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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think if we need to politely ask men not to rape women (or men), then we don't want such people in the UK?

773 replies

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:26

Don't rape, sexually assault or make kissing noises' at people, asylum seekers warned in guidance about living in UK
UK arrivals have been told to treat women equally, not sexually assault partners or have sex with children in a new Home Office pamphlet. As well as the guidebook, a series of posters have also been designed by the government.

https://news.sky.com/story/asylum-seekers-warned-not-to-make-kissing-sounds-at-people-in-new-guidance-about-living-in-uk-13574744

OP posts:
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34
Theworldsgonemadagain · 19/08/2026 23:28

Jinglejangle2525 · 19/08/2026 23:07

It’s beyond belief how some people respond to threads like these. Why can’t people be concerned that men are coming over to the UK in the masses, from cultures where they view women as nothing, and there’s many many many examples of them committing crimes, murders and rapes? We all know Brits also commit these crimes, but that doesn’t make it any better!!! If a Brit has a history of rape, it’s likely he’s in the system. If they commit any new crimes their history will be taken into account when sentencing. You could also do a Clare’s law if you have concerns. Whereas a mass amount of men coming over here, who have no proof of who they are, no record of what they have done previously means you have no idea who you are dealing with. There have also been many examples of “pack” mentality where a group of asylum seekers have targeted vulnerable/ alone / drunk females. What chance does a lone female have against a group of men? How do people defend these never ending crimes from migrants with “well white men do it too?” I’m concerned about BOTH!!! Why can’t the “left” accept that we have an issue on both sides but that people are likely more focused in general about migrants because we can’t deport people who are from here can we? But we can stop more of it coming in. It’s also concerning to many seeing the groups of men and the pack mentality. It’s worrying because of the culture they come from, which will be so heavily imprinted on them that it’s very hard to change. It’s worrying we have no idea what previous crimes they have committed and that many of them come over with untreated mental health issues. It’s worrying because the amount of foreigners in our prisons is not in proportion to the overall population!!

100% agree. These women are so stupid to defend dangerous migration policys. I don't give a shite now if people call me racist for having a braincell and caring about dangerous men coming into the country. I'd rather be called that than sit back and say to my child well I cared more about people calling me right wing and being a tolerant sheep than your safety. The stats speak for themselves. Those are only conviction rates, most rapes don't end in conviction so God help us what the real figures are.

Neverstopwondering · 19/08/2026 23:28

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:26

Just reading that the USA has ever deported people back directly to Kabul

Apparently we are getting Harry and Megan back from them too

Do you think we can offer to take a few dozen of their illegals in exchange for them keeping those two royal pain in the bums

Thegreatwhitestillalive · 19/08/2026 23:28

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 21:49

Sudan and Eritrea are literally war zones.

foreign office advice is do not travel. Neighbouring Ethiopia which is generally pretty safe has lots of restrictions due to the civil wars in neighbouring countries.

it is interesting through how people have very different attitudes to Muslim countries.

Dubai, which is Muslim and where sex outside marriage is actually illegal is often held up by people as a great place to go and live. Lots of families and single people go and live there - and you won’t hear anyone saying that men from Dubai have appalling attitudes to women and sexually assault them.

Afghanistan, which many Muslims regard as a total shithole where the people cannot even begin to be good Muslims is excoriated by British people when many Afghani men have exactly the same attitude to women that men from Dubai have.

Sex outside of marriage is legal in UAE as is cohabitation of unmarried couples. The problem for case you linked was that one was under 18. Which is illegal

LBFseBrom · 19/08/2026 23:28

IHaveTraumaFromAlfredHitchcocksTheBirds · 19/08/2026 20:29

I wish they would give this guidance to all men tbh.

Yes and not just here but all over the world.

At 76 I have lost count of the number of girls and women I've known who've been sexually assaulted.

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 23:34

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:15

You can ban men in from nations where VAWG is atrocious

Ok.

that’s a good idea.

can you provide a list because if this is to be government policy there needs to be a list.

(you may find it easier to list the countries where it is not atrocious)

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:34

Neverstopwondering · 19/08/2026 23:28

Apparently we are getting Harry and Megan back from them too

Do you think we can offer to take a few dozen of their illegals in exchange for them keeping those two royal pain in the bums

I don't dislike Harry and Meghan they can stay in the UK. Harry is a UK citizen and a prince of the realm

EasternStandard · 19/08/2026 23:35

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 23:34

Ok.

that’s a good idea.

can you provide a list because if this is to be government policy there needs to be a list.

(you may find it easier to list the countries where it is not atrocious)

Use a system where it’s possible to vet first.

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:35

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 23:34

Ok.

that’s a good idea.

can you provide a list because if this is to be government policy there needs to be a list.

(you may find it easier to list the countries where it is not atrocious)

Afghanistan
Burkina Faso
Burma (Myanmar)
Chad
Equatorial Guinea
Eritrea
Haiti
Iran
Laos
Libya
Mali
Niger
Palestinian Authority
Republic of the Congo
Sierra Leone
Somalia
South Sudan
Sudan
Syria
Yemen

Jinglejangle2525 · 19/08/2026 23:36

Theworldsgonemadagain · 19/08/2026 23:28

100% agree. These women are so stupid to defend dangerous migration policys. I don't give a shite now if people call me racist for having a braincell and caring about dangerous men coming into the country. I'd rather be called that than sit back and say to my child well I cared more about people calling me right wing and being a tolerant sheep than your safety. The stats speak for themselves. Those are only conviction rates, most rapes don't end in conviction so God help us what the real figures are.

Any woman who is not concerned just baffles me. They must not live in the real world. The way things are, I’m cautious around ALL men. So why would any woman not see an influx of men coming over as an issue? Truly baffling. We had a migrant hotel near us and they went out in groups into the town centre at night trying to lure drunk young girls back.

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 23:37

EasternStandard · 19/08/2026 23:20

Use a system that vets much better.

Vets for what? Be specific.

LobeliaBaggins · 19/08/2026 23:42

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 23:34

Ok.

that’s a good idea.

can you provide a list because if this is to be government policy there needs to be a list.

(you may find it easier to list the countries where it is not atrocious)

It gets complicated, doesn't it?

Has anybody been called racist so far on this thread? I think not, so there seems little reason to fear that.

Some of us are calling for a little more clarity though. It's not that I think a flood of undocumented men is a good thing. It's just that it's way more complicated than saying ' Well I don't want to go to that country, so I am not letting in any men from there".

EasternStandard · 19/08/2026 23:42

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 23:37

Vets for what? Be specific.

Previous crime. If we can’t then the system isn’t good enough.

Btw it’s not hard to be ‘specific’. Most immigration is vetted.

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:42

LobeliaBaggins · 19/08/2026 23:42

It gets complicated, doesn't it?

Has anybody been called racist so far on this thread? I think not, so there seems little reason to fear that.

Some of us are calling for a little more clarity though. It's not that I think a flood of undocumented men is a good thing. It's just that it's way more complicated than saying ' Well I don't want to go to that country, so I am not letting in any men from there".

I gave a list

LobeliaBaggins · 19/08/2026 23:43

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:42

I gave a list

How did you come up with that list?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 19/08/2026 23:43

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 23:37

Vets for what? Be specific.

Previous crimes. Two murders in Ireland as an example. I can google the names if necessary, a young girl aged 8 murdered her throat slit, the man convinced from Afghanistan came from the UK where he served time for rape and kidnap. The second incident two men, also international protection status got in a fight, one stabbed to death, he had charges in Italy for rape he’d been deported to Nigeria but returned, the man who stabbed him was on the run for rape of a teenage boy in the Uk. Where is the vetting??? Understandable there is barriers, these men gave their name and fingerprints but no one checked the background.

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:45

LobeliaBaggins · 19/08/2026 23:43

How did you come up with that list?

This is the list the USA Government use

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 23:46

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:35

Afghanistan
Burkina Faso
Burma (Myanmar)
Chad
Equatorial Guinea
Eritrea
Haiti
Iran
Laos
Libya
Mali
Niger
Palestinian Authority
Republic of the Congo
Sierra Leone
Somalia
South Sudan
Sudan
Syria
Yemen

Ok, that’s a list.

on a personal level I have been to Laos and I’m not sure why it’s on the list to be honest, it struck me as a fairly standard East Asian developing nation. Obviously communist but I’m not sure what that has to do with rape rates.

but then the obvious response is that the nationalities that top the rape rate in the U.K. (Indians, poles and Romanians) are not on that list. Why are they not on the list?

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:48

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 23:46

Ok, that’s a list.

on a personal level I have been to Laos and I’m not sure why it’s on the list to be honest, it struck me as a fairly standard East Asian developing nation. Obviously communist but I’m not sure what that has to do with rape rates.

but then the obvious response is that the nationalities that top the rape rate in the U.K. (Indians, poles and Romanians) are not on that list. Why are they not on the list?

You keep on hammering on about 3 again and again and again. Okay, let's add them to the list to?

Neverstopwondering · 19/08/2026 23:48

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:45

This is the list the USA Government use

Is that the list they are using because of hostile states and terrorist activity or was it made for sexual offenses or something else?

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 23:49

EasternStandard · 19/08/2026 23:42

Previous crime. If we can’t then the system isn’t good enough.

Btw it’s not hard to be ‘specific’. Most immigration is vetted.

Edited

We can’t

I used to be a teacher. We had a girl once from Denmark who was training to be a teacher and needed a dbs. It took six months and she had to be accompanied at all times until it came through,

and that’s Denmark which is a developed Western European nation,

there’s absolutely no way to check for all previous crimes in all countries.

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EasternStandard · 19/08/2026 23:51

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 23:49

We can’t

I used to be a teacher. We had a girl once from Denmark who was training to be a teacher and needed a dbs. It took six months and she had to be accompanied at all times until it came through,

and that’s Denmark which is a developed Western European nation,

there’s absolutely no way to check for all previous crimes in all countries.

Well then it’s not worth it. I don’t see why you or anyone is ok with women and girls providing a proxy vetting service instead, via crime.

And police certificate checks do take place in many cases.

OtterlyAstounding · 19/08/2026 23:52

LobeliaBaggins · 19/08/2026 23:42

It gets complicated, doesn't it?

Has anybody been called racist so far on this thread? I think not, so there seems little reason to fear that.

Some of us are calling for a little more clarity though. It's not that I think a flood of undocumented men is a good thing. It's just that it's way more complicated than saying ' Well I don't want to go to that country, so I am not letting in any men from there".

People have been called racist - I reported a comment that called another commenter racist, and it was deleted.

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 23:52

Mumterz · 19/08/2026 23:45

This is the list the USA Government use

That’ll be why Laos is on it then it’s still officially communist.

btw the uk offers scholarships to students from Laos to come and study here. Chevening scholarships.