Page 2 | to be stressed by constant affection from children

iamoverstimulated · 2026-08-21T06:59:38+00:00

Feels really mean to be writing this but my five year old can’t walk past me without a long drawn out embrace. Has also started saying ‘mama! mama!’ in a silly voice like a wind up doll and wanting cuddles. Three year old climbing on me, clambering over me, slamming into me arrghhh when is it September

ThereIsNoGreenerGrassInAHeatwave · 21/08/2026 10:16

iamoverstimulated · 21/08/2026 08:21

If is very sweet but it can also feel really stifling; the main issue is when I’m trying to do something else and they have me in a stranglehold 😂

Hi Op. It's perfectly normal. No one wants to be touched all the time no matter how much you love your kids. And we need to be able to do stuff. Sometimes I think it's ok to give a quick hug and then say "go play" or a cheery "I need to work now. Love you".

I think a lot of times they just want that reassurance that you are there and you are there for them. So if not a hug maybe you can hold their hand or something that you find less draining. sometimes I think they are just bored. It will get easier after the summer holidays.

I have also explained to my kids that there are times when I just don't want to be touched and it doesn't mean I don't love them or don't love their affection or wouldn't want a hug later abd most importantly they can always saY no to physical affection as well. In practice I don't think I've ever denied a hug when they wanted one but I do think they need to learn that hugs or any physical touch is always voluntary and can't be forced or demanded. Neither from them nor from anyone else. I think at 5 this is definitely something you can talk about with your child..

ThereIsNoGreenerGrassInAHeatwave · 21/08/2026 10:19

iamoverstimulated · 21/08/2026 08:37

It may just be my kids but the more you tell them no and try to extract yourself the more they keep trying to get your affection / attention. I’ve also found this with asking the 5yo in particular to stfu for a few minutes (obviously I DO NOT phrase it like that) it seems to encourage him to jabber on even more

FML!

My kids do the same especially my five year old. The more you say no the more he wants it. Oh well just another two weeks. Also what a pp said about getting down to their level and telling them.why you are busy now and when you will have time for them.

My ten year old doesn't demand hugs anymore.

YoungSoak · 21/08/2026 10:20

My 6 yo plonks her feet in my lap and demands that I tickle them. Meanwhile her brother is trying to force his way onto my lap. Sometimes I hide in the toilets for a few minutes to get away from the constant physical contact. I know some day they won’t be caught dead anywhere near me but it’s intense at times

Ponoka7 · 21/08/2026 10:23

Rocknrollstar · 21/08/2026 08:22

Make the most of it. In 20 years time you will be back here complaining they never phone you.

I and most other people I know, must be exceptionally unlucky. Our children are late 20s to early 40s and still finding use for us.
Don't let them watch family guy. My then teen DD and her friends thought it was hysterical to follow me around saying, mama, mummy, (name) like Stewie Griffin does when he goes through the obsession attachment stage for his Mum, Lois.

Teacup40 · 21/08/2026 10:23

I understand completely how you feel and the guilt that comes with it! I have 4 dc my eldest is 13 and can't stand me haha but the younger 3 are glued to my side all day! if I sit down they pile on me or want constant cuddles it really is sufficating. I feel so guilty that I just want them to go away sometimes as I know from experience they won't want me when they get older but it just gets too much!

Activelife · 21/08/2026 10:24

Rocknrollstar · 21/08/2026 08:22

Make the most of it. In 20 years time you will be back here complaining they never phone you.

Yep, ive read plenty of threads like this.
Not even 20 years wait till they get to teens.
My sisters kids stopped all the clinging stuff around 9 / 10 years old, all in there 20s now doing their own thing.

Teacup40 · 21/08/2026 10:24

Ponoka7 · 21/08/2026 10:23

I and most other people I know, must be exceptionally unlucky. Our children are late 20s to early 40s and still finding use for us.
Don't let them watch family guy. My then teen DD and her friends thought it was hysterical to follow me around saying, mama, mummy, (name) like Stewie Griffin does when he goes through the obsession attachment stage for his Mum, Lois.

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Haha been there my eldest thought that was hilarious 😂

Nofeckingway · 21/08/2026 10:31

I don't know if I did this as a child but my sister and I used to do this to my mother as adults 😂. She would be reading a newspaper or watching TV and we would try to lie up against her until she yelled at us to get off . Mummy !

readingmakesmehappy · 21/08/2026 10:38

Being touched out is very real.
I try to tell myself they won’t always want these cuddles so I should gather them up while I can.

Timeforachange26 · 21/08/2026 10:38

Activelife · 21/08/2026 10:24

Yep, ive read plenty of threads like this.
Not even 20 years wait till they get to teens.
My sisters kids stopped all the clinging stuff around 9 / 10 years old, all in there 20s now doing their own thing.

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See my teens didn't ignore me and I'm one of the parents that wouldn't tolerate small kids constantly climbing over me

EmailsaysOOO · 21/08/2026 10:46

That's ok. In a few years he's going to be picking his nose, slamming doors behind him and swearing at you.

Yellowhollyhocks · 21/08/2026 11:27

'' readingmakesmehappy · Today 10:38
Being touched out is very real.
I try to tell myself they won’t always want these cuddles so I should gather them up while I can.''

Or has centuries of patriarchy thought us to ignore our own God given instincts to move away from overstimulation and #be kind?

It's not the fault of the children, we are born primed to live in a village with many caretakers, but there's only mum, maybe dad and some siblings so they get the full blast