AIBU to refuse to feed the baby in the hallway?

[Pigeonpairmum]

DH is working from home today and I’m on maternity leave with our 11 month old DD.

DD had been napping, so I was sat in the kitchen with DH while I had a call with my employer about my return to work. The internet was playing up, so he suggested I go into the living room, but I said I didn’t really want to be sat on the sofa for a call with HR. I never asked him to leave the room.

DD then woke up from her nap and needed some lunch, so I set up her highchair in the kitchen. DH asked what I was doing as he had a call and needed me to be out of the kitchen.

I said to him that I was going to feed her in the kitchen because that’s where we eat. He suggested I feed her in the hallway instead.

For context, we only have a kitchen diner & living room downstairs and we don’t eat in the living room. The hallway obviously isn’t somewhere we would normally feed DD either.

I understand that he needs the kitchen to be quiet for his work call, but I also had a baby who had just woken up and needed lunch. He ended up going into the living room as I refused to feed DD in the hallway.

Was I being unreasonable here?

And the cooker and the kettle. And the taps and sink.

The ridiculousness of people not reading and thinking the baby can eat elsewhere.

Eat what?!

I’d get him to use a remote local working place. They are usually about 10£ -£20 a day . Obv not everyday but on days like these.

A cream carpet with children, good luck keeping it cream without food in the mix lol

What's wrong with sitting on the sofa for a call from HR?

The kitchen is a totally unsuitable place to wfh. Its needed for so many things. He needs to work elsewhere.

I don't understand why so many of you are so combative with your family members. Jeez. Just feed the kid in the hall for a minute.

Surely he should work in the living room or a bedroom (or in the hall if there is room). The kitchen is the one room everyone needs access to, eating, getting a drink, running dishwashers and washing machines, it's not the place to work. Since he's brought it to a head just no more WFH in the kitchen. If he does he has to move if he needs quiet and privacy.

Yes agree. You can't just not go in the kitchen because he wants to work there. If he needs a desk could you have a fold up one in the living room or upstairs.

Yes absolutely this

Your living room is wasted space OP since neither of you seem to want to use it.

With what food?

YANBU. How can he possibly WFH if there's nowhere quiet and private for him to do so? Sitting in the kitchen is not a solution unless you and the baby are out all day every day. Does he WFH full time? Doesn't this arrangement ruin his back?

He needs a proper desk in your living room or bedroom. Fold up one if necessary so he can put it away after work / at weekends. Or tell him to go to the office or a co working space. Soon the baby will be a toddler and working downstairs will be absolutely impossible with him or her around.

Be more prepared so it was ready before lunch. Fuck your impractical carpet and feed the baby in the living room or hall. Not everything has to be a power struggle drama.

It's... a kitchen.

Lunch is being prepared at lunchtime. In a kitchen.

Or you know, you adapt to the here and now by being prepared and... flexible

He should not be WFH in the kitchen! What is this? Why on earth wouldn't he automatically have gone into the living room? Not only when you are feeding your child but any time he WFH, unless you and your child usually use the living room. We had this during the lockdowns... we sorted it out. Even my unreasonable DH eventually conceded the obvious point...

Everyone could be more flexible. This is ridiculous.

This all sounds quite nitpicking. You bith could've gone in a different room for your calls. Yes it's reasonable to want to stay in the kitchen to feed dd but I think by staying in there for your call you've made an issue whereby he feels he needs to. You need a conversation about what's appropriate for work calls and where they should be taken and rules around them.

When dh started working from home I was clear it’s a home before it’s a work place

The baby is asleep. So you need to have bought a fridge for the hallway for the prepared lunch, and set up plates and cutlery for you and the baby in the hall. And the highchair. And a jug of water. And a shelf or cupboard for food that doesn't need chilling. And actually forget the jug of water, you'll need a sink for washing hands which get sticky feeding the baby and between different foods you're feeding/handing to the baby.

Also, how many meals is she preparing? Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks? Where's she putting the dirty stuff? Is she allowed to pop in the kitchen between meetings?

Or... don't replicate a kitchen, and just use the kitchen. And he goes anywhere else. Because it's a kitchen.

He was already set up in the kitchen for the call, if I didn’t want to use the living room (laying something down to protect the carpet), I wouldn’t have minded the hall.

As a one off, what difference does it make, as long as she gets fed?

A cream carpet may need to get changed anyway at some point, not very practical, especially with young DC as they grow up will be stressful to try to maintain.

It’s not like you have lots of rooms, it’s your only living room, not a show room?