She should just let me be ill in peace

[mabelladel]

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and have been really unwell this week. I had tonsillitis, had barely slept for several nights and had been prescribed pain relief and medication to help me sleep. I'd also just had a pretty scary conversation with my consultant about my blood pressure and what might need to happen if it didn't come down, so I was extremely anxious and had been specifically advised to rest.

I powered through it as I was in the middle of recruiting to my team so fulfilled all the interviews and assessments and appointed the candidate. Then I mailed my manager to say I'd seen the doctor, was self-certifying and needed to rest.

She called me a quite a few times over the next few days and I've missed them because I was asleep. Some didn't answer because I was still in bed, exhausted, medicated and had virtually no voice. I'd already explained I was ill and how long I expected to be off.

I've just logged on after basically spending three days in bed and have received a pretty terse email saying I haven't followed sickness procedure because the policy says I should speak to my manager by phone.

I completely accept there is a policy, but AIBU to think some common sense/discretion should apply? If someone has told you they've seen a doctor, they're unwell and have been advised to rest, surely they don't have to prove they're physically incapable of answering a telephone before they're allowed to actually be sick?

I'm angry about it because this isn't the first difficult interaction I've had with my manager and I've always felt watched and scrutinised unduly. During the heatwave, I'd adjusted my hours to start at 7 and work til 3.30 as we don't have core hours. She started monitoring my teams status and claiming I wasn't working. It feels very officious.

Would you respond and explain the circumstances, or just leave it?

No-one said OP had to ring every day.

The policy is that the employee speak to a manager.

OP didn't. She sent an email. Saying she was self-certifying sick for a few days.

Manager tried to speak to OP over the next few days. OP didn't answer.

So OP got an email from manager saying OP had not followed sickness policy. Which OP hadn't.

Even after not following the sickness policy, OP had been given the opportunity to speak to her manager as the manager had called several times over several days.

OP didn't answer any of those calls.

OP now complaining that she shouldn't have to follow policy and is being treated unfairly.

OP is unreasonable.

YABU

The sickness policy doesn't apply to you as you are pregnant. Pregnancy related illness does not affect your sickness record. There should be a separate policy for this. You should have had a risk assessment from your workplace for working whilst pregnant.

Tonsillitis isn't pregnancy related illness though....

They do have a duty of care towards you, so may have wanted to speak to you to check everything was OK.

Wrong.

Sickness policy absolutely still applies.

Sickness recording in terms of pregnancy related sickness won't apply to the number of days sick recorded.

But OP has tonsillitis which is not pregnancy-related and there is nowhere in maternity sickness protections that says pregnant people don't have to follow sickness policy which is that the employee calls the manager to say they're sick.

Nor does maternity policy for sickness say a pregnant person can breach policy and then not answer calls from the manager for days then get pissy when they quite rightly email her to say she's breached policy by a) emailing instead of calling and b) then refusing to answer calls from the manager giving her the opportunity to abide by policy and have a conversation with the manager.

OPs pregnancy is a red herring.

She acknowledges she didn't follow the policy and then didn't answer several calls from the manager giving her the opportunity to abide by the policy and instead has come up with lots of reasons why the policy shouldn't apply to her or is just stupid.

Which is something she should use a Union for, not complain that the manager should 'leave her in peace'.

So many jobsworthy people on this thread - incredible.

Eager beavers wanting to please the powers that be.

Hope you feel better soon @mabelladel - don't let the bastards grind you down!!

And in case anyone has forgotten - it's pretty scary being ill and pregnant at the same time as there are 2 people involved. And one of them isn't even born yet.

It's not that people want to please the powers that be, it's that they understand the way large organisations work and know that a staff memebr not following policy is one of the easiest ways to get rid of them, if that's what they'd like to do, for whatever reason.

It’s not being “jobs worthy” to recognise that when you’re an employee, there are rules you have to follow, regardless of how silly they might be.

Policies exist for a reason. You didn't follow it and are now kicking off that it's been pointed out.
Unless you physically cannot speak on the phone you should be doing so and it isn't for you to say whether value would have been added or not, since you point blank ignored contact with work for those days, we will never know.

That said, if you want to, you could enquire as to why you may have been treated differently if you feel you have. But it likely won't do you any favours. If you really feel strongly, that's what the grievance process is for whereby it would be looked into properly by someone who wasn't involved.

I think your manager is being a bit of a dick TBH. You emailed her to let her know the situation, as a manager I would have sent a text to my staff member acknowledging the email, telling her to rest up and take care, then would have text again on day 3 to ask how she was doing. Of course discretion can be applied in these circumstances, it’s about using common sense.

Yes, that is what I would have done when I was a manager (retired). My company would probably have sent flowers as well. I think I was very lucky with my employers reading some of these posts.

You either get it or you don’t. You don’t get it but…

I suspect they would have been more willing to use their discretion had OP bothered to follow the policy in the first place.

When I was in an accident (not RTA but similar) I had to phone each day from hospital. I was in a week with three operations in that time and I phoned every morning (to be fair I had fuck all else to do).

on the other side, when I lost my voice I texted. No point phoning if you have no voice.

If you and your consultant have concerns about blood pressure overthinking this situation isn’t going to help and certainly not an issue to go to war on. The policy says you should phone, regardless of hypotheticals you were capable of phoning / answering a call so all the “noise” you are creating and energy you are using to justify your response isn’t actually helping you. I would simply apologise, reiterate how ill you were and the concerns re your blood pressure. If there is a policy the boss needs to follow it and by e mailing you demonstrated you weren’t incapable. For your well being let it go.

yep. Just phone her up tomorrow morning and croak your apologies down the phone. Sometimes you just have to jump through the hoops. Get it done and over with. You've got more important things to worry about. But, as so helpfully pointed out upthread, keep good notes of all your interactions just in case.

you're not wrong to do so. I'm just plagued by the desire to scream from the rooftops how bloody stupid these things are. It's a pain because frankly life goes smoother when you just 'go along' with the stupidity and let it be water off a duck's back.

These kind of policies are generally such bullshit. Just being awkward for the sake of it, why can't they just take a txt for ongoing updates?

Most work related hassle is just someone on a power trip - does my fucking head in all these made up problems to "manage"!!

When I was miscarrying I still had to call until I had a fit note 😑 totally BS, but common across most companies unfortunately.

I work in HR and calling in every day when you self cert is ridiculous. If you self cert for the week then one call at the start is enough.

Agree with others that you should have followers policy. What other people do shouldn’t be your concern.

perhaps the hour change and not working on teams when you said you were caused some concern so they’re watching you?

appendicitis person may have a clear run and have spoken to them previously. Who knows. Not you business.

you were unwell yes but could have called in or left a voicemail. The calling in is like proof. They want to hear your voice and maybe ask questions.

in terms of who decide/threshold - up to the manager and circumstances and their manager’s expectations. In terms of the illness I would think if you’re conscious and able to email then you can speak. If not then consider getting a partner to call in.

I think you need to admit you’re wrong, apologise and call daily as is the policy. You maybe called for disciplinary which isn’t going to help your blood pressure.

Ringing daily is absolute nonsense. I'm shocked so many places expect this.

Ridiculous harassing op like this.

Hope you feel better soon op

It’s just easy and fair if everyone follows the polices they read and sign. A lot of managers will use discretion and if you’re a trusted employee then usually the hoops don’t have to be jumped.

it does sound like OP might have been kept an eye on though from the comment about change of hours and teams. So there could be some distrust which means they are being stricter.

It is scary being pregnant and ill: that is true.

But I do think just apologising and making a call will cause you far less stress than making this a stand-off OP.

Winners all round.

I would have phoned . Every one thinks they're the exception when they're sick.