Neighbour inviting themselves in to AirBNB we're staying at?!

[GreensAreGoodForYou]

We are staying at an AirBNB in France. A few days ago, a male neighbour (relevant as we are women/girls) just appeared, came through the garden gate without shouting hello or anything, and suddenly was standing next to me (I was relaxing in a lounger). His breath smelled of alcohol. He asked me if I was there alone, then asked if I had children with me. My French is rubbish so I tried to avoid answering, then was boring enough that he left. I only found out who he was after asking another neighbour, who assured me he's just nosy/interested in new people.

Then a few days later he appeared with his young daughter and tried to come in (pointed past me and started to move towards the door opening, where he could see my two teens). I said no, and waffled on about them being busy. (Quite proud of myself for saying no, I am such a people pleaser usually that I find it hard to say no when I know it's the right thing!)

So my question is – is it normal in any culture to just appear at someone's door and invite yourself in? When the people staying in the house don't live there? (Or even if they live there!) Wouldn't it be more friendly/normal to INVITE someone over if you wanted your kid to meet someone else's kids?

I suppose I'm just looking for soothing answers, lots of YANBU, telling me I wasn't outrageously rude and that my response was perfectly natural, and that this neighbour won't have it in for us now and do something awful!

Changed a few details in case this is outing.

Have you told the Airbnb host

Contact the air BnB host asap.

Not normal at all. Call the owner.

What everyone above said.

I hope this doesn't spoil your holiday.

Yes, they said just to ignore him and it's fine to just say no/go away. Don't know if this is relevant but it's very low-priced, not fancy at all. I just find it SO ODD. Who does that? Could it be a French rural thing maybe? That you just drop in? I feel like such a 'cold unfriendly English person' even though I know I would've felt so uncomfortable letting them inside.

If the host seems to think a stranger making you uncomfortable is a trivial matter I’d be reflecting that in my review - if for no other reason than to warn other female travellers

Contact the host and tell them that there was no mention in the booking details of a weird man who wants to join in on the holiday and this being the case you want him to be told to sling his hook pronto!

Say no. Absolutely not.

We had a house rural France for a while. This is not normal or ‘cultural’.

That actually makes me feel better. I was worried it might be considered perfectly normal!

Tell the owner. Not normal. Can you lock the gate. Keep door locked

Report this above the host to Airbnb directly

Asking if you're there alone and if you have kids with you is VERY creepy. Coupled with him reeking of alcohol and walking into the garden I'd be very uncomfortable.

Airbnb host seems rather shit tbh.
Id be warning other travellers when you leave a review.

Keep doors locked op.

Barging in on someone is not part of French culture. They have very similar etiquette to ours. Even if you were somewhere where this was culturally the norm, you wouldn’t have to go along with it for cultural reasons.

Report to air bnb host. I would also cover this in my review to warn other women about this.

Next time he tries dial 112. This is a European wide emergency number and will contact you to an operator who speaks English. A visit from the local police may stop the guy.

I live in rural France and no, this is not a thing.

Tell the host it's ruining your stay and making you feel unsafe

I work in holiday rentals in Europe and this is definitely not normal. Say no firmly and make sure you lock all doors & windows. If someone knocked at my door (at home or on holiday) and I wasn’t expecting someone, I wouldn't open it. I’m not trying to scare you, it’s more likely to be innocent but you can’t be too careful, people do pry on holidaymakers as they are relaxed and let their guard down.

The closest, direct French equivalent of “fuck off” is va te faire foutre. This is the standard, widely‑understood, very vulgar way to tell someone to get lost.

Tell him if he walks in again to go away and you will be calling the police! And follow up with the police!!! They will take it seriously. Even if he doesn’t speak English he will understand the word police!!!

This would make me so uncomfortable I would want to leave.

I don’t think the hosts “just ignore him” response is good enough either.

Another one who lived in rural France. Never ever had anything like this, nor did any of my friends. Totally weird.

'Allez vous en' would be better, and less aggressive. Or 'foutez le camp'.

OP needs to use 'vous', even when telling a stranger to fuck off.

That’s so useful, thanks!

I made sure everything was locked and managed to sleep ok. We leave soon which I’m glad about! Have rehearsed the firm ‘bugger off’ phrase in case I need it. Useful to know! Thanks all!

Even if you have no more contact with the man, let Air BnB know what has happened.

If visiting France is something you do regularly, maybe worth learning more of the language. One of the reasons I advocate someone who moves to another country learning the local language is so they can seek help if needed- just as I expect anyone coming to this country to learn English, a so-called expat in Spain should be able to speak Spanish, for example.