to be stressed by constant affection from children

[iamoverstimulated]

Feels really mean to be writing this but my five year old can’t walk past me without a long drawn out embrace. Has also started saying ‘mama! mama!’ in a silly voice like a wind up doll and wanting cuddles. Three year old climbing on me, clambering over me, slamming into me arrghhh when is it September

YANBU

I know what you mean 🤣

Not unreasonable at all.

Children can be overstimulating, and it’s normal to not want to be touched all of the time.
I would also try to make the most of it at the same time - there will come a time and they won’t want to know you.

Both things can be true. Joys of motherhood!

My youngest - nearly 10 is like this - she also calls me mama - most likely something they’ve watched.

It can get a bit much sometimes when a nearly 10 year old is asking for constant cuddles when your brain is falling out and you just want to sit for 5 mins with a cup of tea.

On the flip side of it - she is the last kid now who is willing to touch me 😂😂 And yes sometimes those cuddles are very much needed. She still sleeps in my bed so summer holidays are INTENSE.

I went to bed later than her the other night to avoid her and when I walked in to the room she was awake and said ‘Good evening’ and pulled the covers back 😂😂

I don’t ever think she will move out ( which I’m secretly glad about 😁)

Haha. Yes. I think it’s called being touched out. Hard to admit but lots of us feel that way sometimes.

I do sympathise shame we can’t bottle this stage and revisit it in bits when they are 13 and 15 and are just avoiding you!

As annoying as it is this won’t last forever, one day they’ll think it’s gross and embarrassing!

Awww, I know it can be hard sometimes but try to embrace this stage if you can.

This stage will be over soon enough, it won't last forever, and one day you will hold their hand for the last time, pick them up for the last time and actually be the one fighting for their affection.

Try, if you can, to remind yourself of this each time you feel a little annoyed by it.

Until then you are in the 'grin and bear it' stage 😂

Wine helps 😉

(and before anyone says anything, no I am NOT suggesting she has a glass of wine in one hand while juggling the kids in the other, but in typical MN style, you have to point out that this was tongue in cheek 🙄)

If is very sweet but it can also feel really stifling; the main issue is when I’m trying to do something else and they have me in a stranglehold 😂

Make the most of it. In 20 years time you will be back here complaining they never phone you.

Firmly tell them no.

I remember this well. 😂It is very cute but also pretty annoying.

I used to get down to their level, give a cuddle, then firmly explain that 'mummy is just folding the washing and can't do that with you on me. Go and play with your toys/read your book and mummy will do this and then I will be with you and we can do X,Y,Z'

Usually worked while I just got on with what I was doing.

Time to get a little firmer and they need to learn 'no' and 'not right now' and that sometimes they need to wait for your attention. 🙂

Yanbu, although my 5yo used to do this more to dh and call him "Dadda" when in this mood. Usually when she wanted something like more cake. Do not reward this behaviour with more cake!!

It may just be my kids but the more you tell them no and try to extract yourself the more they keep trying to get your affection / attention. I’ve also found this with asking the 5yo in particular to stfu for a few minutes (obviously I DO NOT phrase it like that) it seems to encourage him to jabber on even more

FML!

I’m howling about the good evening and pulling the covers back 😂😂😂

Don't worry, they move out eventually and like me, you can return to your prickly ways 😆.

I hated the silly put on baby voice phase, pretended I couldn't hear them until they spoke properly which soon stopped it!

when this happens to me i give into it - i find that doing that a few times then means they get bored with trying to achieve it and ease off.

Haha times that by 20! I love my job but sometimes 20 children wanting a cuddle leaves me tapped out! I try and see it as a positive thing that at nursery I’m their safe space expect the little sod who kept stroking my ankle at story time last year! He obviously like the hairiness as was always more difficult to shake off when I had hairy legs!!! 🤣

Oh I'm loving this thread. It's just so true to life ( sorry is that the right expression).
You love your kids but just want them to leave you the hell alone.
You are so normal and honest it's really refreshing.
Listen Up. Mine are in their 40s now but were never affectionate. They had a bit of a free range childhood. And days were spent disappearing over the hill and not coming back till dark.
Even now hugging is a strange part of our family.....sometimes I overhug to get a laugh and a lot of squirming and "mother cut it out" is done in good humour. Ps. We are all of us emotionally very close but maybe just not huggers.
I would just try and distract them with anything you can. That baby voice would drive me crazy. I had friends who's kids did it and I wanted to throw something. Just say you can't understand until they speak properly.
Ps. I do sympathise and wine helps!!!

I definitely know what you mean.

I feel guilty that I don’t feel this way about my almost two year old wanting affection and climbing on me because to me she’s just a little baby. However my 7 year old often wants to sit on me, clamber on me, cuddle and be right in my face etc and I find it so overstimulating because she’s big and heavy now. I know she won’t want to soon so I should just try to enjoy it but….in my head I’m like ‘GET OFFFFF!’

I have similar and I’m glad it’s an age thing as I have an older boy younger girl and I would hate to think I’m subconsciously feeling like boys shouldn’t ‘need’ affection as of course that’s nonsense but you never know what you internalise … but I do think it’s the sheer size of him!

We make light of this stifling existence full of overstimulation with small children, but I think it's a much bigger deal and can cause a type of PTSD.

There are years and years of this with small kids, and often no means of escape from it. If it was happeat a place of work, it would be illegal because of the effect on mental health.

Being constantly provoked, ground down, going into survival mode and a loss of identity is often the sum of it.
But it's all worth it, ha ha.

My most enjoyable times as a mother of young children was when we were with my friends with children that kept them occupied so I could breathe. The nuclear family is too intense and we aren't designed for it.

Oh my god, I can’t bear it, I feel so claustrophobic. They (2 and 5) are all over me all the time. I love a hug but it’s the climbing and the constant hanging on me.

My 5yo is like this, I think he thinks it’s a game but I hate it and he gets the little one involved too so then they are both at it 😭

Nonsense.