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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Meghan Markle has every right to worry about her security?

532 replies

Hardware252525252525 · 20/08/2026 22:07

I’m not a monarchist and haven’t really taken much notice of the whole saga, but obviously do know the main points.

However, the comments across Mumsnet and multiple newspapers and websites are absolutely insane and unhinged. People who don’t know them insisting she’s leaving Harry and the kids, is controlling him, that they’re skint and tge
kids will have to go to state school if Charles doesn’t pay, people saying they hope a random stranger sees her and gives her ‘some home truths’.

It is absolutely crackers and I worry about the sanity of the people who seem to really believe they know them.

OP posts:
mumsneedwine · 21/08/2026 09:44

autumnleavesonthefloor · 21/08/2026 09:43

Yep. By all accounts she’s a nice person

She's a bully. A friend is ex staff and all you read is unfortunately true. Maybe she's changed but being horrible to staff is not classy.

Yogabearmous · 21/08/2026 09:46

megan has every right to worry about security. She also has every right to pay for it and ensure her safety.

Filoparcels017 · 21/08/2026 09:47

Stormyrose · 21/08/2026 08:17

Of course they should be worried about security, thays not specific to the uk. Their behaviour has been distasteful and dishonest. It doesn’t matter who it is in the public eye, you are going to attract loons if you do that, most celebs have security for them and their kids, and the ones who are disliked due to their behaviour or views have more more

it isn’t they are royal, or the fact they are coming to the uk, it’s the ridiculous attention seeking behaviour at the expense of others that’s the issue. And it’s constant. South Park nailed it. Albeit in a mocking way,

and it’s ridiculous to think Meghan was utterly clueless when she married Harry , two mins of googling would tell her what she needed to know. This wasn’t some teenage ingenue she was a mature woman who knew exactly what she was getting into and proactively wanted it,

what she didn’t know, is that she wouldn’t be number one. The star of the show. She thought she’d got the gig of her life, thought they could be a list in the USA, hang with a listers and lead the life of fame and fortune she’d always wanted, fullfil all her ambitions at once, and Harry encouraged that, he even said she was coming in to modernise the royal family, the man’s an idiot. And she desperately wanted that, so she’s not much smarter, common sense would tell you, she wasn’t going to be leading the royal family,

but the attention they got, the fanfare, deluded her into believing the hype.and so off they fucked to America to make their fortune. But with no skills. They cashed in on bad mouthing the royals, and it all came crashing down.

what we will see next is some form of pseudo royal behaviour as they try to work their way back in, they will visit as many heart tugging charities for the photos as they can. Try to be seen with the royals, as a way to try to bolster their reputation, and thus give them a new opportunity to make money, it’s just more half in half out attempts. Now they are trying it by stealth and proximity as all they have to sell is their royal connections.

That is one perspective. Different viewpoints exist.

For example, lots of reporters are saying they returned to the UK because their dc are of school age and they wanted them to have a British education.

Continuing with a different perspective …

Harry was born in to the royal family through no fault of his own , and like all of them, can’t escape his destiny. He can’t be a pseudo royal because he is son of the king and brother to the heir. And he was not brought up to do a normal job, unless it involves flying a helicopter.

Anyone he married would have been subject to huge media interest. Two of his previous gf’s allegedly broke up with him bc of that.

I am not saying that everything H&M did was correct, but I think he had a right to write and publish his own story given how many other people comment on his life and profit from it on an almost daily basis.

And to be fair to him, he wrote about all of the mistakes he made as well as criticising others.

It wasn’t wise to go on Oprah either but I think they felt hurt and pushed in to a corner by the fait accompli presented to H at the Sandringham Summit.

I don’t think it is beyond credibility that MM found some of her experiences in BP to be clouded by racial tension or strong misunderstandings.

And I think there should be more understanding for a woman, yes a savvy older independent woman, who married in to an institution dictated by rules she didn’t understand and who didn’t appreciate having her autonomy curtailed when she already had experience of the world and had always carved her own path in it.

Of course she was going to find that hard. Her reactions may have been inappropriately forceful and interpreted as bullying, who knows? But it is odd that the bullying charges were leaked just days before the Oprah interview. And appeared again in the US just as she was about to launch her enterprise. A bit suspicious.

And of course it’s going to be hard when you find your future child being portrayed in a cartoon as a chimpanzee and that being published on sm, and then across the tabloids.

She shouldn’t have complained publicly because that is when she lost the good will of a lot of people. It wasn’t appropriate given the poverty of the women she was visiting.

But we shouldn’t condemn her either for finding it hard, especially when on a tour of SA which by all accounts was quite demanding and she had had a baby four months previously.

Being an ordinary non-royal person, she probably would have appreciated a bit of feedback from Charles and the Queen but that family only seem to communicate in a Victorian style through flunkies and notes! Imagine having to make an appointment to see your own dad?

BP when MM joined was very out of date in how it functioned and communicated. The late Queen’s long reign meant that everything had stayed the same for far too long. And Charles is not a young man.

MM used Instagram and sm and W and C have followed suit with their “highly produced” videos, so MM did help to modernise the family’s communication methods, for good or bad!

And I think it’s unfair to say she wanted to be star of the show. How can you know that? She and Harry are popular with different sections of society to W and C.

They appeal to a public that is youthful, poorer, more culturally diverse, as they discovered in Nottingham and the institution would have been wise to have hung on to that appeal and used them to improve their dwindling popularity among the young. I think H and M would have been happy in that niche and to leave the more formal, stuffy, state dinners etc to W and C who do their part well.

But maybe William didn’t like that idea? Neither of us know what went on. So my guesses are as valid as yours.

As for attention-seeking, I don’t see why they should hide in a cave. They have to finance themselves now. They both had careers that were in the public eye before they married and that is what they both trained to do.

And Meghan didn’t appear in public or say a word while in the UK recently and there were still reams written about her! They really can’t win!

metellaestinatrio · 21/08/2026 09:47

aCatCalledFawkes · 21/08/2026 08:20

I agree OP some if the posts are totally unhinged. I read one post yesterday suggesting that William will strip the children of their titles. WTF there 5&7, what have they done to anyone and what kind of uncle would that make him?

But how does some random on MN saying the children’s titles should be removed translate to a level of threat sufficient to merit taxpayer funded security?!

Whatever your view on the children having titles, someone offering a different opinion on that issue - however made you think it is - does not threaten the children, Meghan or Harry in any way.

Backtoschooloncemore · 21/08/2026 09:48

Sereine · 21/08/2026 09:38

I think it's always been accepted that the family need security when they're in the UK, and they are entitled to an extra level of security because of who they are and in particular if there are any live threats against them.

The problem has always been that Harry thinks he is entitled to a higher level than RAVEC and the police assess as necessary, to which their response is basically "Fine, you want more, you pay for it". Which seems entirely reasonable to me. It's been through the courts, that should be the end of the debate.

Harry thinks he should have the same status as his father and brother - international protected person. But this status is one agreed by international treaty and necessarily heavily limited to very few individuals (eg heads of state) as it puts responsibilities on all countries that that person enters to provide security.

In the Uk the family’s security is assessed by RAVEC who will provide the level of security they deem is necessary and proportionate.

MyLimeGuide · 21/08/2026 09:52

Hardware252525252525 · 20/08/2026 22:36

You don’t know her. You have no idea what went on.

Do you know her?

angelos02 · 21/08/2026 09:52

They can't expect the hard up tax payer to pay for it when they aren't even going to do royal duties. They'll have to fund it themselves or ask his dad to pay - I think he's got a fair amount of cash.

metellaestinatrio · 21/08/2026 09:52

aCatCalledFawkes · 21/08/2026 08:40

This is mental. Of course it should be safe for him to return to his home country and be able to connect with the charities he works with and his work for the invictus games. He shouldn't have to live in exile.

The point is that it is perfectly safe. It is Harry and Meghan who have continued this narrative for the last six years that they cannot be safe in the UK, even though they are happy to travel to other, arguably less safe, countries such as Nigeria and Colombia, and Harry is happy to wander the streets of Fulham ringing on random doorbells. There have been no security issues on Harry’s UK visits since he moved to the US. The security they are provided with is bespoke and clearly adequate. However, if they feel “terrified” despite that, nothing is forcing them to move back.

Backtoschooloncemore · 21/08/2026 09:56

*Imagine having to make an appointment to see your own dad?

What is unusual about that? Most people whose families live busy lives and jobs with large responsibilities have to agree time to visit/meet up in advance.

aCatCalledFawkes · 21/08/2026 09:56

metellaestinatrio · 21/08/2026 09:47

But how does some random on MN saying the children’s titles should be removed translate to a level of threat sufficient to merit taxpayer funded security?!

Whatever your view on the children having titles, someone offering a different opinion on that issue - however made you think it is - does not threaten the children, Meghan or Harry in any way.

I think to keep suggesting things that will create humiliation for the Sussex's and keep stirring up hate for them is going to create an argument to say that they should have protection paid for them, that comment was just one comment on a thread that had many other awful comments on it.

Abra1t · 21/08/2026 09:57

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 20/08/2026 22:11

Yanbu. Some peoples obsession with them is utterly bizarre.
Also, Liz Truss gets taxpayer funded police protection for the rest of her life. Seems reasonable the Kings actual son and his family should too.
I say that as a republican.

Princess Anne and Prince Edward only get security on official duties. Not all the time. They are children of a monarch too.

SummerNocturnal · 21/08/2026 10:01

Yanbu
If she has any sense at all, she'll keep her head down and stay under the radar where she can because the clickbait, MN and DM interest in them is insane.

MrsShawnHatosy · 21/08/2026 10:01

Hardware252525252525 · 20/08/2026 22:27

I don’t understand why Harry didn’t prepare her more. He would’ve known that his kids wouldn’t be prince and princesses whilst the Queen was alive, should’ve warned her about the protocol when meeting his brother and sister in law etc. I don’t understand why he didn’t prepare her.

Yes it’s obvious she had no idea what she was signing up for.

Missey85 · 21/08/2026 10:01

2026letsgo · 21/08/2026 09:37

I think you’d be hard pressed to name a female that has attempted to kill anyone famous though.

There is a just over or under 550 murders a year in the uk which includes terrorist attacks and things like the lorry driver charged with the murder of Chinese immigrants in the back. So murder is rare. 2/3 less women are killed then men.
Less than 9% of women were charged suspects.

Domestic abuse is the what kills women. Statically she’s got more chance of Harry doing her in than some random female.

Phil Hartman was murdered by his wife he was a celebrity he did the voice for Lionel hutz and others on the Simpsons

aCatCalledFawkes · 21/08/2026 10:02

metellaestinatrio · 21/08/2026 09:52

The point is that it is perfectly safe. It is Harry and Meghan who have continued this narrative for the last six years that they cannot be safe in the UK, even though they are happy to travel to other, arguably less safe, countries such as Nigeria and Colombia, and Harry is happy to wander the streets of Fulham ringing on random doorbells. There have been no security issues on Harry’s UK visits since he moved to the US. The security they are provided with is bespoke and clearly adequate. However, if they feel “terrified” despite that, nothing is forcing them to move back.

Harry does have protection when he travels and he's in the UK because he pays for it, but there not allowed to carry firearms or recieve intelligent data, perhaps the better question is why does he need it when the UK should be a safe place.

metellaestinatrio · 21/08/2026 10:03

aCatCalledFawkes · 21/08/2026 09:56

I think to keep suggesting things that will create humiliation for the Sussex's and keep stirring up hate for them is going to create an argument to say that they should have protection paid for them, that comment was just one comment on a thread that had many other awful comments on it.

But how does the suggestion that the children’s titles should be removed (from a MN poster who has nothing to do with royal titles) stir up hate for the family and put them at risk? Either people will think “how ridiculous, it’s not the children’s fault, taking away the titles would be mean” or “yes, I don’t see why the children should have titles in this day and age”, or “I couldn’t care less either way”. I don’t see how someone expressing that opinion on MN created any level of threat to the Sussex family?

Missey85 · 21/08/2026 10:03

MrsShawnHatosy · 21/08/2026 10:01

Yes it’s obvious she had no idea what she was signing up for.

Of course she knew she just thought she'd get Kate's life and got pissy when she realised the spare doesn't get that poor Megan she married the wrong brother 😂

Backtoschooloncemore · 21/08/2026 10:04

Filoparcels017 · 21/08/2026 09:47

That is one perspective. Different viewpoints exist.

For example, lots of reporters are saying they returned to the UK because their dc are of school age and they wanted them to have a British education.

Continuing with a different perspective …

Harry was born in to the royal family through no fault of his own , and like all of them, can’t escape his destiny. He can’t be a pseudo royal because he is son of the king and brother to the heir. And he was not brought up to do a normal job, unless it involves flying a helicopter.

Anyone he married would have been subject to huge media interest. Two of his previous gf’s allegedly broke up with him bc of that.

I am not saying that everything H&M did was correct, but I think he had a right to write and publish his own story given how many other people comment on his life and profit from it on an almost daily basis.

And to be fair to him, he wrote about all of the mistakes he made as well as criticising others.

It wasn’t wise to go on Oprah either but I think they felt hurt and pushed in to a corner by the fait accompli presented to H at the Sandringham Summit.

I don’t think it is beyond credibility that MM found some of her experiences in BP to be clouded by racial tension or strong misunderstandings.

And I think there should be more understanding for a woman, yes a savvy older independent woman, who married in to an institution dictated by rules she didn’t understand and who didn’t appreciate having her autonomy curtailed when she already had experience of the world and had always carved her own path in it.

Of course she was going to find that hard. Her reactions may have been inappropriately forceful and interpreted as bullying, who knows? But it is odd that the bullying charges were leaked just days before the Oprah interview. And appeared again in the US just as she was about to launch her enterprise. A bit suspicious.

And of course it’s going to be hard when you find your future child being portrayed in a cartoon as a chimpanzee and that being published on sm, and then across the tabloids.

She shouldn’t have complained publicly because that is when she lost the good will of a lot of people. It wasn’t appropriate given the poverty of the women she was visiting.

But we shouldn’t condemn her either for finding it hard, especially when on a tour of SA which by all accounts was quite demanding and she had had a baby four months previously.

Being an ordinary non-royal person, she probably would have appreciated a bit of feedback from Charles and the Queen but that family only seem to communicate in a Victorian style through flunkies and notes! Imagine having to make an appointment to see your own dad?

BP when MM joined was very out of date in how it functioned and communicated. The late Queen’s long reign meant that everything had stayed the same for far too long. And Charles is not a young man.

MM used Instagram and sm and W and C have followed suit with their “highly produced” videos, so MM did help to modernise the family’s communication methods, for good or bad!

And I think it’s unfair to say she wanted to be star of the show. How can you know that? She and Harry are popular with different sections of society to W and C.

They appeal to a public that is youthful, poorer, more culturally diverse, as they discovered in Nottingham and the institution would have been wise to have hung on to that appeal and used them to improve their dwindling popularity among the young. I think H and M would have been happy in that niche and to leave the more formal, stuffy, state dinners etc to W and C who do their part well.

But maybe William didn’t like that idea? Neither of us know what went on. So my guesses are as valid as yours.

As for attention-seeking, I don’t see why they should hide in a cave. They have to finance themselves now. They both had careers that were in the public eye before they married and that is what they both trained to do.

And Meghan didn’t appear in public or say a word while in the UK recently and there were still reams written about her! They really can’t win!

Edited

Harry was born into the Royal family and the quid pro quo for the restrictions it imposed was wealth. He also grew up with huge privilege. In terms of job, he was limited more by ability and being accustomed to wealth and privilege than by the royal family. He could get a lower level job but wouldn’t because of his perception of his status. He didn’t need a lower level job because he was wealthy enough not to work (but not to live at the level he would like).

aCatCalledFawkes · 21/08/2026 10:06

metellaestinatrio · 21/08/2026 10:03

But how does the suggestion that the children’s titles should be removed (from a MN poster who has nothing to do with royal titles) stir up hate for the family and put them at risk? Either people will think “how ridiculous, it’s not the children’s fault, taking away the titles would be mean” or “yes, I don’t see why the children should have titles in this day and age”, or “I couldn’t care less either way”. I don’t see how someone expressing that opinion on MN created any level of threat to the Sussex family?

As I said it was one comment out of a lot of comments yesterday, the point of this thread is OP is suggesting that there has been so many unhinged comments.

simpsonthecat · 21/08/2026 10:07

Backtoschooloncemore · 21/08/2026 09:38

Half in half out basically meant commercially exploiting the fact they were royals which clearly was totally unacceptable. If the queen had not said no then parliament would have needed to have stepped in on that.

Most of them commercially exploit their royaldom. Apart from Charles and his heir.

Backtoschooloncemore · 21/08/2026 10:10

MrsShawnHatosy · 21/08/2026 10:01

Yes it’s obvious she had no idea what she was signing up for.

I agree. I think she had bought into the Hollywood/Disney idea of royalty. The royal family has a lot of privilege but in return for what is a lot of very mundane work. A fancy dinner gala might be fun once in a while with your friends. Every week having to spend an evening making small talk about industries or charities you know little about and it would quickly pall.

CathyorClaire · 21/08/2026 10:10

MM of course has every right to worry about her security just as taxpayers have every right to worry about the prospect of funding it.

Quine0nline · 21/08/2026 10:11

Do other women who are unpopular either because of prejudice, whom they married or other reasons rightly or wrongly - Victoria Beckham, Jk Rowling get protection, demand protection or not?

simpsonthecat · 21/08/2026 10:11

Missey85 · 21/08/2026 10:03

Of course she knew she just thought she'd get Kate's life and got pissy when she realised the spare doesn't get that poor Megan she married the wrong brother 😂

Gosh, didn't she realise she wasn't marrying William until she walked up the aisle.
What a load of tosh!

moonraker0 · 21/08/2026 10:12

intsjl26 · 21/08/2026 07:38

Just “words”, I wonder what Jason Arday thought of the “words” constantly there about him.

He was clearly unwell given the lies he made up. Are you suggesting that Harry and Megan are the same as him?