To increasingly feel like men are more of a hindrance than anything else

[Windiscrazytoday]

They are responsible for so many evils in the world in comparison to females
The females I know are just so much more capable and emotionally stable
I love Dh but often find myself helping him to regulate his emotions or balancing things on days out to keep the mood good for the Dc
My father, I adore, but my mother's life has not been easy with him in many aspects

Is this a peri/late 40's thing?

Feel like I'm seeing how things really are and it isn't great

Women are hard work too though - I remember thinking when I was younger I was glad I wasn’t a lesbian because men are far more straightforward to deal
with.

That said from Mumsnet I have learned that there are lots of really horrible men out there. My own dad and husband are great (if occasionally angry!) and my life is immeasurably better for them being in it.

I’m sure there are lots of lovely kind men in the world but I unfortunately haven’t been lucky enough to have had a relationship with one (excluding my son).

I have met a few men described as "wonderful" and "amazing" and "does soo much". In reality, when you observed with a critical eye, they still did far less than their wives and, if they were women, they would not be praised for doing basic shit.

I’m sorry but you ARE responsible for your choice of partner.

And there ARE millions of amazing men out there.

These are just facts 🤷‍♀️

I've noticed that too.

"As he ages, my husband has become more and more of a grumpy old sod."
"The menopause has given me a superpower -- I have no more fucks to give! It's great."

Spot the difference.

Interesting thread. I work in a very male dominated industry (investment banking) and the most sexist person I’ve ever worked for was a woman. She’d chosen to prioritise her career over having DC (a personal and valid choice), and took real exception to the fact I chose to have DC and accept that meant I would never make ‘Managing Director’ level. I was, and remain very comfortable with that decision. The men I worked (and still work with), were huge cheerleaders of my trying to do both, in an industry where women generally left after having DC. When I had DC2, my male boss really went into bat for me going PT for a while, which had never happened at my bank. He had promoted me whilst I was on mat leave.

DH is late 50’s and grew up with a working mum and SAHD, which was really unusual in the 70’s. He’s subsequently become a husband/father who is completely hands on. Given my long hours, he deals with most of the stuff at home - l get home around 8.30pm to a clean house, home cooked meal, laundry done, kids ferried about. He’s brilliant. DS is therefore learning that it’s completely normal for men to pull their weight at home. DD also thinks it’s completely normal for men to cook/clean, and generally, all adults do whatever jobs need doing at home.

I’m not naive to the fact it’s generally men who commit violent crimes, have egos the size of a planet and will put their own needs ahead of anyone else’s. I suspect I got lucky with DH because his mum is an incredible woman who wouldn’t tolerate any bullshit from her husband or son. I’m incredibly grateful to her and hope I do as good a job with DS, as she did with DH.

Frankly when you start having to result to a tirade of insults in your post like 'weaselling out', 'lazy' , 'petty', 'pathetic' and whatever else you want to call me and saying that I am 'playing the victim card' you have already lost the argument.

This is the type of language that bullies use. Not reasonable adults having a debate and expressing different opinions.

How on earth can you possibly know, unless you've lived at close quarters with every single man you've ever met?

Saying all men are shit is feeding the influence that Andrew Tate and his like have on young males

My DH is calmer than me, and probably the better parent. That's why I married him, because he is capable, calm and kind. I have a volatile dad and I was NEVER putting up with an ounce of that crap from a partner.
However on here reading the absolute horror that women on MN have put up with often has me fuming. I think these men should never gotten married, definitely shouldn't have had children. I wonder if it was hoped they would mature into better men? I remember hearing my MIL telling her daughter that her partner will mature with marriage and step up when they had kids and I thought NO HE FUCKING WON'T! Nope, he still is exactly who he always was.
I hope the days of women grinning and bearing is over with the newer generation because I shudder to think of my DD tolerating this behaviour for the great honour of having a man at home.
Men do this because women tolerate it and have tolerated it forever.

Yes, a lot of these 'all men are shit' threads go very much into the exact same mindset that the incels do the other way around; but it's often a self-fulfilling prophecy whereby this will be angrily denied and deflected - because of the assured assumption that men are bad and women are good, which is then somehow 'proof' and 'justification' for their deeply concerning opinions.

Nobody is forcing you to have a relationship with anybody, if you don't want to; or even to have anything at all to do with any group/class of people whom you believe to be inherently objectionable above a very basic level of civility where unavoidable.

Andrew Tate wasn't created by Mumsnet.

Straw man.

No, he's a real person, and one who dresses like a Ken doll from 2006. But he isn't the product of a 26 year old parenting web forum comprising mainly middle aged women. Mumsnet is not what radicalised his followers.

(Yes, I know what a straw man argument is. But it's completely irrelevant to what I'm saying so I'm just making fun of Andrew Tate and of the idea that the online source that created his followers is frigging Mumsnet. Do me a lemon.)

What is the point of such a statement? Men are here to stay, whether some women like it or not.

Better to focus on individuals and what positives each bring rather than creating a self fulfilling prophecy by convincing oneself and others that one sex is so much better all around than the other.

A friend from Eastern Europe, where I am gold, they still have real men, sent this to me:

A woman got up in the morning, turned on the lights supplied by a power grid laid by men from a power plant operated by men, and poured hot water—heated with gas extracted by men—through plumbing installed by men over her coffee.
The coffee had been brought by plane, flown by men from plantations cultivated by men, along with a bun made from wheat planted and harvested by men, transported by men to shops built by men.
She pressed a button on a computer assembled by men and invented by men, and using software created by men, went onto the internet created by men, and typed, using letters from an alphabet created by men:
I’m an independent woman. Why would I need these losers?

Software created by men 🥴
Whole things cringe actually

Yeah, that’s not my experience either. I think the only crap men I’ve heard about have been on here. It’s not been my experience at all with the men I know in my life.

I think you need to go and look at a little history on what women created and have been involved in. Or what they’ve been allowed to be involved in, shall we say?

Oh, no, was Konrad Zuse a woman?

Gosh, you’d think your friend would be able to do a bit of research (even just a basic google search) to realise this is a load of bunkum!! You need to let your friend know not to believe the amount of false drivel that’s perpetrated on crappy social media sites!!

@PrizedPickledPopcorn nor me

Not all men are arseholes, but the biggest arseholes are always men.