AIBU to ask if anyone works in a job where verbal abuse is expected, and how they deal with it?

[CountSlugula]

Just that really. I work in mental health. Not new, I have been in the field 15+ years. It's part and parcel of the job with people who are seriously mentally unwell, I know that, and it isn't necessarily a true reflection of who they are when well. Just having a particularly challenging time at the moment with relentless abuse of really personal nastiness (of me and many others in my team, including racism, homophobia) and have to grit my teeth and get on with it.

I have to be very careful about confidentiality so won't be able to give more details. So just looking for general tips, rather than specific advice on my situation.

Slightly different but I work in a company that specialises in Customer Experience. We create a lot of the contact touchpoints and it’s becoming increasingly common for me to write ‘tolerance’ messaging, it seems to spread across all the different industries we work with

NHS worker here. Just grin and bear it because there’s no recompense for us.

So you shout and swear and are abusive, they have to accept this, give you food and drink, and then subject their colleagues to the same? And you can’t be told your abusive behaviour is wrong?

Are you allowed to tell these people “You don’t get to speak to me like that” and leave the room if they continue? I’m
so sorry you have to deal with this. (I’m guessing “off to the asylum with you if you carry on like this” in a jokey tone is not allowed 😬)

@alovelypinkunicornYeah be cause telling a mentally ill person in crisis that their unreasonable and rude is so helpful that would work great.

I work in a senior school. Senior leadership. The abuse, threats, racism (I'm white) and attitude we receive from pupils and parents is daily. From simple things such as asking them to stop kicking a sink off a wall and to go to class. Parents are not always supportive either. I've been told that I'm a different breed of human as a teacher and we can't even have kids so what would we know? I actually have 2 teenagers and never even had a phone call home about their behaviour! A popular turn of phrase is.... Well they are your problem between 9-3. We have to phone the police quite often. I think I take it for so long and then eventually it really gets to me and I need to hide in my office and cry it out,then go back out and face it again. First day of term here and we had to call the police this morning. I've sat in A&E and seen staff take abuse and I sat there thinking it's just like being at my work. I don't know how we fix it. Exclusions only do so much then they want excluded. I feel for anyone who has to deal with anything like this. All the pay in the world doesn't make it okay

I go into infant schools and I've seen 6 year olds using vile swear words, threatening language and using violence against other kids and staff, or destroying school property so nothing would surprise me in secondary schools. Unfortunately for some kids this is what they see at home so they think it's normal behaviour.

You report mentally ill people to the police for "hate speech"? Wow.

So the abuse and agression should be accepted?

“I hope you fucking die you fucking cunt, I’m gonna kill you! “

Does that count?

Yes I work in customer services for the UK's favourite retailer and the way some customers speak to me is appalling.

I've been called a c**t, sworn at, told I'm thick, I'm a failure that's why I work in customer services. I think this speaks volumes of who they are as a person!

Luckily I have thick skin so it rarely bothers me.

Yes as the person exhibiting this behaviour a lot of the time can't help it. The staff member can choose how they react. Have you ever suffered with psychosis, a brain injury or a serious mental illness. Where not talking about mild depression or anxiety here we're talking about serious mental illness.

No it shouldn’t that’s why there are signs up in hospitals and gp
prax saying abuse will not be tolerated.
all those saying “it’s fine you have to accept this” would be te first on the phone to gmc if they thought they weren’t being treated properly

🙄🙄

Oh but @ChalkOutlines think of the poor
upset of the person who said that! What did YOU do to make them say that… they’ve been failed 😣

is that still the stance?

Mature response… so if they can’t help it, and they think that’s the right way to behave, why would they be offended when they get the same behaviour?

Once a man I was dealing who had a wooden leg told me he hoped I got run over and also lost a leg. A colleague that was walking past overheard stopped and told him she hoped he got wood worm. It certainly shut him up.

Sorry but I disagree. There should be a 0 tolerance

Why is it that they need to swear and be offensive towards the people trying to help them? Why should the section of society that tries to help be subject to such abuse. Society could also choose to put these people in asylums and sedate them, maybe that would be better than support workers being worn down like this.

Job centre. Daily swearing, insults etc.
We see people in really desperate situations and take it out on us cos we can't always give them the answer they want (money).

@ALovelyPinkUnicorndo you work in a field like this or are you just 'youth of today'ing?

Have no idea what you mean by this. Have inferred you mean to be derogatory?

The op didn’t ask for people to comment with a job that experienced more verbal abuse than working with people with mental
illness. They asked for a job where you experience any verbal abuse. Why did you feel the need to question the poster who mentioned teaching? Faux surprise thinly veiling teacher bashing is tiresome.

So they should.

I work in local journalism and every day is a stream of abuse in the social media comments starting with ‘fixed it for you’ (after someone re-writes a headline tipping into the realms of defamation or contempt of court) and ending with people telling me they’re going to put a bullet through my head.

I used to put up with it but now I report all these fuckers to the police.

I think the level of abuse teachers put up with is beyond the pale and it should be much, much easier to permanently exclude children. The (well-intentioned) aim of keeping kids in school where possible has had the consequence of empowering appalling behaviour. Violence toward a teacher should result in immediate expulsion, as it did at my school in the 90s when it only happened once and he was marched off the premises and we never saw him again.