She should just let me be ill in peace

[mabelladel]

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and have been really unwell this week. I had tonsillitis, had barely slept for several nights and had been prescribed pain relief and medication to help me sleep. I'd also just had a pretty scary conversation with my consultant about my blood pressure and what might need to happen if it didn't come down, so I was extremely anxious and had been specifically advised to rest.

I powered through it as I was in the middle of recruiting to my team so fulfilled all the interviews and assessments and appointed the candidate. Then I mailed my manager to say I'd seen the doctor, was self-certifying and needed to rest.

She called me a quite a few times over the next few days and I've missed them because I was asleep. Some didn't answer because I was still in bed, exhausted, medicated and had virtually no voice. I'd already explained I was ill and how long I expected to be off.

I've just logged on after basically spending three days in bed and have received a pretty terse email saying I haven't followed sickness procedure because the policy says I should speak to my manager by phone.

I completely accept there is a policy, but AIBU to think some common sense/discretion should apply? If someone has told you they've seen a doctor, they're unwell and have been advised to rest, surely they don't have to prove they're physically incapable of answering a telephone before they're allowed to actually be sick?

I'm angry about it because this isn't the first difficult interaction I've had with my manager and I've always felt watched and scrutinised unduly. During the heatwave, I'd adjusted my hours to start at 7 and work til 3.30 as we don't have core hours. She started monitoring my teams status and claiming I wasn't working. It feels very officious.

Would you respond and explain the circumstances, or just leave it?

We're supposed to call in daily but if I speak to my boss day one, a croaked I've got tonsillitis will be out at least until the end of the week, he will use discretion and I'd text him any follow up, but you hadn't spoken to anyone at all, according to policy you're AWOL. A very brief call would've taken you less time than the email you sent, you might not have wanted to do, but neither does anyone else if they're ill.

I've had tonsillitis numerous times in my life and yet managed to make a short phone call to work. It's really not difficult, and if it's the policy then you should have done it.

I’m not sure if it is correct that work can contact you when you’re a sick? Surely that must be breaching some form of employment protection law? Agree with previous poster about contacting go for formal sign off,

also believe pregnant employees also benefit from enhanced protections in workplace.

definitely put baby first!

Sorry if I missed this or misunderstand but I'm confused if you are that sick and the guideline was to rest, why didn't the doctor sign you off? Saying the doctor said that and then that you are self certified is odd? Or would you not take certified leave so you could finish the recruitment? I'm always weary of self certified leave incase my boss thinks I'm pulling a sickie - purely my own worry, theyve never said or done anything to make me think that! 🙈🙈🙈

Ive been in the boat before where I self certified and had no voice and I still phoned them! There have been a few occasions where Ive had to email if the phonelines were down and we were told to. Honestly I've never been able to switch off until I get the reply from work to acknowledge my absence but I am a panicker about that stuff.

If the sickness policy says you need to speak to a manager daily whilst self certifying then you should have done that. This should have been covered in your induction. She kept calling you because from her point of view you were AWOL.

I mean, you informed her you were sick so I don’t see why it matters if you did it via a Phonecall or not. It’s not like you just didn’t turn up, but as you can see lots of people are very petty when it comes to rules, even if they are pointless.

Neither of that applied to you.

It sounds like you are difficult to manage and heading for a disciplinary action if you don't change course soon. Just do what you are required to do and try to build a better relationship with your manager. Things will go a lot easier for you and it sounds like you really do need to reduce your stress right now not increase it by falling out with your manager.

Hope you feel better soon and that your bp calms down a bit. I bet you can’t wait for maternity leave! Though your new manager then will be even more controlling - 24 hrs a day - but at least will give you warm cuddles and may even sometimes sleep! 💐

I can't stand pettifogging managers like that. I couldn't tell you what our policy is re sickness leave - for all I know it does say you have to call in but if one of my team says they're ill then I believe them and want them to get better. I couldn't give a shit about them phoning in; it doesn't make a blind bit of difference.

Again we have to phone in
The times I haven't been able to- having an asthma attack, with either ambulance crew or on nebs in a&e my husband will phone in on my behalf which is our policy... As normally I can say one word and need a min or two to recover. They still get funny about that....

I'm afraid @mabelladel that you sound like HARD work. Pick up the phone. Call in. Follow the policy.

You can’t compare having tonsillitis to having emergency surgery for appendicitis? It’s absolutely nowhere near the same?

The more you update the more I understand your managers stance!

I think the problem you are facing is; policy ring in and culture is; send a message. So I would be apologising and saying you thought what you did was ok given it is widely accepted…

Good advice!

You sound pretty unwell. I’m surprised your manager is taking such a hard line. Isn’t there any exception in the policy about not being in daily contact when you are too ill to do so?

People often take the piss with illness hence why most companies have a policy that employees need to call in daily unless they have a sick note. Calling when you can hardly speak would make her realise how ill you are, messaging and then ignoring her for 3 days probably makes her think you’re taking the piss and not really that ill.

So here is some sensible advice because it's not worth telling you that you should follow the rules, that ship has sailed.

Write to you manager by email and copy to HR, explain the full circumstances, not just the tonsillitis but also the high blood pressure and discussion with the Consultant and the need to rest and reduce stress levels. Explain you carried on working to finish the recruitment process even though you had been advised to rest by a medical professional.
Apologise for not calling, say that you had tonsillitis and talking was very difficult and that you missed her phone calls because you have spent the time sleeping basically. Suggest that you should have a phone call with your manager and HR to discuss:

1. your recent illness and your email notification.
2. your potential early sign off for maternity leave owing to ill health and an urgent need to hand over workload.

If she continues to berate you it can be seen as bullying. This is why you need to email and copy to HR.

Given that you are 32 weeks pregnant and still working most employers would accept that you are not going to be well at times and your manager's insistence on this phone call rather than the email is petty and micro managing.

Unless your HR department are serious dickheads I think your manager will fold. It doesn't look good having a go at a heavily pregnant woman with high blood pressure over something so genuinely insignificant.

Good luck 🤞🏼

There probably is, but given that OP only messaged once and then dropped off the radar for several days, her manager probably chose not to use that discretion.

Yabu

This sounds really sensible.

As you are pregnant she is probably on very shaky ground. Id report to your HR department.

OP didn't follow the policy in any case.

She knows policy is that she's supposed to speak to the manager but didn't do so.

So manager phoned up to have that conversation and OP hasn't answered any of their calls.

Now OP somehow feels she's hard done by and treated badly when she's not followed sickness policy and then ignored managers attempts to talk to her.

It's not that manager is trying to have daily contact, they just want one conversation because that's per policy and OP has failed to respond to several attempts.

What shaky ground would that be?

Being pregnant is not a reason not to follow company policy - OP messaged once then essentially disappeared off the radar for several days - made no further attempt to contact her employer and ignored all attempts from her manager to contact her.

OP hope you're feeling better soon. Sounds rough. To cover yourself, I'd reply ro the email so there's a paper trail. Then ring your manager, apologise and ask if you really have to ring everyday as you feel so unwell or could it be adjusted to once a week? If you have a doctor's sickness I can't see the issue. It must be up to the managers disgression and common sense I would've thought.
Try not to stress over this. That exactly what you could do without. Take care.

Many years ago, I worked for the civil service. The reason for the phone calls was explained in terms that there had been at least one incidence where somebody had actually sadly died and due to lack of a proper contact, it wasn't picked up for several days, as the staff member had no close family. We were told if we didn't ring, it might be deemed necessary for our manager to come out to our house to do a welfare check as nobody wanted such a serious thing to happen again. I think if you look at it that way, it's easier to understand that until you've seen a doctor and got a sick note, there is always a concern that you could be seriously ill at home with no help. Hence the need for daily contact.