Partner maybe having mental break down ?

[strugglingtbh]

I don’t know what to do.
my partner is 49, he works full time Monday - Friday
he leaves for work at 6.30am and is home around 3.30pm
i have older children from previous relationship & we have a 2 year old together. I’m stay at home mum. Will be going back to work next year. we’re ok for money. Not rich but fine.

I keep the house nice, look after all children, school runs, days out I do all the cooking the food shopping. All the mum / house wife duties. He always comes home to his dinner ready, clean home, the kids are all good & very chill. I’m moving towards him he’s not neglected at all.

weekends we do family things, his mum visits, go out for dinner, we put things up round the house just normal family weekends. Date nights are little because we have a young family.

for a few months he’s moaned about everything. He’s called me some awful things. Loser, fat, crap mum, I need to better my life, called me horrible things in the bedroom.
he doesn’t sleep, he’s up & down all night long pacing the house. Tonight I went to him and he was looking out the window crying? I cuddled him, spoke to him, asked questions, he quickly snapped and stormed off and told me to make it into something it’s not?? All I did was care.
he says he gets no time to himself & there’s always something that needs doing like mowing the grass!???

I said that’s a normal homely job this is not normal that’s when he flipped.
if he hears a slight noise outside or neighbours he’s up and flips. He shouted out the window to neighbours the other night to shut the F up. I’m embarrassed.
if our 18 month old wakes up he’s annoyed. Everything annoys him. I’m so low. This is only a few things mentioned. I’m his emotional punch bag.
he’s started smoking weed which I don’t think is helping. But if I mention that he flips. He use to smoke it years ago. Gave up for ages now back on it.
he tells me I don’t love him or fancy him???? He has no reason behind this I can promise you. He refuses to see a GP.
he often texts me abuse when he’s at work & it ruins my day. I’m riddled with anxiety because of him.
ive told him nobody’s stopping you going out & doing as you please. I’ve even told him if family life is too much for you go live your life ill raise I’ll son. I’ve given him every option.
he’s really not mentally all there. Road rage, snappy, low.
he said he feels like he’s drowning.
what do I do :(

He's still a pothead though.

And children aren't stupid.

so GO FOR IT!

He has his own home, he constantly insults you... Tell him to go and live somewhere else. It is a no-brainer.

A former friend of mine practically chain smoked weed.

He ended up being sectioned because of cannabis-induced psychosis, but with hindsight he was plainly quite unwell long before he finally flipped. He was vile to his wife and kids for months and really not rational, but because it was gradual, we all just thought he was being an arsehole for a long while.

This!! A million times this.

And as @cuckoolodger said - You are not a rehab centre for damaged men

If you can't finish this relationship for you, please do it for your kids.

Mental illness or not is no excuse for constant verbal abuse, this is no way to live you must know this

You don't need to call a solicitor, you need to call a locksmith. Get the locks changed, pack up his shit, all of it, and tell him it will be on the doorstop and to come and get it.

He might be having a mental breakdown. He might not. It's his job, not yours to work that out.

Your job is to protect yourself and your DC from men that can't behave themselves.

You say he owns his own house.
Ask him to go and stay there so that you get some relief from all of this

In that case, it's very straightforward - tell him to pack his bags and get the fuck out of your house! Seriously, don't put up with any more of this for one day longer - you sound like a lovely woman and you deserve better 💐

Kick him out @strugglingtbh and heal.

You don't deserve this.

If he's unwell then he can get better at his own house and you can see if there's anything left to rebuild.

If you're just seeing his true, vile self then the sooner you split the better.

And change the locks

I agree. I’d put money on him being a coke addict

1. Tell him to get out of your house.

2. Ask at the job centre which benefits you will be entitled to as a single parent.
   If there's a question about why your circumstances changed, "relationship breakdown due to verbal abuse'" is a realistic answer.

THIS!!⬆

He is a dangerous person to be around as it soundslike he is starting to feelhe has nothing to lose.

Get him out of your house! Text him to tell him it's over and not to come to the house, call Women's Aid and if he shows up, the police. Get him out and get security cameras, at least a Ring for the front and back. You need to protect your children.
Yes, you will have to go back to work, but at least you all will be safe.

If you have your own house, you’re in a great position here - in fact a much better position than many women who find themselves trapped by this kind of abuse. It doesn’t matter if he’s unwell - there’s no excuse for using you as his emotional punching bag.
And to top that, he’s self medicating with weed (which will only make things worse).

Only you can decide what to do but you’d do yourself the biggest favour if you told him you’ve had enough and you’d like him to leave.