AIBU to refuse to feed the baby in the hallway?

[Pigeonpairmum]

DH is working from home today and I’m on maternity leave with our 11 month old DD.

DD had been napping, so I was sat in the kitchen with DH while I had a call with my employer about my return to work. The internet was playing up, so he suggested I go into the living room, but I said I didn’t really want to be sat on the sofa for a call with HR. I never asked him to leave the room.

DD then woke up from her nap and needed some lunch, so I set up her highchair in the kitchen. DH asked what I was doing as he had a call and needed me to be out of the kitchen.

I said to him that I was going to feed her in the kitchen because that’s where we eat. He suggested I feed her in the hallway instead.

For context, we only have a kitchen diner & living room downstairs and we don’t eat in the living room. The hallway obviously isn’t somewhere we would normally feed DD either.

I understand that he needs the kitchen to be quiet for his work call, but I also had a baby who had just woken up and needed lunch. He ended up going into the living room as I refused to feed DD in the hallway.

Was I being unreasonable here?

Could he take his call somewhere else in the house? Or was his laptop etc all set up? What normally happens when he works from home at lunch time?

What is the normal WFH set up? Do you have a bedroom that either one of you could use for WFH calls? Taking them in the kitchen clearly doesn’t work with an 11 month old 🤷‍♀️

He moves around, half the day sat on the sofa, half the day at the kitchen island. It’s just a standard laptop that he can move around with, so no particular set up. He does usually take calls from the kitchen, but he has calls today until 4pm and I couldn’t wait that long to feed DD.

Why can’t he go upstairs?

You could have easily fed her in the living room as a one off, they was no need to even consider the hall!

@TurtleMcTurtle there isn’t really anywhere to sit upstairs other than on the bed.

@KilkennyCats the hall was his suggestion, and I hadn’t even prepared her lunch so I still needed access to the kitchen regardless.

I probably would of just gone in the hallway if he was already set up in the kitchen tbf. I definitely wouldn’t of waited until 4pm. I’m assuming the living room is out of bounds due to carpet/ mess. I often used to use the hallway as we had a small kitchen and hallway which was tiled and a living diner which was carpeted.

He csnt block kitchen access until 4pm. Put him in the lounge or he goes to the office. Seems a shady WFH set up.

Why didn't you feed her in the living room? You said you don't eat in the living room but surely you can be flexible if your husband was taking an important call. You didn't have to feed her in the hallway.

I wrote YABU because I thought you were breastfeeding. Obv if it's actual food it should be in the kitchen to have access to the food!

If he wanted quiet he could go elsewhere.

Or, if it was easy enough to feed DD, I would have gone into the hallway, no biggie.

Why can't he sit in the living room room? Ridiculous to use a kitchen when you need to use it.

It’s quite a rigid set up that you won’t feed in the living room given you’ve limited downstairs options and someone who WFH.

I would try to help with his work situation rather than being pedantic about precisely where the baby eats on one occasion

You both seem pretty inflexible and unreasonable tbh. If your DH was reporting to be Id be concerned he wfh but doesn’t have a proper work station without family around him.

TBH it doesn’t sound the ideal set up to be Wfh, if he had moved into the living room for say 30 mins whilst you had the kitchen surely he then would of had to of moved again into the kitchen so you could be in the living room to play etc as i’m assuming post lunch you wouldn’t want to be staying in the kitchen with an 11 month old? Maybe he thought staying set up in one place was easier than moving around especially if on calls which maybe don’t have a specific end time.

Get a fold down desk for either a bedroom. The set up for wfh is ridiculous.

You both appear to have been a tad intransigent.
I do think it was unreasonable to not have fed the child elsewhere as a one off.

Man, if these are the things you find to argue about no wonder no one stays married any more. It’s really not a problem to feed a baby somewhere else in the grand scheme of things (unless at that very messy stage?)

But maybe sit down together and figure out where a spare desk can go - wfh in the kitchen is not sustainable long term with a family.

Or... he could have taken his work call in the sitting room. Or buggered off to the office if he doesn't like the home set up when the OP is on maternity leave.

I think you need to get a desk or a table for upstairs wfh. This problem is only going to get worse as baby gets older/becomes a toddler.

It's an odd WFH set up if he's using the kitchen - the one room you pretty much have to access whether or not you have children.
DH needs to sort out a different set up. I wouldn't be happy to excluded from the kitchen.

I never said we argued, people are allowed to have disagreements though 😂

He doesn’t usually work from home hence no proper set up, and the living room has cream carpet so yes I am rigid about no eating in there especially for an 11 month old. The kitchen is for eating and preparing food. No reason he can’t take calls in the living room. If it’s not professional for him to take a call from the living room he should go into the office 🤷🏻‍♀️

YANBU home is for home priorities first, with work needs fitting around those.

If one of you wfh regularly, you need to organise a space that's available for that person for the full day. If you've a spare room, that's great, but if not, you need to agree a space so the worker can concentrate.

She's 11 months. How messy do you think?