To increasingly feel like men are more of a hindrance than anything else

[Windiscrazytoday]

They are responsible for so many evils in the world in comparison to females
The females I know are just so much more capable and emotionally stable
I love Dh but often find myself helping him to regulate his emotions or balancing things on days out to keep the mood good for the Dc
My father, I adore, but my mother's life has not been easy with him in many aspects

Is this a peri/late 40's thing?

Feel like I'm seeing how things really are and it isn't great

I am afraid I have had mostly bad experience with men: violent/abusive/misogynist father, unwanted touching by a teenage boy at school, sexual assault by a so-called male 'friend', general poor behaviour with any man I dated (selfishness, porn obsessions, inability to see women as human beings rather than maids and sex objects...)

Unfortunately men are responsible for the majority of crimes and have built a world where most leaders seem to be more concerned by their greed and ego than people's welfare.

I think patriarchy and male violence are a blight on societies and women and children pay a high price for that.

There are of course some decent individual men but as a gender they come with some serious issues.

I am much happier now that I am older, single and have no interest in having a man in my life or worrying about whether they find me attractive or not. Bliss.

You are not wrong OP. Most of the evil in this world comes from men. It’s not man hating to say this. It’s stating the obvious!

Is it really easier to write off the entire male sex than face up to the fact that you made a poor choice of partner…

The usual 'pick me women' and 'not my man' brigade...

I reality it is hard to ignore facts:

• men commit the majority of violent crimes, including rape and sexual assaults, domestic violence and child abuse
• for centuries women and girls were second class citizens who were the property of their father then husband, denied the vote, right to own property and so on and men had no issue whatsoever with these inequalities. It is still the same in many countries to this day.

So the 'women are as bad as men' trope does not stand up to scrutiny.

Sometimes I play a game where I ignore every news story involving a man just to see what the news would be like if there were only women in the world. It's truly eye opening.

Writing off an entire sex merely gives the shit men an excuse, like they can’t help it or take any accountability because it is entirely inevitable that they will be shit. This is lazy. You should hold shit men to more account, not less. Men can choose to be better. I don’t refute most of what you say, patriarchy and toxic masculinity is an absolute blight on our society. But it is not genetic. It is not inevitable. Make men stand up, have higher expectations, don’t discount them all.

I find these wonderful men who share life equally and carry the mental load 50/50 with their partners only exist on MN.

Never met one in real life. And highly doubt I ever will.

Probably, but if a woman wants to deal with it by no longer having romantic or sexual contact with men, what's the issue?

I wish men who hate women would do the same.

There we have it...the blame on the woman.

Strange how all my friends, my sister, my mum (in some respects) and millions of people around the world, are they themselves, all to blame for their choice of partner. All attractive, hard working, intelligent, amazing women.

Yep. It's bull.

The problem with your post is that you seem to think I, and other women, are responsible for making men better.

It is not my job to turn abusers into decent men. I should not have to 'hold them to account' or 'make men stand up'.

They are the ones who need to change their behaviour and treat women with respect.

I am not on this earth to fix broken, shitty men.

Mums of boys do have some responsibility on how they are bringing them up

Bit you've talked about your own DH? I dont get it. If you're all walking on eggshells with his moods that's you it's putting up with it.

It was one example, there are many many out there the same

I have been unfortunate to have two truly awful men in my life: my father and my now exH. They have been emotionally abusive / neglectful, selfish beyond belief, coercive, manipulative and cruel and narcisistic. They have gas lighted me, financially ruined me amd caused untold lasting damage to my self esteem.

However, the good men in my life outnumber those two excuses for men: my wonderful son (a role model to his siblings & nephews) who lights up the room & has the most wholesome heart; my current partner who is the love of my life - generosity and kindness personified and has never raised his voice, lost his temper or been unkind to me or anyone else I know; my son in law - the best father my grandsons could wish for & who is a lovely husband to my daughter & brother-in-law to my other DCs. There are other fabulous men in my life, but you get the picture.

I love my boy, I love my dad and I'm very fond of my male friends but I wouldn't live with one I haven't birthed again.

This oft repeated thread is peak Mumsnet

Which rather suggests it’s quite an important topic.

Then I’m so sorry you find yourself with an awful one 🤷‍♀️

Im 100% sick of them and Im never having another one.

Why do that?

You're calling them liars? Interesting. Ain't just a river in Egypt...

And many out there different. What was your point again?

And I have no doubt whatsoever that you would read such a thread and just think to yourself "oh well, it's not my place to respond" 🙄