To think joining the Freemasons could maybe be beneficial for some young men?

[Jane379]

I've been thinking recently about the decline in mental health and friendships among young men on average and it occurred to me that third spaces have decreased, especially in some areas, but one that does remain, and has a long and apparently successful history, is the Freemasons.
I don't know much about them but I read an article in a history magazine recently which argued they're often seen in terms of secret networks etc but are generally beneficial and promote male friendship, mentoring, charity work and decrease polarisation through taking politics and religion off the table. If this is true, it sounds positive and potentially beneficial.

AIBU?

My son got in as he was a police officer at the time

And why would that help someone get in? Think about it... It's not evil. It isn't alruistic either

It’s a boy’s club where they all look out for (cover) each other. There’s a reason why every police officer in the MPS has to declare it now….

I can second this!

I waitressed (silver service) at a Mason "ladies night dinner" and can third that many of the men were wankers. Who don't tip.

I prefer my son (and daughter, for that matter
) to join groups which welcome both sexes equally (he's presumably too young to join this one, anyway), as people who join segregated groups sometimes have an attitude about the opposite sex.
If this group isn't sexist, fair enough, but it used to have a rep as classist (maybe not the right term, but as in its member gained unfair advantages at work) and sexist, if that isn't the case, then ok.

Round table and Lions Clubs are just as good and not as expensive in the socialising aspect. Love the Lions Santa lorry that did the rounds every Christmas near us.

They can.

Where I am from that organisation has rather negative sectarian connotations, I think a different sort of group might be better.

They do an intiation type ceremony with a dagger and a special apron.

And there's a lot of social events which seem to revolve around fundraising and drinking.

Not too sure about what else happens, it's all very secretive, but I get the impression when the men retire to their quarters, as it were, it's just the usual chatter

I could be wrong though, and no doubt there is some immoral behaviour going on in some groups!

No, no and no.

An organisation of pathetic, arrogant, delusional little men scratching each others backs and hiding self serving borderline (and sometimes blatant) corruption behind a thin veneer of “charity work” and “self development”.

They still have “ladies nights” in the manner of a 70s golf club.

Why don't men set up a Men's Institute if the need is there?

My oh is always being invited but isn’t interested

When we were in our 30s, we moved to a new part of the UK. DH knew no one, except my cousin, who invited him to join Round Table, which was a world wide organisation for men (at that time) which gave him somewhere to go every fortnight, met 40 odd blokes, some of whom he is still friends with 40 years later. It also gave us both a really good social life, with dances, parties, sports events, all sorts. They also raised money and got involved with local charities and other organisations. In those days, you had to leave when you reached 40, so he joined Rotary, which is a bit more subdued, but again a great organisation for friendship, social life and helping others- we are contemplating a trip to India with them next year to help with polio vaccinations. There are loads of similar organisations, unfortunately they have gone out of fashion, membership is falling, and they will probably not exist in a few years. In Rotary's constitution it states no religion or politics. Pity they are all fading away.

I work in a very male dominated industry. It’s hard for women to get ahead, you really have to prove yourself over some very mediocre men. There are many masons, it’s very cloak and dagger. I’ve had my eyes opened recently to the extent of it and I find it worrying. It’s an old boys network and I wonder if you had a female child if you would think the same way. I am all for social clubs, creating a safe space for people, but when people are being promoted not due to their knowledge or experience and on some occasions getting away with things they shouldn’t and getting people work when they’re don’t deserve it (contractors, etc., when they’re not the best, or the cheapest), then I am very much against it.

One of my family members was a mason and he was the loveliest man ever and didn’t abuse it, but I know he definitely benefited from it in terms of work, when a non-mason who was more qualified didn’t. He didn’t participate towards the end and spent more time helping his local charity club as he realised how conflicted he felt seeing me (two generations below) who was a female in a similar industry and not being given the same opportunities.

Agreed about the other groups for men. Even just getting involved in an informal group say U3A if older plus lions, roundtable, helping with scouts (the leaders from our group meet up every two to three weeks to discuss planning but it is quite a social event)

May be apocryphal, I hope it’s true. A colleague claims he was told he just needed to affirm belief in a ‘supreme being’

He was good with that, as he considers himself to be a supreme being.

All good.

But pps have said that you need to believe in a Supreme Being to be able to join. And googling, that seems correct.

These sound good, and without the extra baggage of Freemasonry re secrecy etc. I hope they don't fade away.

Yes, I think there used to be an adult version of Scouts too, also doing activities? Trail something? Not sure if there still is.

Thanks for the info, this is disturbing. Definitely it seems they are not as positive as I'd initially thought they sounded.

Can I ask what industry this is? It sounds awful being disadvantaged due to this kind of Freemasonry-linked secret dealing.

I know the Freemasons do have women's branches but from what I've read they do not have the same powers as the men's branches. And even without the gender element, people should not be disadvantaged for not belonging to this group.

Well, that's one way of getting around that...!

We won't know because they aren't forthcoming and you have to be invited.

My DF was a Mason for several years. He used to call it Boy Scouts and would make fun of all the rituals. He joined largely because it was said to be helpful career-wise. But he must have put on a good enough front, since he was promoted to some position/step up in the hierarchy.

Scout network usually 18-25 it is a little less formally organised than the rest of the sections. The vast majority would be scouts that have come up through the groups

Are you a Freemason @Jane379 ? Or is it just for men in your area? What is your personal connection?