“Stop trying to force conversation” - right to be upset?

[leahfz]

DH and me have had lots of issues over the last few months, slowly working through them. There’s been money issues, trust issues and just a lot of drama. I’ve swallowed my feelings and tried to make it work because he can never see my point of view.

Today we had a rare day of doing nothing. DH wanted to play a video game and I spent the day doing artwork. I asked if he wanted to watch a film at 5pm (after we’ve been doing our own thing for 8 hours), he said he would in a bit. At 6pm I asked again and he said I’ll come down at 7pm.

I was asking if he wanted anything to eat and then I remembered he had told me he was going to on a hike tomorrow. I asked him if he had asked his friend if he was giving him a lift. He said “yeah” and I asked where they were going. He said “I don’t know”. Then “why are you trying to force conversation?”

I left it there and made dinner and he came in asking why I was moody. I said I didn’t want to talk to him and he clearly didn’t want to talk to me. He said I should have told him I wasn’t forcing conversation? That it wasn’t a big deal and I’m ruining the day.

I said I felt like anything I said was annoying and he said that’s your own interpretation.

basically I just need to move past it and talk as normal?

Am I being u?

This sounds all very one sided.

You tiptoeing around him ‘learning to give him that space’ ,

‘Trust issues and money issues’ when you haven’t even been married a year is even more worrying. It doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to work out that he has given you cause to trust his fidelity towards you and doubt his commitment to your financial security as a couple.
At this point you should be a really tight team with both of you enjoying making each other happy and secure in your new marriage.
Sounds to me, like it’s you doing the heavy lifting while he is busy conditioning you into accepting that he does just as he pleases .. and you should not expect anything else - let alone question it.

I would seriously suggest separating.

@leahfz

Another vote for LTB.

Every reason why has already been said over and over again.

You would be wrong. Obviously.

Make sure your contraception is absolutely rock solid.

Get out now. He is showing you exactly what he thinks of you, which from what u have wrote here isn’t much. He’s fucking about with your head. Deliberately. He’s a dick, leave him.

Can I ask how old you both are, OP? I ask because your husband's attitude reminds me of a moody teenager. Wanting to spend time with your husband and have a conversation with him, is perfectly normal.

If you're already walking around on egg shells, not knowing what kind of mood he'll be in and trying to swallow down your emotions, after only a year of marriage, it doesn't bode well.

Is your husband actually bringing any happiness, joy and pleasure to your life? My opinion is that your husband has essentially checked out of the marriage. If the answer to my above question is No, then end the marriage. Life is too short to be stuck in a miserable marriage.

We very occasionally have conversations like this but we've been together 49 years. Dh is decorating atm and told me about something he wanted to make so I asked where we should put it as we are limited for space, no issues and then later I just said oh I've had a thought if we move this to there it might fit. Well apparently I've been going on about this all day which is untrue as I was out until 2.30. Anyway I asked him if being a cunt was mandatory and to let me know what I could talk about. He apologised and we are fine . I am not spending my later years pussyfooting around a fragile grumpy twat and you shouldn't waste your life doing that.

Divorce. Don't waste any more years hoping it will get better. It won't.

This! Run for the hills before you waste your life on this bell-end!

I think it's him not cut out for marriage OP.

I think you have been perfectly reasonable. It is actually quite normal to have that sort of conversation - and quite rude to slap it down.

You will know the bigger picture better than we can, but as an outsider, my snapshot impression is that he might have not wanted you to ask about that hike as he is trying to shut you out of the picture and put distance between you both.

I can't stand it when MN immediately announce there must be another woman - but, is it possible?

it seems he doesn’t really want to spend any time with me.

It seems that way to me too OP. That's the way you talk to someone you want to be free of. I'm sorry.

OP’s husband doesn’t seem the type to have another woman - but I wouldn’t rule out AI pornbots

He may not be cut out for marriage but you sound just fine 💐

I hadn't even thought of that 😧