To think joining the Freemasons could maybe be beneficial for some young men?

[Jane379]

I've been thinking recently about the decline in mental health and friendships among young men on average and it occurred to me that third spaces have decreased, especially in some areas, but one that does remain, and has a long and apparently successful history, is the Freemasons.
I don't know much about them but I read an article in a history magazine recently which argued they're often seen in terms of secret networks etc but are generally beneficial and promote male friendship, mentoring, charity work and decrease polarisation through taking politics and religion off the table. If this is true, it sounds positive and potentially beneficial.

AIBU?

I'm not sure privileged men need any encouragement to meet up with other privileged men to do secret things to cover each others butts and feather each others nests tbh.
The men who are most in need of support in our society are often those most likely to be rejected by other men on account of their 'failure'. The socially awkward, the mentally unwell, the impoverished, the lonely. Such is toxic masculinity that values only male success and despises its weakness or vulnerability.

And you know all this because?

My great uncle was a business man and in the Masons. They gave loads of money to widows with children to support them through hard times put them through school/uni and other people in genuine need.

Don't knock what you know nothing about.

I used to be very sceptical about the Freemasons, I didn’t like the idea and felt it perpetuated (male) privilege, and I’d heard concerning first hand stories about the negative impacts on justice and fairness.

However I recently had dinner with two Freemasons, including the Master (not sure if this is correct term) of a lodge and another member. I gave them a reasonable push on it and what came back surprised me, it was friendship, support, company and charitable work. The head/ Master of the lodge was young, not British by birth and he had suffered quite some adversity in his life. He is now successful and wants to support others. The lodge is linked to a charitable institution that helped him and others. They are very open to new members and it didn’t seem closed or secretive.

This leads me to conclude that some Freemasons are honourable and hardworking folk who want to help others. Of course, as with all societies and groups, there must be others who aren’t so well meaning. But from what I’ve seen then good can be very positive.

Of course they can 'join', but joining means becoming a member.

Charitable groups like Roundtable do all the positive stuff you mention without the issues that the Freemasons are seen to have. It’s aimed at men aged 18-45.

I wouldn't argue that young people joining organisations and gaining a sense of community and belonging is a good idea.

The freemasons though? Fuck, no.

nope its not god but more of a supreme being or a creator type being and not god in the traditional bible sense

My ex was one. He was an absolute wanker. I went to some of the ‘ladies nights’ with him, and discovered that all the others there were absolute wankers too.

Absolutely. Give them a wide berth and seek out the Bavarian Illuminati instead! Much more fun/far out.

There are better and more appropriate groups/clubs for young men to join. Lots about with a focus on combatting loneliness and poor mental health.
Freemasons is not one of them.

Come off it.
Even the dogs in the street know why men prosper ‘On the Square’.
My God, joining was pretty much mandatory in the Met and regional British police forces at one point (and a very loooong point it was).

Sounds just like AA and NA....

I have a relative who is a mason and when he went through a horrible break up and divorce a few years ago they were really there for him and were an amazing support network. They feel a real responsibility for each other e.g visiting older masons who are on their own and can’t get to a lot of meetings. He is really passionate about the charity work involved. I honestly have a completely different view of them than I did.

Really? So agnostics and atheists cannot join?

I don't think 'anyone' can just join. As far as I know you have to be invited and then approved by the Lodge. It's pretty selective. Definitely old boys club stuff as a pp pointed out.

My ex fil was a mason and very proud of it. My neighbour who runs a business got invited and turned it down.

I'm sure they would broaden their appeal

I don't think they feel the need to broaden their appeal. They're not open to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Well maybe Harry.

Isn't it more about a supreme being, my cat is definitely a supreme being

Does he go out every Thursday evening with a little briefcase?

My son was a Freemason. Joined at 21 and lasted 18 months as he was bored shitless.

Ir was just dinners with lots of old men talking about politics. He said the food was great, the initiation was interesting. But he got fed up with having to sit through dinners and not much else.

The Freemasons aren't known for recruiting young men. They want respectable, influential men, not going people starting in a career. Especially those without a career, which is what the OP seems to be suggesting.

My son got in as he was a police officer at the time. He contacted the lodge and you can talk your way in if you impress them. One of them took him under their wing and nominated him formally.

Absolutely. I have lots of male friends who are masons. I think men absolutely need groups like this.
It gets them away from porn, video games and loneliness and exposes them to better influences.

Well it gave my SIL a lot of good work contacts. And gave him and DD a good few enjoyable nights out.

DH's Grandad was a Mason - he was also a miserable grumpy old sod so it didn't do much for him.

I think there are better organisations put there than the masons for friendship. There are lots of talking mens clubs such as Andy mans club around now and also men's shed type groups.

I have been to Masons dinners with an ex and it is expensive, hierarchical and cliquey. You have to believe in a higher entity e.g a god and it definitely had an air of 'if your face fits' about it. There are some odd rituals and rules too and its not very inclusive. I think special interest groups are still better - board games cafes, martial arts, hiking, car clubs etc those sorts of things

This. The OP appears to think Freemasonry is a type of benign men’s shed.

The whole point is that it is closed of though. It exists in order to be an exclusive club that allows people in it to network with each other and potentially gain networking privileges as a result. Hence the high membership costs, the fact people usually have to be recommended or the child of a Freemason. If they let in everyone it defeats the object.
That doesn't make them evil as some conspiracy theories suggest. But they are inherently elitist in the strictest sense of the word.