AIBU to get sick of DH strop

[Fizzyrosie]

Currently sat in a cramped roof of a campervan questioning AIBU. DH and Dd completed a long distance walk yesterday which is amazing! So proud of them. Was so pleased when they'd finished and had booked a meal at the "official" hotel at the finish but I managed to get the time of the booking wrong so we turned up at 6.30pm not 6pm so they couldn't fit us in.

After a long stint in the campervan there was half a bag of pasta and a few cereal bars left. DH was soooooo annoyed and went in an uncooperative, uncommunicative strop worthy of the moodiest teen. After much stressing I managed to get into us into an Indian place in the next town. I know I haven't walked the whole way. But they've had this amazing experience together. And I've been their sherpa. Sorting brekkie, a pack up and tea everyday., finding campervan places, packing and unpacking the fecking van, doing the washing / tidying up and driving the damn thing around the tiny roads to the next meet up place. I stink as been wearing the same clothes all week. Had to make an emergency trip to Sainsbury's for clean knickers. Spending 6 hours a day on my own trying to find something interesting to do en route that doesn't cost too much with a dog. I've seen more ruins than I know what to do with. Sat in homely little cafes nursing a coffee whilst people come and go with their loved ones. I know some people like being on their own and would find it quite nice but it's been a rubbish holiday for me as I end up feeling like I'm going doolally if I spend too much time on my own. I ended up taking to the dog and Jeremy vine. Even considered ringing in one day. And then to have the last night effectively ruined. Yes I did get the wrong time for the booking but it's one little mistake as I'd read the spreadsheet we have for all booking wrong on my phone. So AIBU to feel aggrieved by his moody strop?

Good on you for being their support person, but why have you been wearing the same clothes all week? I don't understand. I would cut him a bit of slack until he's had a decent meal and a good night's sleep and then talk it over.

Tell him what you've just told us and to show sone appreciation.

Ok not exactly the same clothes but same couple of t shirts, one pair of leggings and jeans and one jumper. Did have another but managed to get it dirty at the start. I had to pack very light as they needed all the room their clothes in the camper van.

Why didn't pack enough clothes or knickers?? Are you usually this scatty? Your DH is probably a bit knackered and fed up after his hike. Leave him be for a bit

In the 6 hours a day you couid have found time to put some clean clothes on, and find somewhere for a shower - no need to stink.

…and yes I would be pissed off about the me time being wrong, then agsin I would have checked it myself.

I did pack enough but had to give mine to Dd as she's had her period and went through more pairs than expected. Yes he is knackered but my lovely teen is just as knackered and wasn't an arse.

I can see both sides tbh. After a long day walking he was probably starving and really looking forward to a good meal and celebration with the other walkers.

At the same time you've put in a lot of effort to allow him to do this so I can see why you're feeling annoyed as well.

Is this the kind of thing you can have a productive chat with him about after everyone's calmed down?

Gosh after all your support this week he sulks at you for one mistake? He is out of order. I would not be doing this for him ever again. Sulking like this is a most unattractive trait, I was a bit like this as a teen until i realised that only arses behave like this. He has no excuse and should have appreciated your efforts .

Ok this has gone down a hygiene route. I don't actually stink. I just feel camping-grubby. Yes I've showered wherever I can but some of the places we've stopped haven't had showers and I've had to do with wet wipes. I just mean it hasn't been a bed of roses for me...

Oh no that was a shame. I feel for you OP. He's so focused on them and their achievement that he's taken your input for granted. He should be more gracious about the mix up.

Is he often a moody git? If not I’d cut him some slack, if he is I’d be pissed off!

Martyring yourself a bit! You could have packed extra bits or maybe looked at doggy daycare for a few hours some days? Or pickup collection of groceries/clothes. Tied the dog up outside shops, left in caravan a few hours after a big walk???
You could've showered at gyms with a day pass. Even some service stations have them. Or a lovely spa 😍 or hotel pool.

I would be annoyed about missing the reservation too but he's BU to be punishing you. Perhaps in future they can share the load and use their own phones for booking and checking their reservations etc
Why didn't anyone think to check as soon as they'd finished?

And you should have tried to pick along route for stuff you like, shopping, spa day, beach, pottery workshops, eating at different cafés, new books.
Next time maybe book dog into kennels for the week as it's quite hard to do those things with him.

If I understand correctly you knew it wasn’t a holiday per se? Your job was to support them on their hike so I’m not sure why you thought things would be any different? He was obviously knackered and sore so I would cut him some slack and move on.

And you should have tried to pick along route for stuff you like, shopping, spa day, beach, pottery workshops, eating at different cafés, new books.Next time maybe book dog into kennels for the week as it's quite hard to do those things with him.

She was trying to do free / cheap things.

If you don't shout about what you're doing to facilitate and make them sick up the slack they will just take you for granted! So if he carries on maybe explain all you've done for them and tell him to piss off. And take yourself off somewhere lovely!

Did you need to go along too? Sounds like it was a dad and daughter event, so maybe I would have left them to have this time doing the walk and then celebrated when they got home.

Have they said thank you at all for the support you've given ?

That'll be why it was so miserable then 😅 She should have been able to do a few really nice things otherwise it's nothing in it for her and they'll think she doesn't need to do anything/doesn't mind just disappearing and not being thought of until her services are needed!

Ahh that's a real shame about the booking BUT if he was really bothered, he could have checked himself.

Don't martyr yourself, next time let them pay someone to be sherpa.

Yes as otherwise it would have been much harder for them to do the walk. They did do the first bit themselves.

Then I guess you need to remind them of your role or if they decide to do something like this again then step back from it and say they need to join an organised group.

Yes knew what I was getting myself in for. And was happy to do it. I guess I just didn't expect to be raked over the coals for one mistake after cheerfully doing my job for the whole week.

Poor you. Life in a camper van is very cramped especially with three people. That is stress in itself and then add in a dog. You deserve a medal - all of you. I think he is stroppy because he is tired, was likely spending the walk keeping an eye on the teen and possibly realising that he isn’t as young and fit as he used to be. He does know you’ve been doing a lot of the heavy lifting and perhaps feels a bit guilty at that but good old wifie, she always comes up trumps and then you didn’t. I think mix in tiredness, cortisol, general aches and pains then he was a grump. He shouldn’t have been and it is deeply unfair on you. He thinks that you have had a holiday. You haven’t. I also do the quiet seething - got a PHd in quiet seething! My husband too, is an absolutely lovely man but will blithely carry on with events he commits to do with little realisation on the impact on me. Don’t be me and I think when the time is right, and that may not be today, have a quiet word and also book yourself a spa or whatever break just for you for a couple of nights. I get the campervan hygene thing. Unless you are in a fab touring park - and there are many with super facilities, keeping clean using communal facilities, some with 20p coinage or push button showers and damp floors, always leaves one feeling a bit ragged.

I would say though, that my lovely, slightly oblivious husband would not have gone in a strop for a mistake like that.

Hopefully the reaction from dh was just disappointment and overwhelm after such a big achievement.

I remember nearly crying once when we had done a huge 4 day hike/camp, with the promise of a pub tea at the end, but the pub being shut when we got there. I'd found the walk challenging and that was a focus for the end and I struggled with the anticlimax of the change of plan

Stropping and sulking is never a good look, for a child or an adult! But if thats not a usual reaction from him, I'd try and move on this morning. The three of you need to shift the focus on how well the actual long distance walk went