avoid your birthday being a bit mixed in with Christmas. November you absolutely should be able to!

I don't think there's anything wrong with an early birthday celebration but if the venue is available closer to the date AND that date doesn't clash with pre-existing plans (yes, recovering from an event the day before is an acceptable pre-existing plan) I'm not sure why you wouldn't just go for November?

One parent wanting to recover from a hangover is more important than you second-guessing the decorations. Feels like your insistence in November is to spite your husband, weirdly.

I'm your daughter in 30 years, haha! My birthday is 8 November. My sister planned my 30th weekend away a few years ago. It was a wonderful spa weekend and I was so grateful for being so spoiled, but as she was pregnant a due mid-December and understandably wanted to do it earlier so she could enjoy it. So my birthday was celebrated mid-October instead and despite the lovely time, it was a bit weird! 😅

It was nice to be celebrated at all, but I think a week either side is as much distance as I'd want to spend from my birthday or a loved one's now.

As someone with a December birthday it still hurts me that my birthday was always lumped into Christmas, even down to joint birthday/Christmas presents and parties just didn’t happen. I would have loved a party and wouldn’t have cared how anything was decorated. So I say as near to the actual date as possible. By the way I’m 61 so as you can tell I’m still haunted by this 😂