Do you agree with me or DP on this?

[Partylapaa]

DD’s birthday is second week of November. She’s going to be five so is fully aware of Santa and Christmas. We’ve been looking at venues for a party and the place we have decided on has availability the week before her birthday or the second week of October. I feel strongly that the October date is better as by mid November the venue will be very Christmassy with Christmas songs etc which I think takes away from her birthday celebration. DP thinks I’m being ridiculous but I know that he also wants the November date as he has a golf day that he wants to do the day before the October date and I highly suspect he wants to protect this weekend so he can have his hangover in peace the next day.

AIBU or do you understand where I’m coming from?!

Edited to add we will do a family celebration in November on her birthday

Doing a birthday party a month before the actual birthday sounds a bit ridiculous tbh, also always thought it was bad luck to celebrate before the day?

November. Were the opposite and out the chrismtas decorations up early to make sure it’s decorated for our DC’s birthday 😂

Mid November DC here too and we always celebrate closest weekend to birthday. It wouldn't occur to me to do otherwise (DC will be 14 this year)

As an aside I have two Mid January DC too (and they aren't twins!) and we always celebrate on closest weekend/s. We did joint when they were younger but now we do separate.... and not big parties as before January payday we can't afford it!! But the DC would prefer cheaper celebrations that are close to their actual birthday/s.

I wouldn't do it a month early.
DD and DS's birthday is 1st week of December, if anything the Christmas paraphernalia adds a little more magic!

Another vote for November. The party should be as close to her birthday as possible. As for the sickness she could get sick on any date. You’ll need to check the venues cancellation policy but you’ll likely loose the money if you cancel on the morning of the party whatever date you pick.

A month before is too early imo. I don't think Christmas or the golf day is particularly relevant, but I'd have the party as close to her birthday as possible.

I have two who have birthdays in Christmas week, Christmas is part and parcel of anything they’ve ever done, it’s really not an issue. I’d say November date.

I am with DH on this November - unless your birthday is in a school holiday and you need to change the date for maximum attendance then near her birthday his fine.

October is way too early.

My birthday is 2 weeks before Christmas and I never found it too "Christmassy".

I have a birthday on the 23rd of December so really it’s at Christmas. We celebrate her birthday on that day or the weekend before. It even helps to keep the number down as I invited the whole class for her 5th birthday for example and only 13 rsvp’d to come. She had everything she was meant to have and had a perfect day and I got to save money too. She still always get Xmas presents too just like everyone else. I would pick the November date

The closest one to her birthday is correct. Otherwise is quite odd. Her birthday is near Christmas so it will always be surrounded by Christmas. Mine is in May so I always had exams, my best friends is in August so everyone was always on holiday.

It’s part of having seasons.

If her birthday was Christmas week then yes bring it forward. But it's November. I agree with your DH.

Does she need a venue ?

Sorry OP but we are talking about a birthday celebration for a five year old. What is the point in having a party a month before her birthday? That is nothing to do.with celebrating her birthday .
If the venue you have chosen is all about Halloween or Chritmas or whatever choose a different venue where your child can celebrate her birthday with her pals as near the actual date as possible

I think a whole month early is a bit ridiculous. Agree with dp. And honestly your reasoning makes you sound a bit precious 😂

November is fine. Doesn’t matter in the slightest if there is Christmassy decorations. My DDs birthday is November. Meant sometimes we had Christmas linked activities eg painting a Christmas decoration or put Xmas linked stuff into party bags eg a book. At 5, the kids will likely run around, go crazy with any balloons, sing happy birthday and half eat anything not nailed down. Really don’t sweat it x

I think a whole month before is too early, sorry.

I may be odd, but 5 year old me would have been very confused about having a party a whole month early. I’d have been thinking, “but it’s not my birthday” the whole time. A month is aaaaaaaages when you’re 5. Also, kids can be cruel and would’ve been saying, “Why are you having a party when it’s not your birthday?”, or, “I’m not getting you a present cos it’s not your birthday”. Then the actual birthday would feel weird because the party was ages ago.

I’ve always been an overthinker though 😂

October is just too far from her actual bday

Being xmassy makes it extra special all the decorations, I’m a December baby, and no yoh can’t do it a month early that’s silly and v confusing for her

It seems bonkers to me yo even think about having a party a month early.

And why is the venue the deciding factor? Surely events are a combination of the best date (weekend either side of the birthday) and price/availability?

As close as possible to her actual birthday. Five is a big one as she's at school. It also gives her a chance to choose friends from her new classmates to attend.

November

I'd go November. There could well be Halloween/autumn stuff around the earlier date, and it seems a shame to mess up your husband's plan when his choice is more respectful of when her birthday actually is.

November. Christmas decorations does not remotely take away from her birthday. People actually celebrate their birthdays all the way up to and including Christmas. It’s fine.