Do you agree with me or DP on this?

[Partylapaa]

DD’s birthday is second week of November. She’s going to be five so is fully aware of Santa and Christmas. We’ve been looking at venues for a party and the place we have decided on has availability the week before her birthday or the second week of October. I feel strongly that the October date is better as by mid November the venue will be very Christmassy with Christmas songs etc which I think takes away from her birthday celebration. DP thinks I’m being ridiculous but I know that he also wants the November date as he has a golf day that he wants to do the day before the October date and I highly suspect he wants to protect this weekend so he can have his hangover in peace the next day.

AIBU or do you understand where I’m coming from?!

Edited to add we will do a family celebration in November on her birthday

It's far too soon to have her party in October.

Closer to her birthday is the better option

My DD’s birthday is 18th December. We just choose a venue that isn’t Christmassy for her party and have it in December.

eta, when she wanted her party at a farm that doesn’t do parties in December, we had it at the end of September, but it was her choice and she was 6

You are mad. My DD’s birthday is also the second week of November and mine is the first week of December. That’s when our birthdays are. We don’t pretend they are in October because it’s not Christmassy in October.

Sorry Op it’s November from me. October will seem like a year ago to her by the time her actual birthday arrives.

Id go for November as the decorations will be pretty and unless they are putting up something religious I'm not sure that party decorations and Christmas decorations would be that different.

I might miss the subtleties as I have two children and a grandchild with birthdays much closer to Christmas so everything Is Christmassy for their birthdays.

Yeah, sorry OP - my DCs have their birthday in mid-November and we wouldn’t celebrate it in mid-October. Way too early.

If it helps, we use their birthday as a bit of a marker.

We do Halloween stuff in our house so we have fun with that first in October, then we celebrate DC’s birthday, and then once their birthday is over, we start looking forward to Christmas and doing Christmassy type things.

I find it works really well to break that period up.

November birthdays here too - celebrated in November! Sorry…!

November of course. Why wouldnt you?

What if she gets unwell and can’t go? What do people do then when they’ve paid for the party? This is the first one I’ve done (I know I’m stressing!)

My DDs birthday is the same time of year. I’d also go for November, it’s far enough from Christmas for me. October would be too early.

What does getting unwell have to do with the date?

I have a November birthday, have the November party.

She could get sick in October so although it would be awkward it isn't anything to do with October v November. You'd have to ask the venue what their policy is.

I’ve never heard of having a party BEFORE a birthday. It sounds a bit mad. On the birthday or the weekend after if it falls midweek, surely?

I think you are massively overthinking. A sixth of the whole population has birthdays in Nov or Dec.

I have a December baby. He gets to choose whether Christmas decs at home go up before or after his birthday. He likes celebrating his birthday near his birthday and we've always got near 100% acceptance rate from his friends.

Definitely November. She's 5, so if hou do October, j guarantee when it comes to her actual birthday and there's no party with her friends she will be sad and no matter how many times you remind her she had a lovely party in October, she will feel hard done by.

As for getting sick. Children get sick at any time. She will be fine.

Mid November is her birthday. As a person with a birthday very close to Christmas Day, it doesn't matter that the venue might have Christmas stuff up. It's still her birthday then. You make it a birthday party by doing all the birthday stuff like birthday cake, birthday presents, birthday party food etc.

October is too early. Part of the fun of a birthday is the build up and anticipation to the actual day. If you've done the party a whole month early you don't get that excitement.

We’ve got a December birthday and it’s never been an issue, nor has sickness and attendance had always been high/ everyone’s come when he’s picked a few friends when he’s grown older. I think a whole month is too early and wouldn’t really feel like her birthday. Two weeks is the earliest/ latest we’ve known parties to happen and I think you’re as likely to be ill in October as December in school, especially as we’re forecast a wet autumn and they’ll be in more.

One of ours has a mid November birthday and we always celebrated it on or close to the actual date. There was never a problem with this - no Christmas trees, decorations or Christmas songs at all.

October is too early BUT if he’s getting a peaceful hangover day (which I think is fine) you make sure you get your peaceful hangover day (or whatever an equivalent would be for you).

What’s the venue? Will they really be playing Christmas songs in November?!

anyway…. Obviously November is best

November. She’s only 5 and it’s the day that’s special for her, October is far too early and not even her birthday month.

You think your daughter will not enjoy her birthday of christmas music is playing?

October is too early. Plus October school holidays could come into play with people being away.

week before her birthday is much better

What if she is unwell in October?