To think joining the Freemasons could maybe be beneficial for some young men?

[Jane379]

I've been thinking recently about the decline in mental health and friendships among young men on average and it occurred to me that third spaces have decreased, especially in some areas, but one that does remain, and has a long and apparently successful history, is the Freemasons.
I don't know much about them but I read an article in a history magazine recently which argued they're often seen in terms of secret networks etc but are generally beneficial and promote male friendship, mentoring, charity work and decrease polarisation through taking politics and religion off the table. If this is true, it sounds positive and potentially beneficial.

AIBU?

For every charitable act and deed, there exists a very dark side to Freemasonry that has allowed criminals to escape justice and corruption in some areas - particularly local government - to thrive.

It's extremely weird OP, with funny handshakes and little aprons.

My grandfather was a freemason in the 80s and early 90s. He was also a very good man. Not sure why he left, it wasnt something he ever really spoke about. Therefore I am left to assume that what goes on is exactly like when Homer Simpson joins the Stonecutters.

This. Some of the most disgusting (sexual, misogynistic) comments I've ever received were from members at a Freemasons event that 'friends' were invited to - ex's boss was one and was trying to recruit him - said boss and his wife later turned out to be pretty corrupt, and all of this behaviour seemed to be excused.

Anyone can find out about it, there is a free public museum at the Grand Masonic Lodge on Great Queen Street.

I went in there once: it was simultaneously rather dull (just old Masonic paraphernalia) and very eye-opening!

But strangely I have never become aware that anyone is a member and I run in the kind of circles where you would imagine that people might be interested.

Personally I think Rotary is a better option for men. You get the social aspect and the charity side (their work around the polio vaccine is impressive) without the secrecy and bizarre rituals.

My husband is a Mason. It’s a good organisation. It costs around £150 yearly to join. They give loads of money to charities and also look after their own. For example if my husband died and I was short of money, they would help me until I was back on my feet. Or if a member lost his job and couldn’t cope financially the would help. They also support mentally.

Whilst agreeing with the issues around mental health for young men, this is not the answer. There are other social activities.

Not 'weird' at all.
The Mason were originally tradesmen and the aprons worn by stonemasons were practical garments designed to shield their clothing from the the dust, grime, and wear and tear that came with building work. Unlike the ceremonial aprons donned by modern Freemasons, these early aprons were fashioned from leather and extended from the wearer's chest to the ankles to provide full coverage and would probably have been supported by laces around the neck as well as the waist. There would have also been no ornamentation on an operative Freemason’s apron, and this helped distinguish him from other tradespeople who would have worn different styles of apron.

On a different note, I am starting up my own business and have become more interested in business/social networking. But it’s a question of where to put my time and subscription! Does anyone have any views or knowledge of:

BNI
University Women’s Club
RSA
Federation of Small Businesses
British Library entrepreneurship events
City Livery Companies
Local geographical business networking organisations
Other membership clubs or organisations?

Ideally in or near London, thanks.

A local Freemason Lodge held an open day recently which although I think the bottom line was to increase members it was interesting, we could take photos and ask questions and the members were accommodating.

The history, architecture and artefacts inside the building were fascinating. Most of the values aligned with my own like the voluntary work but God wasn't mentioned just believing in a higher being. I don't believe in a higher being so obviously not for me.

They not only look out for their own but do a lot for the community. As they don't blow their own trumpets the wider public don't know of the good they do.

Regarding some comments about looking out for the members who commit crimes, they advised during the Q&A session that they take a very dim view of criminal activities and will ask them to leave in the first instance. They advised they have "excommunicated" people in the past if they don't go quietly.

There's the R.A.O.B. (Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffalo's),aka Buffs. My socialist, working class, atheist uncle was one & called them the poor man's Masons, much more egalitarian. Definitely a lovely man. My Bil was quite a high ranking Freemason and a sexist tosser who hated Catholics. My accountant was one at the Grand lodge. He was ex military & I believe some of the Royals were at his lodge. It sounded a bit sinister and he looked down on so-called 'lower ranking masons' but they also did philanthropic work, he was helping a single mum to get on her feet with housing, benefits and other things. Someone else I knew who was nominally a mason but never went to meetings etc said it was absolutely boring and full of silly old men.

If I met a man who was a Freemason I would avoid. It’s weird and culty, plus it costs a fortune and their partners are wheeled out for a million social occasions to stand next to them and be nice. No thanks.

I have a friend who is in the organization, and (perhaps unusually) posts a lot about it on social media, in the spirit of demystifying it, etc. That's all fine, and they seem to do a lot of good things for the community. But they are all rather 'moneyed', the 'higher being' thing is very much a thing, and there's a lot of awarding each other medals and other self-congratulatory stuff that kind of makes me vom 🤢

Searched for step grandfather on Ancestry Freemason search. He’s not there but only his death certificate with DOB and name is listed on ancestry so far to search! And my mum has any marriage certificate.

What an organisation says and what they do can be very different things though.

My father was a mason from the age of 25.

I was removed from my parents because of violence and neglect in the home. My brother still to this day has a scar from my father holding the iron on him as a punishment. He was in prison at least 4 times that I’m aware of, all for violent crimes. I believe his last prison stint was in his late 50s.

He died a highly regarded member of his lodge and there was lot of masons at his funeral talking about how wonderful he was.

BNI are worth it- but you do have to put the effort in. ‘Givers gain’ is their philosophy

Yes, I mean I don't think wearing funny costumes & handshakes is an issue. A lot of pps' other posts make it sound worrying though. I expect the ritual aspect is part of the draw for some members for various reasons: humans are wired to like ritual.

You are right. It is unfortunate that many organisations that used to offer friendship without alcohol, gambling etc are not available to join like they once were.
Churches were more full.
Dry social options are regarded as fuddy duddy now.

Even the local Town Hall dances were a way to meet and form friendships.

Sporting clubs offer social connection but you need to be able to pay membership, afford the time and commitment and be young and physically able.

Maybe suggest your young men search to join walking groups, bird watching, mens sheds, model aeroplanes, trains, choirs, Lions Club etc. The very obvious churches and halls inviting socialisation still do exist too.

And that sums it up..I went five times as a 21yr old.nope wasn't for me.

It really is a valuable organisation to join my former son-in-law belongs to it and my daughter is a member of the OES.
He has had so many job opportunities because of it

Hopefully just informed of vacancies - aren't we trying to get rid of the jobs for the boys, old school tie, masonic route of employment

You definitely don't. My dad was a freemason and he was very much an atheist.