AIBU to get sick of DH strop

[Fizzyrosie]

Currently sat in a cramped roof of a campervan questioning AIBU. DH and Dd completed a long distance walk yesterday which is amazing! So proud of them. Was so pleased when they'd finished and had booked a meal at the "official" hotel at the finish but I managed to get the time of the booking wrong so we turned up at 6.30pm not 6pm so they couldn't fit us in.

After a long stint in the campervan there was half a bag of pasta and a few cereal bars left. DH was soooooo annoyed and went in an uncooperative, uncommunicative strop worthy of the moodiest teen. After much stressing I managed to get into us into an Indian place in the next town. I know I haven't walked the whole way. But they've had this amazing experience together. And I've been their sherpa. Sorting brekkie, a pack up and tea everyday., finding campervan places, packing and unpacking the fecking van, doing the washing / tidying up and driving the damn thing around the tiny roads to the next meet up place. I stink as been wearing the same clothes all week. Had to make an emergency trip to Sainsbury's for clean knickers. Spending 6 hours a day on my own trying to find something interesting to do en route that doesn't cost too much with a dog. I've seen more ruins than I know what to do with. Sat in homely little cafes nursing a coffee whilst people come and go with their loved ones. I know some people like being on their own and would find it quite nice but it's been a rubbish holiday for me as I end up feeling like I'm going doolally if I spend too much time on my own. I ended up taking to the dog and Jeremy vine. Even considered ringing in one day. And then to have the last night effectively ruined. Yes I did get the wrong time for the booking but it's one little mistake as I'd read the spreadsheet we have for all booking wrong on my phone. So AIBU to feel aggrieved by his moody strop?

No need for him to behave like a petulant child when OP has bent over backwards for them.

Leave them to it next time.

How far did they walk each day/in total and on what sort of terrain?

No, next time it can be you doing something with your daughter and him running about supporting you !

I think you are in quite a different income bracket to the majority of the population.

@Fizzyrosie ive been where you are now.
You organise yourself so that your dc has a great time and it means you carry all the ‘mum’s duties’ and then you’re left to wait having nothing to do but all the responsibility to sort everything out for others.
Even down to not raking that many/enough clothes because ‘they’ needed space for their stuff.

By experience, no one is going to thank you for the work you’re doing.
And no one is going to remember you were there either
Because all the focus is on ‘The Walk’.

I would leave your dh sulk.

Then have a word with your dh and remind him of all the stuff you did for him whilst you were the waiting on your own for most of the hols. And that a bit of appreciation would have been good.

I would also refuse to go away with them on a walking hols again.
Let them go together. Let your dh do all the organisation, food shopping etc…
And then you’re left to go away on your own with your dd to do something you’ll both enjoy. And your dh can look after the dog.

I doubt that this man would be happy to do the supporting role and then soend the day in his own getting bored.

'Deep down I know my Dd and DH really do appreciate it.'

Really? Because I think your DH is a spoilt child who needs to grow up and appreciate the world doesn't revolve around him.

What makes you say that? Do you know him?

Because
1- he is acting like a petulant child for a mistake
2- at no point has the OP mentioned that they did things together as a family but rather that she was only there as ‘Sherpa’. I doubt that someone who didn’t think ‘oh that’s going to be a shit week for my dwife’ is going to willingly put themselves in that very position.

Tough 🙄

as it turns out his partner wasn’t that happy either !

This.

In a pretty unique situation where he would likely be very tired, sore and very hungry he got a bit moody at a mistake. Yes, taken as a whole that was an unreasonable reaction but nobody is always calm, reasonable and non-reactionary in every situation. Humans sometimes make mistakes in how they react to situations, just as humans can make mistakes in restaurant bookings.

To take a single poor reaction to an unusual scenario and invent an entire character assassination around that is also a mistake.

I think most people would have had moody strop about dinner plans being ruined.

Your DH is a miserable arse for not appreciating your support over the last week.

I'd get on the next train home and leave them to it.

P. S. And never offer this level of support again, if he is likely to strop about a single mistake instead of thanking you for the stuff you got right.

And he does what????

You are not his mother!

And most people would also forget all the help they’ve received on that same day? All the support etc….

Youre just proving that the OP should refuse to ever go away with him on a ‘walking hols’ where her only role is to be there as support (and to be told off for making a mistake)

It's called 'Hanger' and I think you need to let it go. An understandable reaction given the circumstances, just as your mistake was also understandable.
PS Get some sort of portable shower to use when campervanning, it will help you feel better if you do any future trips like this.

I’ve done MANY walking hols. Heck my honey moon was a walking holiday!
And so did my dh and my two dcs

No one has ever behave that way over a mistake over booking a restaurant. Despite being tired, achy and all the rest of it.
No one has been moody because of a walk.

As for ‘very hungry’, you eat a bar of cereal. You take energy gels. That’s pretty basic. You dint want to be hypoglycaemic in the middle of a walk. So why would you allow it to happen as soon as you’re back to the campsite?

I hate "hangry" as an expression. It's just an excuse to be an arsehole and take out ill-humour on family members.

It's not OK to be a pissy little bastard because you haven't eaten.

"Hangry" is an annoying portmanteau but it is useful with some children and young people. My daughter (autistic) has very little sense of hunger and you can see her mood degenerate along with her blood sugar.

No excuse for adults though. They should have some Trek bars or whatever in case of emergency!

🥺😥

Responses on this thread are typically mumsnet 🙄 yanbu @Fizzyrosie people make mistakes and you sorted it, your husband's behaviour is out of order.

Fine to pull him up on it. You're only being a martyr if you think his mammoth strop is acceptable.

Do you know where it was? Because some treks are in fairly remote places with not a lot to do on the way except walks and looking at scenery. West Highland Way used to be like that. Not sure now but Apart from Tyndrum and Kinlochleven, there was a lot of nothing but a few small hotels in between ..nothing being stunning scenery but no beach or spa, pottery workshops etc