Need some advice about my 15yo son and a sudden opportunity

[sooof]

I honestly don't know what to do here and would really appreciate some outside opinions.

My son is 15 and about a month ago he applied for a film studio course. It's a 6 week programme that teaches filmmaking and also includes visits to studios. He would have to stay there for the full 6 weeks.

Honestly he applied without really thinking he would get in. It's a very prestigious programme with very limited places and it's something he's genuinely interested in. Yesterday we got the confirmation email and an official letter saying he was accepted so it's definitely happening.

He is absolutely thrilled. I don't think there is any way I could tell him no after seeing how excited he is about it. So realistically either my husband or I will have to go with him.

The problem is the timing is terrible.

We're from Madrid and currently we're away on a trip. I also have two other children who are 13 and 10. My youngest is particularly dependent on me and has never been away from me for anything close to six weeks.

I also went back to work in September and already have some important clients and commitments. If I decided to go with my son I could technically rearrange things, but it wouldn't be easy. I would have to move two important client commitments by about six weeks and there is also a summit at the end of next month that I am expected to attend.

My husband has a lot going on at work too and has a small work trip at the end of September, so it's not as simple as just saying he'll stay home with the other two.

We have about two weeks before my son has to start on September 1st so we have some time to figure out the logistics, but suddenly we're trying to reorganise work, childcare, school, travel and everything else around something we never expected to actually happen.

And honestly I'm torn.

On one hand this is a huge opportunity for my son and something he is genuinely passionate about. I don't want him to miss it because the timing is inconvenient for the rest of us.

On the other hand, leaving my younger two for six weeks feels like a huge thing too, especially my youngest. I also have responsibilities at work that can't just disappear

I wouldn’t deny him that opportunity. If you really want to make it work, I’m sure there’s a way. Your 10yr old’s neediness shouldn’t come at the expense of his older brother’s dreams and opportunities. You also don’t know how he’ll cope until you give him the chance to have some independence and be without you for a longer period.

I moved away from home at 16, so I can believe he should be able to manage for six weeks, unless the organisers specifically require parental supervision. And if you or your husband can work remotely, six weeks really isn’t that long.

It's been pointed out that you can't work remotely in the US on a tourist visa (I hadn't quite realised this).

I would add this to the million other reasons why I wouldn't be trying to make it work.

You need a host family. My city has loads of people who provide bed, breakfast and evening meal, washing clothes and social contact.

I live in a US major city with two of the most prestigious performing arts schools and colleges for 15+ year olds. This is a con. There is no way anything with any prestige will
operate a 6 week course for a high schooler, starting on Sept 1, without a huge infrastructure behind it (travel, accommodation, applications a year out giving time for parents to save up and organize logistics, scholarships, reference letters and so forth). $1k/wk isn’t outrageous for a summer camp but you’d expect accommodation to be included at that price. If this is a course that one applies for, internationally, 2 weeks’ notice for something beginning in Sept with parents required to supervise is, frankly, bullshit.

You’ve been had. I hope you haven’t paid anything yet.

Thank you for being blunt about it. I’ve tried to point this out too but OP seems to have vanished.

Either it was a fake thread (a bizarre one at that) or OP has realised she’s been had and is desperately trying to report them and get her money back.

No. They do summer ones for the teens which makes sense

This OP and their family set up remind me of a thread a few weeks ago. A man (I believe a Brit) married in Madrid to a Spanish woman who worked in art galleries, quite senior and had 3 kids similar ages to OP from what I remember. He was considering a ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity for 1 yr in LA and the wife was opposed. He was resentful as to date he lived in a place she wanted to live for her career etc and wanted to take that year for himself.
now a very similar family set up (although we don’t know much about the husband here) has another exceptional opportunity in LA for the son.
does anybody remember the thread I’m talking about?

To me it sounds like the companies that run the so called poetry competitions in uk primary schools. Almost every child’s poem is “ selected” and printed in a book which the gullible parents are invited to purchase, ( and one each for the grannies, and a couple for the aunties and godparents).

As the saying goes if something is too good to be true then it probably is.

Sorry - that was what I was saying - none of them do courses starting in September anywhere.

Re summer schools: that’s all I could find out too - though why I wasted time looking when I was supposed to be doing other life admin for DS and his uni course 🤦🏽‍♀️

Lots of amazing summer schools throughout Europe, if this post is real. London (BFI) and other places - Hollywood really isn’t the only place to learn and perfect film making.

see my above post. Have reported this thread btw but you know, engagement and all that.....it will stand. Looking forward to the next installment!

and @PeloMom I sometimes wonder whether people use these threads to work out creative writing plots by canvassing MN for feedback on what are obviously implausible plot set ups.

Hadn’t realised this was the same poster as that other ludicrous thread. 🤦🏽‍♀️

There are also potential issues with you working in the US, in terms of taking company data abroad - I know that sounds odd, but depe ding what industry you work in, America has all sorts of complex rules and regulations around import, and more importantly export of data (and equipment). There is in theory a risk of them seizing your laptop on the basis that anything you've You creared on it whilst there cannot be exported without a licence; you should check that your company's legal dept is ok with you taking a laptop and their data there.

You CAN go to work in the US, though, to work in an office or attend conferences and meetings, so long as the main purpose of your stay is declared at the point of getting your ESTA. The ESTA does then cover you for subsequent tourist visits as it lasts for 2 years but, as I understand it, neither of those are deemed to be the same as travelling to the US wth family and then remote working, as it falls foul of tax law - you’d need to pay tax on your income for the weeks/months you were in the US.

This is standard for most countries, in fact - so every time you open your lap top and read a report, join a call about it, when on holiday in Italy [post Brexit], you are breaking their tax laws because you are there on a tourist visa, yet earning income from your employment whilst in their country. Most nations waived this during Covid, but many are now becoming hotter on checking why you have a work lap top with you if you are going to a Mark Warner Resort with the spouse n kids.

What’s for you will not go by you.

This “amazing opportunity” appears to have just dropped in his lap. I guarantee he will have other opportunities. No point in turning yourself inside out to meet this one.

The NYFA appear to do online courses, maybe that will suit better in the meantime.

OP has slunk off 🫠

Reported - lack of engagement

Is it walking distance from a nice little guest house? If yes book him in and leave him there. If not swap about with husband to share the load

If this is real, it sounds more like a trafficking opportunity. Would anyone really send their 15 year old son to Los Angeles for a spurious 'once in a lifetime' course. That only tooks two weeks to apply for and be accepted.

Did MN reply - with the usual ‘we have looked into this poster and see nothing untoward so are leaving the thread up for now’ pro forma reply?