She should just let me be ill in peace

[mabelladel]

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and have been really unwell this week. I had tonsillitis, had barely slept for several nights and had been prescribed pain relief and medication to help me sleep. I'd also just had a pretty scary conversation with my consultant about my blood pressure and what might need to happen if it didn't come down, so I was extremely anxious and had been specifically advised to rest.

I powered through it as I was in the middle of recruiting to my team so fulfilled all the interviews and assessments and appointed the candidate. Then I mailed my manager to say I'd seen the doctor, was self-certifying and needed to rest.

She called me a quite a few times over the next few days and I've missed them because I was asleep. Some didn't answer because I was still in bed, exhausted, medicated and had virtually no voice. I'd already explained I was ill and how long I expected to be off.

I've just logged on after basically spending three days in bed and have received a pretty terse email saying I haven't followed sickness procedure because the policy says I should speak to my manager by phone.

I completely accept there is a policy, but AIBU to think some common sense/discretion should apply? If someone has told you they've seen a doctor, they're unwell and have been advised to rest, surely they don't have to prove they're physically incapable of answering a telephone before they're allowed to actually be sick?

I'm angry about it because this isn't the first difficult interaction I've had with my manager and I've always felt watched and scrutinised unduly. During the heatwave, I'd adjusted my hours to start at 7 and work til 3.30 as we don't have core hours. She started monitoring my teams status and claiming I wasn't working. It feels very officious.

Would you respond and explain the circumstances, or just leave it?

Haven't RTWT, but surely, an ill and pregnant woman deserves a little leeway, particularly if she conscientiously pushed through on an urgent project, and her BP is worrying, or even dangerous?

Surely been given medication and being pregnant, your GP should have issued you with a sick cert and once your HR dept have that, they have no business to disturb you until the last day of your sick cert?

Just apologise say you had no voice so were incapable of calling and you were out of it for three days. Then take a few more days off! She should have more sympathy.

So many people lie and take advantage/the piss that unfortunately so many employers have ended up being really strict. How often on here do people advise an OP 'just call in sick' for themselves or their child if they can't get the time off they want? It's appalling and has resulted in people like you not being given the common sense discretion that would make sense to the honest amongst us.

I recently had a very ill parent and had to take emergency leave to help them. That was fine, but when I was due to come back a colleague told me - 'just self cert with stress and take the rest of the week off''. But I wasn't too stressed to work, but a few more paid days off would have been awesome and really relaxing but I didn't need them, and actually liked being back at work. But people take so much advantage.

I once had a very embarrassing issue down below and had spent the morning being poked and prodded down there and was absolutely mortified with embarrassment and feeling ill, I couldn't face talking to anyone about it so asked my husband to call in and explain. It was just one day and once I had mentally recovered I could explain. However my boss told me off for not calling myself, saying policy is we have to call and can't get a relative to call for us.

It's shit because so many people are shit, and lie.

Would she have been worried that at 32 weeks having no contact that you were ok? Or is it just she demands a call rather than any kind of contact?

It’s safeguarding.

In my role we are asked to call in - leave a voicemail if it’s unanswered. We would follow up a voicemail with an email.

But the point is an email alone is no proof it’s you that’s called and you are safe.

We have to call in daily unless we are signed off. Again it’s safeguarding.

You don’t have to discuss work. You can say I’m off sick I’m not discussing that. However whenever I’ve been off sick and rang in o email my boss if there’s any meetings I need to cancel and emailed the people I’ve needed to cancel with.

Good greif… all this instead of just calling to say ‘hey, I’m ill with tonsillitis’… you will have high blood pressure!

They're not harassing her, ffs.

She ignored company policy, sent an e-mail instead of phoning, then went off the radar for three days instead of just answering her phone and speaking to her boss like a grown up.

I suspect if she'd rung in the first place, they'd have told her not to worry, to get well soon and to ring again at the end of the week.

Because that ship has sailed and because it has and the manager is pissed, OP needs a paper trail if this is going to be a potential issue going forwards.

But if she’d of just picked up the phone in the first place none of this would’ve happened, and if she just apologises for her error in not following company policy this will likely go away.

Why people want to make life difficult for themselves at work confuses me. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you and all that…

Given the recent RTA accidents these past couple of weeks I don't think you should be comparing your illness or situation to them.
That's poor taste on your part.

Your company has a sickness policy that protects everyone...just follow it.
Job done!